Essential support for under 25s



Post of The Month

Jellyelephant is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Hey Abi,

Please don't be sorry. Have you ever heard of the phrase "You can't pour from an empty cup"? I feel like this applies here. You need to look after yourself before you can start caring for other people. I know you know all about self care so I won't go on, but try and practise it a little, the way you encourage others to. It's great that you have other skills too, I know music is one of your passions in life and hopefully by studying it that can help you get to where you want to be. Take all the time you need, you don't have to support people in SC all of the time - chat is there to support you too when you are going through difficult times.

Take care of yourself

Jelly x"
(Click for full post )
See more
See less

The Belle Diaries: My Book of Days

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    Tonight my cousin asked me which version beach rod I have, how long have I had it and how far can I cast? Funnily enough this same evening a friend asked the same. Well, it's a Century Eliminator T1000 made from a composite of resin and graphene and it cost me 560. It was money well spent seeing its RRP is 650. It's very light in weight due to the graphene structure which has been used in Formula One. My Century T1000's material is extremely tough, the graphene itself is 200x stronger than high grade steel. Yet, I can easily cast 150 metres and my rod is just so sweet to handle, such a pleasure because it gives excellent feedback and transmits the thuds of fighting fish be it over rocks, reefs, boulers or just a plain old shingled beach near where we live. The rod is absolutely fantastic in rough seas as is its reel. It's a dream to use! It can reach up to 30,000 revs in no time. And the multiplier? It's a Daiwa Millionaire 7HT Super Mag (tuned magnetic break) and cost 350 from my savings.

    To give you guys an idea as to what the rod looks like and in use, I found a guy's tournament casting video which shows the same casting style I use...after some 40 seconds past (Steve's) talk, you will see his casting style in some great shooting angles and lovely low light photography.

    Hope you enjoy.

    And what is Graphene, exactly? You'll be amazed!

    If I'm not busking or doing a concert, you'll find me on the beach or in our kitchen But - being outdoors is wonderful because all I need is very little and my dog. I'm a simple girl who loves simple things. Give me beach fishing any time to being tied to a computer!

    Happy New Year! Let us go forward. One day at a time.

    It's all we need.

    "Seconds of your life are ticking away. If someone says that there's a rule - break it! That's the only thing that moves things forward."
    -Hans Zimmer.


    • #17
      I am happy to say that last year, my aunt Wendi was given permission from my mother to apply for adoption of me, my cousin Flora and Jules. In the event of her death, we three would have a mum, and what a wonderful person Wendi is! I am joyful because she is so cool and knowledgeable about life in addition to being an academic with a doctorate in British History and so much more.

      I thought I knew my mother well, but during the last two to three days I now have a totally different view. Since her death, my mother has become to be a stranger to me. And a very unpleasant woman she was in private. After her funeral we went to see her lawyer who informed us of leaving me a grand 8 bedroomed 18th century Grade II listed country house she had owned for over a decade, in addition to other things. That day was to become a revelation. The next day, even more and it's been traumatic for me.

      We were warmly met by Connie, my late mother's housekeeper, and led into a large hall. All the walls were panelled in what looked like mahogany and fixed to them were brass lamps lighting oil paintings. I recognised some were by the fine art maritime painter Roger Desoutter, all were very valuable including others. Antique furniture graced the hall including an imposing marble topped ornate Louis Quinze circular table with gilded legs. A large china bowl containing scented hyacinths was set in the centre of the table. I breathed in the beeswax polish and lilac and laughed nervously. My goodness, what is this place? Above us fixed to the high plaster decorative ceiling was a large bronze hexagonal hall lantern which Wendi later said was French, rare and undoubtedly very expensive.

      To one side of this vast hall was a sweeping carpeted staircase, the like of which one would have seen in a Hollywood movie. We were ushered into the lounge where the same panelled wood continued with paintings. Rooms led off all the way down. A red fire extinguisher was fixed to wall down by the polished oak wide floorboards.

      Connie led us into the lounge. Inside were several beautiful pieces of furniture. Positioned in a circle opposite a massive cosy, log lit wood stove was a big wide sofa. I chose the pale blue circular chair and sighed. It was so comfortable. Aunty instantly recognised the furniture. She said it was made by Howard & Sons, furniture makers to the Queen and also Gillow, a firm who upholstered their fine furniture. She said all of the furnishings were worth thousands. I could believe it. I sat and marvelled at the opulence of this country house, a grand looking home that my mother never even gave hint of.

