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Expert chat: Enthusiastic Consent & Conditional Consent (Wed 21st February)

Hey everyone!

On Wednesday 21st Feb at 6.30pm, Sarah our expert, will be running an expert chat about Enthusiastic Consent and Conditional Consent.

Sarah is the co-founder of Scarlet Ladies, a community of women with the aim to destigmatise and normalise the conversation around female sexuality.

Suffering from post traumatic stress disorder after experiencing a number of traumas, including rape, Sarah is reclaiming her body by engaging in bodybuilding and powerlifting. Taking back control of her sexuality, she is currently remaining abstinent. Working and campaigning with other women for the sexual empowerment of women has been an integral part of her healing journey.

Come along and join us! Find out more here
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Vanilla features: have your say

As we move to our new boards software, Vanilla, we'll have a few new features at our disposal. We're keen to hear what you all think about them, so head here to have your say over how we'll use (or not use) some of the new features. Fill out the form before Wednesday the 21st to tell us your thoughts and have the option of joining our testing team!
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The Great Boards Migration

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Post of The Month

One-in-a-million is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Just a bit of fun here if you could create an advent calendar what would you put in it and why.

For me you would still get chocolate 😆😆
But inside each door is a task for the day. Something that includes you helping/talking to others, doing something festive and spreading Christmas cheer
For example

1. Tell your parents/carers you love them
2. Say hello when passing an OAP (that might be the only thing someone says to them all week)
3. Watch a Christmas movie
4. Help someone in need e.g put some spare change in a charity box, buy a warm drink for the homeless person who sits on the corner, dothe washing up ha ha ha😂
5 make hot chocolate
6. Visit your grandparents (if you donít already) They will more than likely love to see you.
7. Sing a Christmas song with a friend
8. Dress up in something Christmasy when you do your shopping.

You get the idea 😂😉 my reason for this is to get people in the mood and understand what Christmas actually means.

What would yours have and why."
(Click for full post )
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Alcohol and coke

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  • Alcohol and coke

    First time poster on here ,

    Just want to get people's advice , every time I drink alcohol I end up taking cocaine it's as if alcohol is not enough , I'm bored of it without cocaine .

    What's the best way to try and avoid it , all my mates are the same they drink and take it too, I'm getting to the stage now I want to be past all of it and I'm worrying about the long term effects , I've been taking coke since I was 20 now 26 I don't do it every weekend but 9 times out of 10 when I drink I'll take coke

  • #2
    I dont have advice. Sorry. But just taking less of the coke each time until your just taking alcohol.? I know they may have good affects together but are very dangerous together. Im not sure about drugs. But I had friends who did this and some how they stopped and only drink alcohol now
    "Recovery is my best revenge" - Carolyn Spring "Let your past make you better not bitter" - Unknown


    • #3
      (Long Post - Sorry about that)
      Hey Datar, I'm going to take a few quotes from informtion found on the website (here)

      This will just be information and not about stopping, Ill try and give some advice on stopping after the quote.

      First is if you should mix Alcohol and Cocaine
      Nope. Mixing cocaine with alcohol is dangerous because together they make something called Ďcocaethyleneí in your liver. This can make your heart beat irregular, cause a heart attack, fits, and even sudden death. Drinking alcohol even 12 hours after taking coke can do this.
      Second, is how to reduce risks if you do decide to take coke.
      • Do it with people you trust. Avoid using cocaine alone and never do it behind locked doors, so help can get to you if something goes wrong.
      • Donít inject. It makes an overdose more likely and makes it so much more addictive, too. Plus, if the cocaine isnít pure, you can be injecting potentially fatal nasties right into your blood stream.
      • Decide how much youíre going to take and DONíT go over what you decide. This will help your bank balance, and your likelihood of getting hardcore-addicted.
      • Donít take cocaine if you have high blood pressure or a heart condition.
      • Coke can make you horny, so donít forget your condoms folks.
      Talk to Frank is an awesome website for information and help alike, you can email them asking for advice, but they also have a link for help services near-ish to where you are:

      This may sound abit clichť but just telling us here that its a problem is a big step, and stopping may take a lot of time, but I believe you can do it!

