Essential support for under 25s

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Support Circles on Sundays

Hey everyone,

We're going to be running support circles once a month on a Sunday! At the moment they run on Tuesdays, but for one of those Tuesdays, each month they will be running on a Sunday instead.

This next Sunday support circle will be on 26 November. If you'd like to come along, (sign up by completing the form here )
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Chatwee Update

Update - There's been some technical difficulties launching Chatwee onto our website so we will not be moving to Chatwee on Thursday.

As soon as we fix this issue, we'll announce another date for launching. We're really sorry for the delay in Chatwee, thanks so much for your patience.
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Post of The Month (September)

Maisy is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Hey Shaunie,

​I care. I really relate to what you have been experiencing with the house falling apart, and things not getting fixed due to general shame of the state of the house and not knowing where to begin fixing things or who to contact (you don't want to come across rogue tradesmen). Not even having adequate heating and hot water. And clutter. Everywhere. It's horrible to live in such circumstances, I know. It's hard as well when you see everyone else living a 'normal' life and yet being unable to talk about your situation."
(Click for full post )
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So angry!!

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  • So angry!!

    Bullshit, absolute bullshit!!

    Mike you ignored me the whole chat. I wanted to continue my conversation with you on gender identity because when we last spoke about it we got through a lot. Yes, chat was busy but i was trying to get your attention for over an hour!!! - it has really hurt me because i honestly feel that i went to chat desperate to chat about it and instead it was like talking to a brick wall and yes, i was talking to other users but i was only doing that because they were getting ignored too.
    'Mental health is not a not a destination but a process. It's about how you drive and not where you're going'

  • #2
    Were all listening now if you wanna speak about it!

    Sorry you felt ignored but no one ever intentionally sees a messages and thinks "yep im gunna purposly ignore that" just too many conversations and other users can help you too.
    I dont expect anything - to just end up disappointed. But i do not have zero hope for the future cause that has only dragged me down & brung negativity. I will just not predict the future

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Shaunie View Post
      Were all listening now if you wanna speak about it!

      Sorry you felt ignored but no one ever intentionally sees a messages and thinks "yep im gunna purposly ignore that" just too many conversations and other users can help you too.

      Mike knows though. I just didnt want to explain myself all over again.
      'Mental health is not a not a destination but a process. It's about how you drive and not where you're going'

      Comment


      • #4
        Hey Jess,

        I moved this thread to Problems & Suggestions where it fits slightly better, and hopefully this discussion will be of use to some others who might be feeling the same way.

        Firstly, I'm sorry to hear you felt ignored in yesterday's chat. I know we did chat about gender identity once before, and it can be nice to return to those conversations and continue them. I noticed you were chatting to others during that session, so it's good to see you getting some support even though we didn't talk too much.

        As Shaunie said, we never intentionally ignore messages. As mods, our priority is to oversee the room and make sure everything is running smoothly, and there's a good chance moderators are multitasking more than people in the session are aware. That means that while we do also give a bit of support, it's not our highest priority. The 12 of you folks can do that much more genuinely and authentically than we can as moderators.

        One of the advantages of a peer support space is that you folks can have conversations about what's going on for you, and then carry those on in the next chat. This can be tougher with mods because our attention is often divided across the group. We typically only mod once a week, so we're not always up to date on what's going on for you guys (and re-explaining things can feel a bit tiring) - a lot can happen in a week!

        Chat is your space - a chance for members of this community to come together, talk, and support each other. It's usually not very practical to come to sessions with the aim of talking to moderators, because even though we do chat to people too, we can realistically only have one or two conversations at once.

        The main thing is to come to chat with an open mind and feeling ready to chat to the whole group.

        I hope that makes sense, and helps clear up the role of chat mods for anyone else curious about this.

        Mike
        We're Aife & Mike: the staff team here at The Mix.
        If you have any questions about this place, feel free to
        ask over in the
        Help Desk or send us a private message.