      I felt shocked. Mother was very secretive. I didn't know she even had a housekeeper, let alone this high stone walled private estate and sprawling grounds of finely clipped box hedges and the drive up to the house lined by a pair of tall grand looking Lebanese cedars which would be smelling beautifully come the spring. After enjoying the best pot of tea of my life, we went up those beautiful stairs to the rooms, and found my mother's bedroom. I could not bring myself to touch anything, so Wendi went ahead, starting with the bedside cabinets. On opening the top drawer she gasped.

      "Gosh, what has she got here?" Wendi lifted out a sealed, double wrapped clear plastic bag containing what looked like talc and another that contained something darker. She paled and sat suddenly on my mother's bed. "Seems your mum had a drug habit!"

      I could hardly believe my late mother was a doper. What had been found was a large stash of illegal substances. I was appalled. To think she had wasted thousands on these drugs, but never said. Wendi took the substances downstairs and put the stash into the wood stove, closing its cast iron doors and securing them.

      Also, Wendi found a journal that belonged to my mother, one of many found. In it she had written about her activities with my sister Mandy. It was absolutely ghastly, but I had to read it. I had to read it to get a grip on the reality of what my mother, now a monster, had really been. I wept. For poor Mandy and myself, equally damaged. It took me a long time before I could even talk. Wendi and Connie comforted me.

      Needing to go somewhere different, I decided to see what the kitchen looked like. My favourite place. I wasn't disappointed. The kitchen was just - WOW! It housed the same La Cornue stove, this time their biggest version. I had to sit down at the table in this beautiful place because my legs suddenly felt weak. If ever there was a kitchen to love, wood panelled, too - and be in total awe of, this place of food and loveliness would lure me here all of its unique own. I decided I was going to be coming here more often. This country house was fit for a rock star, or some landed gentry. It must be worth a lot, not that I have any intention of selling it. Oh yes, this beautiful place had a presence all of its own alright, and I have become its owner along with my beloved aunt.

      I remained stunned at what my mother was. And what did to me and Mandy, the calculated vicious nastiness that our twisted horrible mother had dealt. It may be a long time before I see my sister again. I hope she will find a way of coping, but she is in good hands and living in France. Mandy will find a new life there, and me? Oh, I forgive her for all that she was towards me.

      Mother was a cruel woman, too, but her actions cannot be told here, except she gave away her golden retriever puppies to a dog's home. I never got the opportunity to have them. Strange she came to adopt me, yet lived a completely different lifstyle that nobody knew or even had a clue of. I may never understand why.
      "Seconds of your life are ticking away. If someone says that there's a rule - break it! That's the only thing that moves things forward."
      -Hans Zimmer.


      • #18
        Needing some extra money, this afternoon I braved the cold weather and went busking in town. I set up at a favoured place beneath an archway, for its ancient Gothic brickwork amplifies my singing and playing, so I didn't need to bring alone my usual heavy gear such as my Fender amp and battery pack. The town wasn't busy, but I managed to earn 37.80 which wasn't bad. What made my day though, was an attractive looking lady stopping to ask if I would be interested in teaching her daughter how to play her acoustic guitar. How lovely was that? Thanking (Jan), I said I would be delighted, but she ought to ask my mum first, so we swapped phone numbers and email addresses. This evening she phoned Wendi to meet us with her 17 year old daughter Isla. Better still, they will be coming to see us at our country house tomorrow, for it will be cosier there and we can go to our music room with mugs of tea and be without our phones for a change.

        Isla's Chinese budget guitar would no way be my first choice for any beginner, but I'm going to loan her my Taylor Koa because she may as well start right and its sound is just - wow! Her mother bought her a 12 string, but I'd have started with a 6, but apparently Isla has made good progress until her guitar teacher went sick and stopped contact. Oh dear, that is just not what anyone relatively new to learning would welcome, but I'm going to spend time with this sweet shy girl while Wendi and Jules can entertain her mum. Let's hope she doesn't mind our long eared owl and I'm hoping he doesn't start bobbing his head and shifting from foot to foot. Dumpty is such curious bird.

        This evening's telly was not up to much, apart from Rick Swine's French Odyssey whose book we have and whose recipes are outstanding. Following on from that prog, I neared the end of Marcel Proust's magnificent book, In the Shadow of Young Girls in Flower (In Search of Lost Time, Volume 2), and what a very lovely novel it's been. Next from our home library's shelves will be Proust's 3rd volume, The Guermantes Way. I've read a few of this awesome French author, but wished I'd started these seven novels from the outset.

        Goodnight! Tomorrow is a brand new day. Live it the best as you can.
        "Seconds of your life are ticking away. If someone says that there's a rule - break it! That's the only thing that moves things forward."
        -Hans Zimmer.


        Hide this page

        Local Advice Finder

        Find local services

        The Mix. Registered charity number: 1048995