      A way to reduce the chances of you taking coke is, instead of say (guessing) going out every weekend and taking it, go out every other weekend. This will be hard if there is alot of peer pressure, but ultimately its for your own health. The other options are what ellaleftwonderland said and to find things that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol. We're it be an old passion or a new one, since rather then getting a high from drugs, you can get another type of high from something either physical, or even just playing games and being with friends.

      The other way is to do what Shaunie said and to take things in small dosages, rather then taking 1 grams you take .5 grams. and then eventually you will be able to cut it out completely.

      It will take alot of will power to become clean, but will be alot better for your health. I would like to note that its possible to relapse for any number of reasons, and you shouldn't beat yourself up over it, as it happens to alot of people and its quite common for ex drug users.
      My hobby is bot busting ^_^


      • #4
        I think both are totally dangerous, best way to reduce the chances of you taking coke is, instead of say (guessing) going out every weekend and taking it, go out every other weekend.


        • #5
          So lets talk a little bit of psychology here...the cycle of addiction for stimulants generally looks a little like this:
          want to have a good time (eg at a party) -> take stimulants (cocaine) -> get high -> effect wears away -> bored, and repeat.

          I say cycle because...there's no way out (at least not without help & effort)! Not that you are definitely addicted, but i'm presenting this because I think it definitely applies to you on a night out. If you always take coke when you drink, then i would have to ask, why do you drink? From a purely & very narrow chemical view, alcohol doesn't make you happier/more excited (it's a depressant!) but as it's usually associated with fun and active situations, one may think it's a good time drink.

          Mixing any two drugs together is dangerous, but especially cocaine and alcohol...would it be possible for you to only take cocaine and not drink alcohol in these times? I ask this mostly because it's safer, and partly because i'd be interested to know if that's feasible for you...because if you only want fun, just cocaine will do fine. Ideally, no cocaine is an ideal outcome, but this would be a good step towards it.

          If it's just something you connect to drinking (so the thought is "i should do cocaine because i am drinking" as opposed to "i should do cocaine because i am bored (and also happen to be drinking)") then that might be a little easier to help with,

          If you wish to be able to drink on a night out without taking cocaine, this may seem harsh something else that's fun. Get a hobby! Be it a sport (even if it's something like bowls), video game, book club, whatever you want to do..just do it! The money you save on not drinking can go towards hobbies instead even if they happen to be costly interests.
          To me, it doesn't sound like fun if you need drugs to be able to enjoy it, and I think in those situations it's just best if you don't do it...also if your friendships rely on drugs to connect with each other, they also don't sound like good friendships- again not assuming, just covering all bases, i would hope you can enjoy times with your friends on weekdays//without drugs too! And if you might feel left out to not join them - again, it's not fun, just don't join them, don't make yourself suffer to upkeep friendships when there will always be other friends out there (even if you haven't met them yet) who won't do drugs on the weekends.

          If you struggle with just dropping it, and infact DO have an addiction to any extent...firstly, look up local services. I'm talking incredibly local - exclusive to your nearest city kind of local, you may live in a town where some sort of recovery community is set up! I can't help much with finding them but I can suggest to you a service which may help-
          If you're willing to reveal it, theres a few wide area charities i can suggest based on your county, otherwise - see if any of the services under the "Our Partners" banner cover your area! I live in W Midlands so i only know about Aquarius in detail myself! Otherwise though:
 - the whole frank website is good, but i've specifically linked this page (even though Rhys beat me to it, hah!) because it's excellent and very accurate!
          Last edited by FeatheredDreams; 18-11-2017, 03:26 AM.
          Why didn't you just shout i'm lonely and i'm looking for a place to go ~ Where everything's an embrace and everybody wants to know


          • #6
            Hey guys, thanks for the input, however I'm going to close this thread due to it originally being posted in April and I feel it would be better to create a new thread then continue this one.
            My hobby is bot busting ^_^


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