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Expert chat: Enthusiastic Consent & Conditional Consent (Wed 21st February)

Hey everyone!

On Wednesday 21st Feb at 6.30pm, Sarah our expert, will be running an expert chat about Enthusiastic Consent and Conditional Consent.

Sarah is the co-founder of Scarlet Ladies, a community of women with the aim to destigmatise and normalise the conversation around female sexuality.

Suffering from post traumatic stress disorder after experiencing a number of traumas, including rape, Sarah is reclaiming her body by engaging in bodybuilding and powerlifting. Taking back control of her sexuality, she is currently remaining abstinent. Working and campaigning with other women for the sexual empowerment of women has been an integral part of her healing journey.


Come along and join us! Find out more here
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Vanilla features: have your say

As we move to our new boards software, Vanilla, we'll have a few new features at our disposal. We're keen to hear what you all think about them, so head here to have your say over how we'll use (or not use) some of the new features. Fill out the form before Wednesday the 21st to tell us your thoughts and have the option of joining our testing team!
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The Great Boards Migration

Great news! We're moving to new discussion boards software. Head here for the full announcement.
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Post of The Month

One-in-a-million is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Just a bit of fun here if you could create an advent calendar what would you put in it and why.

For me you would still get chocolate 😆😆
But inside each door is a task for the day. Something that includes you helping/talking to others, doing something festive and spreading Christmas cheer
For example

1. Tell your parents/carers you love them
2. Say hello when passing an OAP (that might be the only thing someone says to them all week)
3. Watch a Christmas movie
4. Help someone in need e.g put some spare change in a charity box, buy a warm drink for the homeless person who sits on the corner, dothe washing up ha ha ha😂
5 make hot chocolate
6. Visit your grandparents (if you donít already) They will more than likely love to see you.
7. Sing a Christmas song with a friend
8. Dress up in something Christmasy when you do your shopping.

You get the idea 😂😉 my reason for this is to get people in the mood and understand what Christmas actually means.

What would yours have and why."
(Click for full post )
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Maybe only me who thinks this

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  • Maybe only me who thinks this

    Basically i think your safety thing needs improving.
    And while im writing this i want to say I am really really sorry for my posts recently. I Will not be posting even my thoughts on suicide anymore. And will be taking them somewhere else. But maybe some times i just wanted some help but couldn't get it myself.

    But it's more that when i read someone who's suicidal and sound at a real risk and they have opened up about their thoughts and what they have done. That is not what triggers or upsets me - it's that they wont be getting help.

    I've used childline 121 chat once. And that's only because the first time i used it was because they broke my confidentiality on something that was literally nothing. And makes me question your safety of things. And if you actually ever break confidentiality or if you can?
    Don't know where im goimg with this but you probably do what you think is righ then just ignore me. I dont mean to sound harsh just my concern
    "Recovery is my best revenge" - Carolyn Spring "Let your past make you better not bitter" - Unknown

  • #2
    Hi Mike
    Thanks for getting back and that link.
    It is related to that thread. I just think someone's safety especially if it's that serious is far more important then their confidentiality
    "Recovery is my best revenge" - Carolyn Spring "Let your past make you better not bitter" - Unknown

    Comment


    • #3
      Hey Shaunie, I think you are absolutely right! Also thanks for clarifying the confidentiality policy too Mike!
      "Truely independent person who doesn't do quotes, just dates".. (29.04.17)

      Comment


      • #4
        I used to use Childline myself Shaunie but switched over to Kooth, they tend to break confidentiality very often and sometimes it will be rather silly things but my guess is possibly because young people use it most they likely want to be extra careful x
        "Don't call it a dream, call it a plan."


        Danny~

        Comment


        • #5
          Glad you agree
          I understand that but I mean rare cumstances would be life or death situations? But you dont ? I could give examples of ones that even police have/would get involve with. Ive been detained for whole 5/6 weeks just for having a plan.

          And in the nicest way possible I think if that sort of thing was taken more seriously on here would have a lot less triggering posts. And then would also take it more seriously and question before posting.

          Hope that makes sense and understand where im coming from.

          But other then that really good kept site
          "Recovery is my best revenge" - Carolyn Spring "Let your past make you better not bitter" - Unknown

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Shaunie View Post
            Glad you agree
            I understand that but I mean rare cumstances would be life or death situations? But you dont ? I could give examples of ones that even police have/would get involve with. Ive been detained for whole 5/6 weeks just for having a plan.

