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Expert Chat - Sex and Consent any ideas?

Hey everyone!

In February we're going to be running some expert chats around sex and consent.

If you have any ideas or suggestions of topics you'd like to hear about, share them in our thread here
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Support Circles on Sundays

We're excited to announce that we're going to be running support circles every Sunday as well as every Tuesday!

This next Sunday support circle will be on the 21st of January. (Sign-up here) if you'd like to come along. Places are limited so make sure to sign up quickly!
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Newsletter Consultation

Hey everyone,

We're running a consultation about The Mix Community Newsletter. We'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas!

Head over to our threads to share your feedback, ideas or interest in getting involved in the newsletter club.

Newsletter Feedback (Click here)
Newsletter Ideas (Click here)
Newsletter Club (Click here)
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Post of The Month

Jellyelephant is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Hey Abi,

Please don't be sorry. Have you ever heard of the phrase "You can't pour from an empty cup"? I feel like this applies here. You need to look after yourself before you can start caring for other people. I know you know all about self care so I won't go on, but try and practise it a little, the way you encourage others to. It's great that you have other skills too, I know music is one of your passions in life and hopefully by studying it that can help you get to where you want to be. Take all the time you need, you don't have to support people in SC all of the time - chat is there to support you too when you are going through difficult times.

Take care of yourself

Jelly x"
(Click for full post )
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Low self-esteem?

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  • Low self-esteem?

    Lately I have been feeling really down about the way I look. I have been called fat and fat head a few times in my lifetime even though I'm at a healthy weight. I can fit into size 8-10 clothes but all I see if fat and I always cover up when I go out no matter how hot the weather. I still see my ex-friend who turned nasty with me because it was obvious her sister had a problem with me / always stared at me. They got so nasty police had to be involved. She lives not far from me, she has slimmed down and I sat eating alot at home for a while for comfort. I stopped that now in the hope of slimming a little. But, I'm so emotional all the time. I worry that I may bump into her and she sees how bad I look. Fear of maybe her and her sister calling me fatty or tramp?I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm just hoping someone had some advice or support for me? I cant help but feel down. Wish i could move from this area but can't afford to. I'm genuinely suffering right now 😔
    Last edited by Kathleen; 27-06-2017, 04:24 PM.

  • #2
    Hey Stars2, sounds like you're having a pretty rough time in regards to how you feel / your weight. I personally feel the people saying this are just out to hurt you rather then anything being wrong with you.

    A good piece, although very generic answer, is to ignore them.

    You could also check out this article:
    http://www.themix.org.uk/mental-heal...teem-5941.html

    Just your friendly neighbourhood Moderator ~ Always happy to help

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    • #3
      Also think there's nothing wrong with you. If you're healthy weight and you are personally happy with that, then that's okay. And she just probably has her insecurities herself especially if she has slimmed. I'm sorry some peole people can be horrible some people will judge but it's not their judgement that matters. It's you and how you feel. And if you feel like you want to be that little bit healthier by not eating a lot in comft. Then that's okay in a healthy manner but just dont do it because someone called you fat when you're already healthy and dont let that distort your mind. Ignore them if you se them again. They clearly need some thing better to do with their lives.
      "Recovery is my best revenge" - Carolyn Spring "Let your past make you better not bitter" - Unknown

      Comment


      • #4
        Hey Stars2,

        Hope you're doing okay! Unfortunately when people insult you by targeting things which you're already insecure about it can affect you probably worse than things which weren't insecurities to begin with! Often people who insult others are in turn trying to build their own self-esteem. People deal with their own insecurities often by making fun of others (which is not okay). Everyone is good just the way they are (including you!) and the world would be a very boring place if we all looked exactly the same! Everyone is unique in their own way (literally, biologically) and we all have more or less flesh here and there which is perfectly normal! As long as you are healthy that is all that matters! If you feel you would like to become healthier and maybe start eating cleaner or exercising more, then that is a perfectly healthy way of thinking! And similarly, if you don't that's also okay Try your best not to put too much pressure on yourself and your body even though it is so hard because we often tend to be our worst critics, and the media isn't helping with all of these body 'expectations'. You are also young and bodies change all the time, but your personality never does so keep being your great self

        As hard as it is, try to ignore people who bring negativity into your life and remind yourself that people who put you down only make themselves look bad, and not you. As someone has already mentioned, they usually do this for their own benefit and most likely do not mean it

        Hope this helped and have a great day!

        Drea

        Comment


        • #5
          Hey Stars2 just checking in, how are things going?
          Just your friendly neighbourhood Moderator ~ Always happy to help

          Comment


          • #6
            Things were going good until I decided to block the person who had been horrible to me. Only I actually poked her so I deactivated my account straight away. Now I have to wait til early hours of the morning to delete that poke permanently without her knowing. But I'm worried she may have seen it. Please help! 😣

            Comment


            • #7
              Hi Stars2,

              I'm not exactly a computers expert, so I can't tell you whether or not this girl will see your poke. You say this person has been horrible to you in the past, and it seems like that's why your so anxious about her seeing this. That makes sense, and unfortunately we rarely have control over the reactions of other people. She can choose to acknowledge that poke or not, and once you've blocked her you may never have to deal with her online again. This is coming a bit later, so you may have taken care of it already. Were you able to delete the poke?

              -Kathleen

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              • #8
                Hi

                I managed to delete it straight away.
                And then block her
                Im having a bad day today. Headache -maybe from all the stress and feeling run down.
                Want to sit home alone and cry.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hey Stars2,

                  How are you feeling today?

                  Drea

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Everytime I see them, I start to feel numb, breathless, shaky and heart racing. Calmed down a littlw when I got home but I am still feel symptoms after an hour and half can't get in doctors because they're always busy

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hi Stars,

                      It sounds like this person is making you quite anxious. Is it possible to avoid them, as they clearly affect your life negatively? I'm obviously not a doctor, so I can't say for certain, but it sounds like you may be having a panic attack. This article has some more information on panic attacks, and may help you figure out if that's what happened, which could be helpful for when you get the chance to see a doctor.

                      Hope this was helpful,
                      Kathleen

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                      • #12
                        I already started leaving my house at an earlier time than usual to get to work. Unfortunately she's started to leave her house earlier so I'm wondering if she's doing on it purpose. Either way, I'll have to be brave for now until I can find a way to move area.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          It is having quite a negative effect on my life

                          Comment

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