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Expert chat: Enthusiastic Consent & Conditional Consent (Wed 21st February)

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On Wednesday 21st Feb at 6.30pm, Sarah our expert, will be running an expert chat about Enthusiastic Consent and Conditional Consent.

Sarah is the co-founder of Scarlet Ladies, a community of women with the aim to destigmatise and normalise the conversation around female sexuality.

Suffering from post traumatic stress disorder after experiencing a number of traumas, including rape, Sarah is reclaiming her body by engaging in bodybuilding and powerlifting. Taking back control of her sexuality, she is currently remaining abstinent. Working and campaigning with other women for the sexual empowerment of women has been an integral part of her healing journey.


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Post of The Month

One-in-a-million is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Just a bit of fun here if you could create an advent calendar what would you put in it and why.

For me you would still get chocolate 😆😆
But inside each door is a task for the day. Something that includes you helping/talking to others, doing something festive and spreading Christmas cheer
For example

1. Tell your parents/carers you love them
2. Say hello when passing an OAP (that might be the only thing someone says to them all week)
3. Watch a Christmas movie
4. Help someone in need e.g put some spare change in a charity box, buy a warm drink for the homeless person who sits on the corner, dothe washing up ha ha ha😂
5 make hot chocolate
6. Visit your grandparents (if you donít already) They will more than likely love to see you.
7. Sing a Christmas song with a friend
8. Dress up in something Christmasy when you do your shopping.

You get the idea 😂😉 my reason for this is to get people in the mood and understand what Christmas actually means.

What would yours have and why."
(Click for full post )
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Traveling

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  • Traveling

    Hey everyone!!

    In January I am going traveling to Thailand and Bali for 2 months. I am going solo (very scared) and meeting people out there in a tour group kind of thing.
    It will be my first time abroad ever (Apart from France for a week in July which was my first time out the Uk). It is also my first time on a plane and I really donít know what I am doing or what to expect.

    I am super excited to be going away but very nervous about traveling at the same time.
    My dad was meant to drive me to the airport but now he needs an operation and I have a feeling that it will be around the time I am leaving so I may also be needing to get myself to London from Cornwall too which is adding extra stress to this!

    I was wondering if anyone has any advice about traveling that they would be able to share to help me?

    Esme x
    Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations

  • #2
    Hey Esme
    I remember my first time on a plane, I was terrified, but once i got there is wasn't that bad, they basically tell you everything you need to know. If you are unsure of something, just ask

    something my colleague said to me a few weeks ago when i was worried about traveling.. 'take some cosy socks and a squishy pillow and a Nintendo ds' so I don't have a Nintendo but downloaded some games on my phone to keep me distracted, also took my 'comfort blanket' (yes I'm 22 but who cares haha) it makes me feel safe.. can you take something with you that makes you feel safe?
    'My worst days in recovery are better than the best days in relapse.' - Kate Le Page

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    • #3
      Hiya

      Haha i will literally be asking someone where i need to be every 10 seconds because im going to get so lost at the airports!! I am definitely getting games on my phone to hopefully stop me getting bored and my teddy is also going to be coming with me and i dont care what looks i get about it.
      Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations

      Comment


      • #4
        Who cares what others think lol. I doubt you'll get lost, there's always people around to help. Would it be helpful to go to the airport you're travelling from before hand? So you could have a look around and see where to go? I know its a fair bit away but if your in London before then it might help put your mind at rest
        'My worst days in recovery are better than the best days in relapse.' - Kate Le Page

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        • #5
          Yeah I would find it helpful I think but my dad is going to be driving me up in the morning of the day Iím flying because my flight isnít until about 8:30pm and because itís so far away from is (about an 8 hour drive) itís too far to just go up to look around. He is getting me there earlier though so I can have more time to go through things which I hope will be helpful.

          I should be okay. I tend to overthink and panic about the smallest of things so I will always think the worst
          Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations

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          • #6
            Always remember one thing - there are good people and there are bad people in this world. It is only if you travel places and gather experience, you'll be able to deal with your life better as well as with people. For the first time, believe in your instincts. If you are not feeling right about something just don't do it. Thailand is a nice place but always behave as though you have your family with you. Enjoy your trip and wish speedy recovery to your father.

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            • #7
              Hey Esme!

              Oooh, I've always wanted to go travelling too! I just wanna see the world outside my own, but money and my anxieties have always stopped me. But mainly money 😂

              The furthest from home I've travelled alone is Cornwall (which is like an 8 hour train journey from mine eeek) but it was definately worth it and I don't know where to go next!

              I always take a few sweets with me, and my phone because I miss my dogs and have to video call them, but I'd take them with me if I could

              Hope the travelling is amazing, let us know how it goes!

              Aidan *insert fabulous rainbow here*
              Tough times never last, but tough people do

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              • #8
                Travel sweets and ginger nuts!🙂
                I dont want a signature.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hi @Esme17

                  Wow, Thailand and Bali! But I have a couple of suggestions you must be sure about doing before you go to the airport, the first being taking precribed medicines.