            And in the nicest way possible I think if that sort of thing was taken more seriously on here would have a lot less triggering posts. And then would also take it more seriously and question before posting.

            Hope that makes sense and understand where im coming from.

            But other then that really good kept site
            Very good point!
            "Truely independent person who doesn't do quotes, just dates".. (29.04.17)

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Saudade View Post
              I used to use Childline myself Shaunie but switched over to Kooth, they tend to break confidentiality very often and sometimes it will be rather silly things but my guess is possibly because young people use it most they likely want to be extra careful x
              I was actually thinking this was the reason for frequent confidentiality breaks over there earlier. Personally I've never had mine broken but I'm forever asking them about it cos it does worry me!
              "Truely independent person who doesn't do quotes, just dates".. (29.04.17)

              Comment


              • #8
                Ah
                so i used childline today and had like a 2 hour chat with them to tell me they're breaking my confidenality over abusing pills over a period of time. Then ended it. I went back to chaf to tell them im in hospital (Obviously not) but there reason was stupid and I'm not saying it's not why I dont use them but the first time they broke it was a lack of communication and misuderstanding whar i was saying is - why I dont use it. Not to sure they belived me so bsically sitting here hoping police aren't going to come to my door soon. Obviously I don't think your safety policy should be that stricted.

                @themix could you get back to me of my last reply or pm me? Its Just weird that if i said I was going to plan to kill someone (and hadnt of told anyone professionals aswell ) - you would of been on that straight away. It's still a life. I'm just saying for the safety of other users in future.
                Last edited by Shaunie; 07-05-2017, 09:02 PM.
                "Recovery is my best revenge" - Carolyn Spring "Let your past make you better not bitter" - Unknown

                Comment


                • #9
                  Thank you for that

                  But i feel like your missing my point a bit. I get that it's the wrong place to ask for help and all tbat . And completely understand you would remove it but i mean like the fact you know something like a plan. Like things like someon is immadiate danger can't really help because it take a while to get tbe help. - And if people know of their behaviours and are aware.

                  But something like a plan that no one else knows seems a bit different. And I get would feel less trusting but surely being here is more important then that. And surely if I've been detained for it then it's something by law you have to breach?

                  I've had countless of assigment work around confidenality and comminucation and that, that I've heard enough. And all the legilations and the Data Protection Act. But just concerns me. And someone saying they're going to kill themselves being a massive one to break confidentiality

                  Sorry if im being annoying or coming across as rude.
                  Last edited by Shaunie; 08-05-2017, 02:34 PM.
                  "Recovery is my best revenge" - Carolyn Spring "Let your past make you better not bitter" - Unknown

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    And i get the different polices . Like samaratains don't have to but they probably don't have any policy to go by for safryu except to keep it all confidential but you have the data protection act
                    "Recovery is my best revenge" - Carolyn Spring "Let your past make you better not bitter" - Unknown

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Shaunie View Post
                      Thank you for that

                      But i feel like your missing my point a bit. I get that it's the wrong place to ask for help and all tbat . And completely understand you would remove it but i mean like the fact you know something like a plan. Like things like someon is immadiate danger can't really help because it take a while to get tbe help. - And if people know of their behaviours and are aware.

                      But something like a plan that no one else knows seems a bit different. And I get would feel less trusting but surely being here is more important then that. And surely if I've been detained for it then it's something by law you have to breach?

                      I've had countless of assigment work around confidenality and comminucation and that, that I've heard enough. And all the legilations and the Data Protection Act. But just concerns me. And someone saying they're going to kill themselves being a massive one to break confidentiality

                      Sorry if im being annoying or coming across as rude.
                      I think I get what you mean. Just to clarify do you mean that you feel that if someone has a plan etc their confidentiality should be broken more easily on here?
                      "Truely independent person who doesn't do quotes, just dates".. (29.04.17)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Ah yeah basically!
                        "Recovery is my best revenge" - Carolyn Spring "Let your past make you better not bitter" - Unknown

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          On support sites like this though it also depends on the persons age (to me, I dont know why) 13 or 30 somebody ending their own life is so so sad so I think it is wrong depending on someones age. I heard in a group chat on here that they have different policys for breaking confidentiallty for the younger ones and the older ones.
                          I dont want a signature.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Lostsense - I didn't know this? I do agree though I also feel is should be the same no matter the age of the person.
                            "Truely independent person who doesn't do quotes, just dates".. (29.04.17)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Thats what someone said in support chat and it was one of the mods (not one of the main ones) but I dont know
                              I dont want a signature.

                              Comment

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