        Comment


        • #5
          I wish i could agree with you Mike but other users felt ignored too and there is a cap on chat now which should really make the job of moderator easier. I honestly felt blatantly ignored last night and i felt that maybe i done something wrong, i upset you in some way and of course peer to peer support is great but i am sure that if you put a poll on the boards asking users about if they come to chat do they prefer to just talk to other users or talk to moderators then im sure around 90% of them would say moderators because you guys are the ones we look up to in a sense so its only normal that some of us only talk to mods.

          You understand?
          Last edited by Jess101; 19-10-2017, 02:22 PM.
          'Mental health is not a not a destination but a process. It's about how you drive and not where you're going'

          Comment


          • #6
            Hi Jess,

            I wasn't there last night, so I don't know what happened and am not going to make any assumptions.

            I do know what you mean about SC - sometimes it's really difficult to know what to say as a user to support someone, so the fact that the moderators also support people as well as moderate the chat in general is fantastic ( The Mix I love how that works).

            I know how it feels to feel completely invisible in chat

            But overall, chat and the whole idea of group support is fantastic.

            I'll be in chat tonight hopefully, hope you feel able to get the support you need tonight or whenever you want to in future. There's also the boards, we're all here if you want to chat.

            Take care

            -Eleanor
            Last edited by independent_; 19-10-2017, 04:37 PM.
            "Truely independent person who doesn't do quotes, just dates".. (29.04.17)

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            • #7
              This has made me angry. Mods are humans and they cant just speak to one member. I think mods do a great job
              Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I will try again tomorrow

              Think ability, not disability

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              • #8
                Originally posted by *BananaMonkey* View Post
                This has made me angry. Mods are humans and they cant just speak to one member. I think mods do a great job

                I am not saying that mods dont do a great job. i was just putting my opinion across, lets just agree to disagree.
                Last edited by Jess101; 19-10-2017, 05:44 PM.
                'Mental health is not a not a destination but a process. It's about how you drive and not where you're going'

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by *BananaMonkey* View Post
                  This has made me angry. Mods are humans and they cant just speak to one member. I think mods do a great job

                  you seem to like picking on jess at the moment..

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    -----------
                    Last edited by independent_; 19-10-2017, 06:43 PM. Reason: Deleted.
                    "Truely independent person who doesn't do quotes, just dates".. (29.04.17)

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Wait what, i never said that mods don't do a great job. I think the mods are amazing to even give their time to help us all.
                      'Mental health is not a not a destination but a process. It's about how you drive and not where you're going'

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Jess101 sorry, edited that last post now. Didn't write it the way I meant it.
                        "Truely independent person who doesn't do quotes, just dates".. (29.04.17)

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          i think everyone needs to calm down. get a hot chocolate and chill

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Hey folks,

                            I've closed this thread now because it looks like things were getting a bit off-track, but it's good to see some constructive input on this discussion too. independent_ it's wicked to hear you're up for supporting others in chat, and glad to hear you like our system in how things work (even though, inevitably, it doesn't always work perfectly)!

                            I see what you're saying, Jess101. It is completely natural to want to engage with those sorts of figures in our lives, but when coming to group chat it's important to keep in mind that you may not get the chance to do so as much as you'd like. Even with the cap on the room, it still can't be a moderator's priority to talk to everybody. We do still have to prioritise our time. I know it can be frustrating, but it's never a personal thing.

                            It's also worth keeping in mind that if you do want that more focused one-on-one support, we do provide that in our Support Circles, our webchat, and even our counselling service. It's good to think about the kind of support you'd like and where it's best to find it.

                            There's also an element of group responsibility here. Let's have a quick look at this guideline:

                            Chat is a group environmentI’m prepared for a bit of give and take and I’ll help to include everyone. I’ll also make sure I consider what I say and how it may impact others.
                            Of course, even though nobody has to support someone else in chat and moderators don't frown upon people who don't, coming to chat with that open mind and willingness to engage with the whole group is something everyone agrees to before entering. Although mods are there to help make sure as many people get supported as possible, Support Chats do rely on you folks talking to each other more than moderators.

                            I hope that makes sense, but happy to continue this conversation via PM if anyone would like to.

                            Mike
                            We're Aife & Mike: the staff team here at The Mix.
                            If you have any questions about this place, feel free to
                            ask over in the
                            Help Desk or send us a private message.

                            Comment

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