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Expert chat: Enthusiastic Consent & Conditional Consent (Wed 21st February)

Hey everyone!

On Wednesday 21st Feb at 6.30pm, Sarah our expert, will be running an expert chat about Enthusiastic Consent and Conditional Consent.

Sarah is the co-founder of Scarlet Ladies, a community of women with the aim to destigmatise and normalise the conversation around female sexuality.

Suffering from post traumatic stress disorder after experiencing a number of traumas, including rape, Sarah is reclaiming her body by engaging in bodybuilding and powerlifting. Taking back control of her sexuality, she is currently remaining abstinent. Working and campaigning with other women for the sexual empowerment of women has been an integral part of her healing journey.


Come along and join us! Find out more here
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Vanilla features: have your say

As we move to our new boards software, Vanilla, we'll have a few new features at our disposal. We're keen to hear what you all think about them, so head here to have your say over how we'll use (or not use) some of the new features. Fill out the form before Wednesday the 21st to tell us your thoughts and have the option of joining our testing team!
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The Great Boards Migration

Great news! We're moving to new discussion boards software. Head here for the full announcement.
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Post of The Month

One-in-a-million is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Just a bit of fun here if you could create an advent calendar what would you put in it and why.

For me you would still get chocolate 😆😆
But inside each door is a task for the day. Something that includes you helping/talking to others, doing something festive and spreading Christmas cheer
For example

1. Tell your parents/carers you love them
2. Say hello when passing an OAP (that might be the only thing someone says to them all week)
3. Watch a Christmas movie
4. Help someone in need e.g put some spare change in a charity box, buy a warm drink for the homeless person who sits on the corner, dothe washing up ha ha ha😂
5 make hot chocolate
6. Visit your grandparents (if you donít already) They will more than likely love to see you.
7. Sing a Christmas song with a friend
8. Dress up in something Christmasy when you do your shopping.

You get the idea 😂😉 my reason for this is to get people in the mood and understand what Christmas actually means.

What would yours have and why."
(Click for full post )
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Bulied at school

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  • Bulied at school

    Hi my name is Jason and I get bullied at school a lot by guys in my grade and in higher grades as well, some girls do as well but it’s mostly guys. It started when I was in grade 6 because I started doing stuff that I’m not supposed to do and now I do it every day and people at school know. I have tried to stop but I can’t because the bullying makes me do it even more but I don’t think it’s a reason to get bullied in the first place. It’s really unfair and it makes me feel bad a lot even though I pretend it doesn’t.

    One of the biggest bullies is a guy in grade 10 and he is always yelling stuff at me, pushing me and stealing my backpack and looking in it. Some days going to school is really hard because I just want to stay home but I’m not allowed and my parents think I am making it up. I never pick on anyone at school because I know how much it hurts but lots of people don’t care at all.

    Does anyone else get bullied because of the things they do and if you got the bullying to stop how did you?
    Last edited by Kathleen; 05-06-2017, 03:47 PM.

  • #2
    Hi Jason, bullying is not okay!!! Have you told any adults at school about it?
    Last edited by independent_; 04-05-2017, 11:56 AM.
    "Truely independent person who doesn't do quotes, just dates".. (29.04.17)

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    • #3
      Originally posted by independent_ View Post
      Hi Jason, bullying is not okay!!! Have you told any adults at school about it?
      yeah but they don't do anything about it

      Comment


      • #4
        I was bullied in primary school, I would be pushed over and all the kids would tell the teacher I fell over. Even the kids you'd think were nice wouldn't grass on the bullies because they were scared. Somebody got their big brother to choke me, and they did this outside of school on a field I used to play on. I just couldn't go there afterwards.

        I felt like I could never go to school, and could never leave the house. I must have pretended to be ill for literally about 1/3 of the time I was supposed to be in school, especially on sports day or when we had PE because I was fat and was always picked on for that. There were even rumours I was born in Burger King. Burger King became my name. I was picked on for being clever too, which I could never understand. At break or lunch or during maths I was always casually bombarded with orders to say 'according to my calculations' in some awful posh voice, which was just humiliating.

