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Expert chat: Enthusiastic Consent & Conditional Consent (Wed 21st February)

Hey everyone!

On Wednesday 21st Feb at 6.30pm, Sarah our expert, will be running an expert chat about Enthusiastic Consent and Conditional Consent.

Sarah is the co-founder of Scarlet Ladies, a community of women with the aim to destigmatise and normalise the conversation around female sexuality.

Suffering from post traumatic stress disorder after experiencing a number of traumas, including rape, Sarah is reclaiming her body by engaging in bodybuilding and powerlifting. Taking back control of her sexuality, she is currently remaining abstinent. Working and campaigning with other women for the sexual empowerment of women has been an integral part of her healing journey.


Come along and join us! Find out more here
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Vanilla features: have your say

As we move to our new boards software, Vanilla, we'll have a few new features at our disposal. We're keen to hear what you all think about them, so head here to have your say over how we'll use (or not use) some of the new features. Fill out the form before Wednesday the 21st to tell us your thoughts and have the option of joining our testing team!
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The Great Boards Migration

Great news! We're moving to new discussion boards software. Head here for the full announcement.
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Post of The Month

One-in-a-million is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Just a bit of fun here if you could create an advent calendar what would you put in it and why.

For me you would still get chocolate 😆😆
But inside each door is a task for the day. Something that includes you helping/talking to others, doing something festive and spreading Christmas cheer
For example

1. Tell your parents/carers you love them
2. Say hello when passing an OAP (that might be the only thing someone says to them all week)
3. Watch a Christmas movie
4. Help someone in need e.g put some spare change in a charity box, buy a warm drink for the homeless person who sits on the corner, dothe washing up ha ha ha😂
5 make hot chocolate
6. Visit your grandparents (if you donít already) They will more than likely love to see you.
7. Sing a Christmas song with a friend
8. Dress up in something Christmasy when you do your shopping.

You get the idea 😂😉 my reason for this is to get people in the mood and understand what Christmas actually means.

What would yours have and why."
(Click for full post )
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Trans stuff (CW: Anxiety)

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  • Trans stuff (CW: Anxiety)

    so uhh I have extreme anxiety over everything. Theoretically nothing is stopping me from coming my out but wow thats anxiety inducing. I feel pretty dysphoric quite often and usually present as female while online and usually feel much happier when people use sher/her pronouns or other feminine language(ok I loooove being called a good girl) to refer to me

  • #2
    Hey Hun, I'll offer some advice. Been there myself, but was found out and didn't get a choice. What's important is that you're happy with yourself. I'm happy being me now, but it was kinda hard. Anyway, are you happy how you are? This isn't something you should ever rush into. Thankfully being online offers alot of freedom for this; real life sadly is very different. As much as I would love to wear a dress all the time alot of people would be a dick about it. Thankfully I have an understanding partner now who likes seeing me in a dress; but that's a separate matter. Think about this: do you need to "come out"? Are you likely to consider hormones/gender reassignment? If so please, please think very hard about this. You will be making alot of sacrifices and compromises if you do. There's no reason you can't dress up and shave your body anyway, and keep it in good shape (I'm 30 my figure is 32-28-30). If you have understanding family at home, you can tell them - but there Probably isn't a need to tell the whole world. People can be horrible, and highly judgemental.

    I'm sure you're a lovely girl, and I wish you the best. Just remember, your happiness is the priority, not other people's. Let them live their ignorant little lives as they see fit, and enjoy yours.

    Running my rig in a mighty high gear,
    I don't care where I go, so long as it ain't here,
    If something gets in my way, you know I'm gonna ram her,
    Nobody fools around with this gear jammer.

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi ZeeZee hope you are doing well!

      @Teh_Gerbil has given you some great advice! It is all about you, your happiness and being comfortable. Both comfortable with who you want to be as well as being comfortable with who you talk to about it. It's your life and your time to find out who you are. Try not to pressure yourself too much with this and don't feel that you need to 'come out' if you don't want to.

      ​Are there any LGBT+ groups or centres around you that you could go to? I have been to many myself and now actually work at one. They are great ways to meet new people and find out more about yourself as well as others. There are so many ways that we can live and we shouldn't put ourselves in boxes. Unfortunately, many people still judge others and put them into boxes that fit in society. Sometimes it's because they don't understand or even have similar thoughts.

      That said, there are also so many people in the community that ignore these boxes and be who they are without any labels at all, it's up to you! Try to focus on exploring how you feel right now and get comfortable before worrying about everyone else.

      There are also some things you can do to help with anxiety. If it is quite serious, have you been to your GP about it at all? That's one option but you can also do calming things like listening to music, making art or exercising to get a hold of your emotions. I have even gone to a Yoga for Anxiety class which was awesome and so useful for everyday life. There are plenty of great tips here that may help: http://www.themix.org.uk/mental-heal...iety-5601.html

      ​Explore yourself, your options and remember that you can be whoever you want to be! From my experience, people will judge us no matter what, but you don't notice them if you're happy with yourself.

      I'm sure you're a lovely girl, and I wish you the best. Just remember, your happiness is the priority, not other people's. Let them live their ignorant little lives as they see fit, and enjoy yours.
      I couldn't agree more Teh_Gerbil

      -PositiveAura

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