Essential support for under 25s


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Expert chat: Enthusiastic Consent & Conditional Consent (Wed 21st February)

Hey everyone!

On Wednesday 21st Feb at 6.30pm, Sarah our expert, will be running an expert chat about Enthusiastic Consent and Conditional Consent.

Sarah is the co-founder of Scarlet Ladies, a community of women with the aim to destigmatise and normalise the conversation around female sexuality.

Suffering from post traumatic stress disorder after experiencing a number of traumas, including rape, Sarah is reclaiming her body by engaging in bodybuilding and powerlifting. Taking back control of her sexuality, she is currently remaining abstinent. Working and campaigning with other women for the sexual empowerment of women has been an integral part of her healing journey.

Come along and join us! Find out more here
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Vanilla features: have your say

As we move to our new boards software, Vanilla, we'll have a few new features at our disposal. We're keen to hear what you all think about them, so head here to have your say over how we'll use (or not use) some of the new features. Fill out the form before Wednesday the 21st to tell us your thoughts and have the option of joining our testing team!
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The Great Boards Migration

Great news! We're moving to new discussion boards software. Head here for the full announcement.
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Post of The Month

One-in-a-million is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Just a bit of fun here if you could create an advent calendar what would you put in it and why.

For me you would still get chocolate 😆😆
But inside each door is a task for the day. Something that includes you helping/talking to others, doing something festive and spreading Christmas cheer
For example

1. Tell your parents/carers you love them
2. Say hello when passing an OAP (that might be the only thing someone says to them all week)
3. Watch a Christmas movie
4. Help someone in need e.g put some spare change in a charity box, buy a warm drink for the homeless person who sits on the corner, dothe washing up ha ha ha😂
5 make hot chocolate
6. Visit your grandparents (if you donít already) They will more than likely love to see you.
7. Sing a Christmas song with a friend
8. Dress up in something Christmasy when you do your shopping.

You get the idea 😂😉 my reason for this is to get people in the mood and understand what Christmas actually means.

What would yours have and why."
(Click for full post )
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Can't take it anymore.

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  • Can't take it anymore.

    So basically, I'm a 15 year old girl and people (complete strangers) are calling out to me in the street "excuse me, are you a boy or a girl" every single day. Now i don't think i particularly look like a boy, maybe it's because of my haircut, i don't know. But this is really badly upsetting me and I don't know what to do about it.
    Yesterday after school i broke down in anger and started throwing things around because i just can't stand living here anymore, can't stand living in this house with my parents who i can't talk to about these things and most of all i'm sick of going to school where i get bullied and walking home or even out in the streets on my own anymore because loads of people even bully me there about how i look i guess. my parents told me i was blowing it out of proportion and that i was being "very silly" but i can't help it. I ended up having a screaming match with my dad, he said some really hurtful things and i have just ruined everything and i am so full of pain and cannot stop crying and don't want to be alive even anymore what the hell do i do! i can't go outside because people will taunt me. i can't stay inside because i'll be clawing up the walls. I am taking a day off school as i type this because i am so worn down from all of this. And all because one person shouted "are you a boy or a girl" to me at my street.
    So, basically, i need advice on
    1) how to deal with anger
    2) MOST IMPORTANTLY how do i let these comments from people not affect me so much
    if anyone could help that would be great because i am just SO depressed!
    "If they think that an artist can destroy their faith, then their faith is rather fragile." - Marilyn Manson.

  • #2
    Hey xHeartGirlx

    I'm really sorry to hear about what's been going on, and that you haven't found much support at home. It must be difficult when your dad tells you that you're being "very silly" when it's really affecting you so much.

    You talk about being bullied at school - are these the same people who are shouting out to you in the street? Being bullied is a really serious thing and it can have a huge impact on your life, so it's good that you're reaching out for help.

    I wanted to let you know about a great site that might help you deal with the bullying - it's called Cybermentors and it's run by BeatBullying. You can get help by talking to a mentor, contacting a counsellor or going in to their support lounge, which is a bit like these forums, but more geared towards bullying.

    I'm sure others will chip in to add their advice on your situation too, but wanted to let you know about CM in case you think it could help.

    Take care
    "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." Ernest Hemmingway


    • #3
      Thanks for the link, I joined the website and it seems really cool .
      In reply to your question about whether or not they are the same people, they aren't. This seems to be causing quite a bit of confusion amongst my parents: there are mean people in school who have always been mean but I don't really care about them so much. It's just the random people in the street when I'm out and about/walking home who I don't even know and they've never seen me before either I just guess they feel like having a laugh at a stranger's expense.
      The thought of someone saying it to me again, which I know they inevitably will, is making me scared to go out .
      "If they think that an artist can destroy their faith, then their faith is rather fragile." - Marilyn Manson.


      • #4
        I'm sorry to hear that strangers are being so nasty to you I'm not surprised that it's making you feel a bit uneasy about going out, but there are ways you could cope with it. If it's happening at certain times or in certain places, either avoid those places altogether - or if that's not possible, try and make sure you are always with someone else at those times.

        I'm glad you joined Cybermentors - have you used it yet? I'm sure you'll find others on there who have experienced this and who can support you and understand what's going on.

        I'd also urge you to try and talk to your parents about this again and try to make them understand how much it's affecting you - perhaps you could print out this thread if you are finding it hard to verbalise your feelings?

        "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." Ernest Hemmingway


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