        This carried on until I started secondary school, because in secondary school the bullies usually move on to worse things like knife crime and drugs and burning people's houses, and a large amount of them were arrested. The rest actually got their act together, tried hard in class for once and ended up with decent grades. But one of my old bullies got zilch in their exams and ended up working in a local pizza takeaway, and I can't help but laugh when I see them working there. Karma haha. Proof that it does get better.

        I'll be honest, bullying is something that has shaped who I am. A nice person, but also a distant and quiet and sarcastic person. Oh, and depressed. I'll send my bullies the healthcare bill haha. I'm kidding, healthcare is free here, so I can't really moan about the NHS. I probably should have dealt with my bullies myself, but that's how you become the bully. You have to be the bigger person and suck it up, I guess. Especially if teachers/ parents/ police or whatever don't care. They never tell you that the teachers or parents can be the bigger bullies sometimes.
        Last edited by Aidan; 04-05-2017, 12:50 PM.
        Tough times never last, but tough people do

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        • #5
          Hi Jason.

          It's really sad to read this I can't say i understand how you feel to give you ways to cope but it must feel so so horrible
          The school should have some policy on this.
          It's heart breaking to know this still goes gone.
          But you have to know it is completely wrong and they are completely pathetic for doing it and youre very strong to be still going to school.
          "Recovery is my best revenge" - Carolyn Spring "Let your past make you better not bitter" - Unknown

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Shaunie View Post
            Hi Jason.

            It's really sad to read this I can't say i understand how you feel to give you ways to cope but it must feel so so horrible
            The school should have some policy on this.
            It's heart breaking to know this still goes gone.
            But you have to know it is completely wrong and they are completely pathetic for doing it and youre very strong to be still going to school.
            I'm not going to let them win

            Comment


            • #7
              Absolutely do not let them win! I agree with Shaunie, the school should have some policy on anti-bullying. I don't quite know how things work over in Australia though. Aidan is absolutely right too, be the bigger person! Don't show them it get's to you.
              "Truely independent person who doesn't do quotes, just dates".. (29.04.17)

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              • #8
                I have been ignoring the bullies at school and 1 of them has stopped but the others haven't. I don't think its fair to get bullied all the time just because of the stuff you do especially if its not hurting anyone else.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Absolutely. It's not fair.I agree on that one!!! Your post is actually quite sad to read as it's sad to know this still goes on and the school aren't doing anything for you. Surely they should have a policy? But good for you for ignoring them!
                  "Truely independent person who doesn't do quotes, just dates".. (29.04.17)

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                  • #10
                    One of the guys that used to bully other people but stopped is standing up for me and he thinks its good that I'm ignoring the ones that still do. He thinks it shouldn't matter what people do if its not hurting anyone and he likes the thing that I do. He even dares me to do it now

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                    • #11
                      The bullying at school isn't as bad since I started ignoring them so its working. I also told some guys that I don't care if they know I do it in my undies and they have told other people so now they know I don't care what they think.

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                      • #12
                        Umm.. Glad bullying it not affecting you
                        "Recovery is my best revenge" - Carolyn Spring "Let your past make you better not bitter" - Unknown

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Well its still gets to me sometimes but its making me stronger as well so after a whiles it not going to hurt me at all. Now that I am learning how to not let it get to me I'm going to do it at the bus stop every day and wear my undies the whole day at school

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                          • #14
                            Ah Jason, I'm so glad that the bullying isn't as bad for you now. I'm glad you don't care what other's think. I think we are around the same age so I know that what other's think is a big thing at this age. Well done for net letting it get to you!!
                            "Truely independent person who doesn't do quotes, just dates".. (29.04.17)

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Jason2016au View Post
                              Well its still gets to me sometimes but its making me stronger as well so after a whiles it not going to hurt me at all. Now that I am learning how to not let it get to me I'm going to do it at the bus stop every day and wear my undies the whole day at school
                              Doesn't sound nice or hygienic. & probably would hurt you with infections. I reallywouldsggest you see a doctor for suggests round it
                              "Recovery is my best revenge" - Carolyn Spring "Let your past make you better not bitter" - Unknown

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