                  Any prescribed medicines must be listed on your repeat prescriptions form that your doctor precribes for you, in particular painkillers and prescribed Class A drugs, ie. Morphine tablets or in oral form for example, also BuTrans transdermal patches that contain a morphine derivative used as a powerful analgesic. Please note I am not saying or suggesting that you are prescribed such or any Class A meds, but it is imperitive that they are listed as per your doctor and also any such if in liquid form are carried with you onboard and NOT in your luggage. Any liquid painkillers must be put into a Ziplock-type clear polythene bag, also carried with you in your Onboard Carry. Thailand as you may know have stringent laws regarding Class A meds including I believe, the painkiller Tramadol. My mother has prescribed Class A's which she carries accordingly to my hawk eye as she has osteoarthritis

                  Check your onboard baggage size allowance. Some airlines such as EasyJet have a restriction on luggage weight and also Carry-on though Carry-on may not be weight restricted. If the overhead compartment in the plane is full then your onboard carry-on may have to go under your seat if the plane is full, or the cabin steward may put it down in the hold. This will NOT apply to medicines.

                  If you have a disability (I'm no way suggesting you have), airlines have Special Assistance where a member of the airport staff will accompany you to the aircraft and you get priority boarding. The cabin stewards are specially trained to help passengers who find flying difficult. Mum was greatly helped when once she flew alone back hom to Majorca. Ia slo warned Mum not to put her Insulin in her baggage as that must be put into her Carry-on bag

                  Regarding Bali, presently the country's airports have had to cancel outgoing and incoming flights because it has a huge ass volcano threatening to erupt. In which case you must check if your flight on to Bali will be delayed to any extent. Or even cancelled.

                  Always carry extra meds to your holiday in case your flight home is delayed. You are going for 2 months? I suggest as a precaution you take 3 months' worth of meds.

                  Returning to Special Assistance, at Check-In tell the clerk if you need it, and they will be only too glad to help. Don't worry, every day they have travellers needing Special Assistance. Get to your airport in good time. Follow your airline's instructions about how long you have to be at the airport before Check-In is called.

                  I'm well travelled. Happy travels, stay safe and have a whale of a time!

                  Julie

                  ETA 2, My partner's just come home and said 'Nothing is going into Bali at present because of that volcano'.
                  Last edited by Princesa; 29-11-2017, 05:19 PM.
                  The greatest female power is empathy to create relationships on a personal level. It's better for a woman to come across as more nurturing, more warm, and that is going to lend more success to her than for a man doing the same thing.

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                  • #10
                    Thanks Princesa thats really helpful!!

                    The volcano is super scary! im not in Bali until Feb though so im hoping it sorts out a bit by then haha.
                    Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Just keep watch on the Bali volcano news, @Esme17 and see how things pan out.
                      The greatest female power is empathy to create relationships on a personal level. It's better for a woman to come across as more nurturing, more warm, and that is going to lend more success to her than for a man doing the same thing.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hi @Esme17

                        You are brave to travel alone, but Jules gave you great advice though once you meet your fellow travellers, I'm sure you'll quickly make friends! However, once in Thailand you must listen to your group leader's advice about Bali's volcano stauts on Mount Agung. I checked to read that the volcano continues to rumble ominously.

                        Here is Mount Agung's Indonesian website for vital info that may update any time. http://www.indonesia.travel/gb/en/agung/Mt-agung-status


                        "Seconds of your life are ticking away. If someone says that there's a rule - break it! That's the only thing that moves things forward."
                        -Hans Zimmer.

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                        • #13
                          Hi Esme17

                          Mirabelle is right, you are so brave to be doing this, and you should be proud of that, it'll definitely be an amazing experience! I agree that you should be open to making friends as I'm sure everyone else will be just as keen to do so as you. I would also make sure you go in as open minded as possible to try and get as much out of the experience as possible, and I'd definitely do my research too though I'm sure that you will.

                          Also, don't worry if things don't go to plan the whole time you are there, this will only give you more opportunities to learn and experience things. Most importantly I would just enjoy it, it'll be brilliant, and I hope it goes well!

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                          • #14
                            Thanks Rachel

                            Itís less than three weeks now! Iím super excited to leave and slightly scared about it too. Really looking forward to all the new friends I will meet out there and the experiences I will have
                            Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations

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                            • #15
                              Hi Esme17!

                              You'll find that people are generally very nice! I'm sure that others will feel nerves as well, so you're not alone!

                              Remember to look after your possessions, especially your passport, travel ticket and money.

                              Do your research on the place beforehand - what kind of clothes will you need for the weather, what can you go and see out there etc?

                              Most importantly though, remember to have a good time! You're in a new world of rich culture and heritage with a group of wonderful people, so take the opportunity!x

                              Much love <3

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