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Post of The Month

Jellyelephant is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Hey Abi,

Please don't be sorry. Have you ever heard of the phrase "You can't pour from an empty cup"? I feel like this applies here. You need to look after yourself before you can start caring for other people. I know you know all about self care so I won't go on, but try and practise it a little, the way you encourage others to. It's great that you have other skills too, I know music is one of your passions in life and hopefully by studying it that can help you get to where you want to be. Take all the time you need, you don't have to support people in SC all of the time - chat is there to support you too when you are going through difficult times.

Take care of yourself

Jelly x"
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Not coming out

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  • Not coming out

    This is difficult for me to talk about, but I am bisexual. While I was away at uni I had relationships with both men and women, and I realised I am attracted to both. I felt more able to be myself in a city where nobody knew me. Now I am back living with my mum and around my family I am finding it stressful hiding who I am from everyone. I pretend to be straight everywehre I go, I feel ashamed. My old best friend from where I used to live asked me to be together with her, but I said no because it wouldn't be fair to her, I am still in the closet and it would have to be a secret. I am tired of hiding who i am, but I am too ashamed to come out to my family.

    Should I come out? Should I stay in the closet forever and just try and find a man I like? I dont know. What would you guys do? Is anyone else in the same position?

  • #2
    Hiya Jelly!

    It was mighty brave of you to share your sexual orientation with us, for it must be so hard for you because of the dilemma you're in - whether or not to come out. Sooner or later though I'll tell you, your parents will find out, but living a secret life is only going to become a strain, and it could snowball. So I say return to your 'old best friend' and ask her to give you time, but also to help you through these difficult decisions. Since she is your best friend, then she will help you because that's the greatest thing about best friends. She could be what you want in your life, but that means committment and trust from both sides. I say this because I am in a rock steady relationship, though it has not been an easy life for her and for me.

    The Mix has an excellent article about coming out, here: http://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-rel...-out-3741.html

    When I came out as a lesbian last year, most of my family were good. Most people I know now are cool and accepting, and I think this is because there is a general acceptance for gays and bisexuals in my area of the UK, unless people are raving fundamentalist Christians. My friends Sofia and Valentina who came to stay recently from Palma were appalled and their remarks hurt and stung. I no longer see them as friends and anyway, they went home. Fair enough, they have their lives and I have mine. But I have never been happier for coming out.

    You only have one life to live. So live it the way you want, but never be bullied into silence. Make this new year something to be awesome. Because I live by my signature.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Belle xx


    "Seconds of your life are ticking away. If someone says that there's a rule - break it! That's the only thing that moves things forward."
    -Hans Zimmer.

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