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Expert chat: Enthusiastic Consent & Conditional Consent (Wed 21st February)

Hey everyone!

On Wednesday 21st Feb at 6.30pm, Sarah our expert, will be running an expert chat about Enthusiastic Consent and Conditional Consent.

Sarah is the co-founder of Scarlet Ladies, a community of women with the aim to destigmatise and normalise the conversation around female sexuality.

Suffering from post traumatic stress disorder after experiencing a number of traumas, including rape, Sarah is reclaiming her body by engaging in bodybuilding and powerlifting. Taking back control of her sexuality, she is currently remaining abstinent. Working and campaigning with other women for the sexual empowerment of women has been an integral part of her healing journey.


Come along and join us! Find out more here
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Vanilla features: have your say

As we move to our new boards software, Vanilla, we'll have a few new features at our disposal. We're keen to hear what you all think about them, so head here to have your say over how we'll use (or not use) some of the new features. Fill out the form before Wednesday the 21st to tell us your thoughts and have the option of joining our testing team!
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The Great Boards Migration

Great news! We're moving to new discussion boards software. Head here for the full announcement.
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Post of The Month

One-in-a-million is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Just a bit of fun here if you could create an advent calendar what would you put in it and why.

For me you would still get chocolate 😆😆
But inside each door is a task for the day. Something that includes you helping/talking to others, doing something festive and spreading Christmas cheer
For example

1. Tell your parents/carers you love them
2. Say hello when passing an OAP (that might be the only thing someone says to them all week)
3. Watch a Christmas movie
4. Help someone in need e.g put some spare change in a charity box, buy a warm drink for the homeless person who sits on the corner, dothe washing up ha ha ha😂
5 make hot chocolate
6. Visit your grandparents (if you donít already) They will more than likely love to see you.
7. Sing a Christmas song with a friend
8. Dress up in something Christmasy when you do your shopping.

You get the idea 😂😉 my reason for this is to get people in the mood and understand what Christmas actually means.

What would yours have and why."
(Click for full post )
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I feel like I'm disappearing

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  • I feel like I'm disappearing

    This probably sounds really stupid but for about a year now I've felt like this and nothing I do seems to fix it. I feel like everything is really far away from me, or maybe I'm disappearing. I don't feel interested in life anymore and I even have to remind myself to eat and shower and I don't really feel like talking to people or leaving my room most days. It's a really horrible feeling like someone came in and turned the sound off on life and everything seems so pointless and like it doesn't matter. I used to be full of ideas about what I wanted to do but now the closer the future gets the more everything just seems like it will stop and I honestly can't imagine myself with any sort of future.
    I used to reach out to people but now I feel like there is no point. No one can do anything and very few people even notice or care if I don't leave my room for 2 weeks. Trying to talk to my family has no effect since they either sweep it under the rug or turn it into a shouting match. I don't want to disappear, I want to have a life but a lot of the time now I think about killing myself. Please help.

  • #2
    Hi UnsafetyDancer (cool username btw)

    Firstly, let me welcome you to TheSite.

    Sounds like your gonna through a bit of a tough time.

    Please check out our links in the mental health section. It might give help give you some insight into some of the feelings you've been talking about.

    I know you said it feels like you have no one to talk to. If you feel like you need someone to talk to or hear a friendly voice have you ever tried contacting Support Line? They offer Confidential and emotional support on the telephone for children, young adults and adults.

    You can check out mire info on them below. Let us know how you get on and keep posting. There is always someone here when need to offload.

    Web: www.supportline.org.uk
    Tel: 020 8554 9004
    Email: info@supportline.org.uk

    Phil

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    • #3
      Hey thanks for that.

      I guess that a large part of my problem is that in the past the people I have been to see haven't been very helpful. I dunno if there is a language that you have to speak to health professionals in to make your concerns be taken seriously but it's very frustrating and annoying. After about 4 years of trying to seek help on and off I feel very reluctant to reach out. I feel like I'm being treated like someone too young to know her own mind and it's very hard to convince people that life just isn't working the way it is right now.

      Comment


      • #4
        Hey there

        Sorry to hear you've not had much luck with talking to health professionals about your feelings. It can take a lot of guts to tell someone about the feelings you've been having and it's understandable to feel frustrated if you don't feel you've been taken seriously. Unfortunately sometimes mental health issues aren't as well-understood as they should be, but try not to let a bad experience put you off seeking the help you deserve.

        Was it a GP you spoke to about your feelings? What happened to make you feel so frustrated? If it was your doctor you had a bad experience with, this article about alternatives to GPs may be useful.

        Did you try calling Supportline like phil01 suggested?

        The good news is you have TheSite.org here to talk to whenever you feel low. Feel free to keep posting to let us know how you're getting on.



        Holly

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        • #5
          I share that feeling of disappearing and getting more and more remote. It is a terrible space to be in, especially bc one can feel like itís terribiy lonely. And secondly, that youíre less and less engaged w life.

          It isnít merely depression. It stems from a disorganized attachment in early childhood and ptsd.

          Iím not a clinician and even if I were I️ wouldnít diagnonse you based on a self report.
          But the things you talked about are very similar to things that I have experienced. And it is very uncomfortable, I️ know.
          Thereís research going on in the uk. Itís research on depersonalization.
          Maybe look into that. But it isnít an ez cure. Iíll tell you that.
          Lexy

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          • #6
            Look into depersonalization. If sounds awfully like the symptoms to that.

            Comment


            • #7
              Hey Lexy2018, just to let you know you've managed to track down an old thread from 2011!
              "Truely independent person who doesn't do quotes, just dates".. (29.04.17)

              Comment


              • #8
                I share that feeling of disappearing and getting more and more remote. It is a terrible space to be in especially BC one can feel like itís terribly lonely.

                Comment

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