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Post of The Month (August)

Meggles is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"my recent post and a comment from another user has made me realise that self care is so important.

I wanted to start a thread in the Health and Wellbeing section of the boards about self care.

Self care is provided by you, for you

I know a lot of us are struggling at the moment with different aspects of our own lives, and sometimes we get so lost in these we forget to take time for ourselves. This tread is, a Reminder to you to take time out for yourself during the difficult times.

down in the comments I would really love for people to share ideas and tips about self- care. to remind ourselves and others in the community.

My way of self care when i recognise ( or someone recognises i have neglected myself) is:

Take a walk and admire whats around me ( take as long as needed)
treat myself to a bath with a bathbomb and bubbles ( bubbles are important)
make a hot drink and just sit down with a film.

Please feel free to share your ideas!

The Mix have a guide to self-care which you can find here."
(Click for full post )
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i'm really really struggling, please.. help me

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  • i'm really really struggling, please.. help me

    Life is seriously testing me and i can't do this anymore.
    I constantly feel so down and anxious and its so freaking hard. Constant urge to self harm and i can cope with it anymore. My life feels like one massive mess. I'm just some fat ugly fucking bitch that doesnt deserve life.
    I'm constantly feeling disowned by apparent 'friends' and its stressing me out, i need people the most right now and i have no one. I'm struggling so so so much with thoughts and feelings i cant control.
    thoughts and feelings about myself, how fat i am, how useless and worthless i am
    thoughts and feelings about the abortion, its killing me for what i did and i can't seem to just move on like everyone keeps telling me to do. i just want to be able to talk about it and i cant seem to do that without being judged and made to feel shit for my decision.
    i'm still struggling with this whole going to university shit. i thought i would be fine with it by now, but so much shit has happened while at uni its making it less and less bearable.

    I'm really really stuggling, and i just keep saying and doing the wrong things that people wont support me through it. I don't know what to say, how to act. i dont know how to mange my emotions, feelings, thoughts. Everything is so so so overwhelming that i'm questioning my life, Because i don't see a point anymore.
    Im never happy.. i never feel ok and i cant live like this anymore.
    im sorry

  • #2
    actaully forget it. i haate myself and deserve no help


    • #3
      Hi Meggles,

      I know we don't really talk and I don't know you that well, but I wanted to try to help because you really do deserve it and you've been through so much shit, regarding ur message, it sounds like theres a lot going on, is there anyway you can slow things down a bit, taking things in steps maybe?

      If you feel like you can't control your thoughts and feelings have you tried going through them, accept them and try to let them pass, even tho it's difficult as anything, doing that might help in the long run? It takes a lot of time tho,

      I don't know what it's like to go through an abortion but my sister went through one and I know it's not something you can just move on from, some people can but a lot of people struggle and that's ok, theres nothing wrong with that, have you got any professional support as it is something you should be able to talk to someone about freely and not feel judged

      Some universities let you meet up with the lecturer before hand, to find out more about what will happen and how you can cope with the course load and all that, usually they are really helpful if you can email or call them.

      I can't really help u on the last bit, am not so sure on it myself, I just know that there has to be some point to all this and that it has to get better cos it can't get much worse,

      I really hope this helped in some way and am sorry if it's just a tone of shit words, I really do care


      • #4
        I can't seem to slow things down. I've given up fighting and gave into to my thoughts. I self harmed, got angry at myself and thought it would just be best to end my life because what's a life when you live like this?
        I've had counselling but there's only so many sessions they can give and and it takes a huge number or sessions to actually trust the counselors and i jsut can't do it


        • #5
          i think im experincing some sort of crisis... just cut like an inch and a half off my hair..


          • #6
            It's about making something out of it, but I don't know how we're suppose to do that


            • #7
              Hey meggles.

              I am so sorry you feel so low. i can't say i understand your situation but i do understand you're sadly really struggling. I understand can feel like their is no point in life when life feels so shit but rn I am a strong believer in -we cant predict how we feel later on.As long as you're alive there is always hope!!! - . & I'm sorry you self harmed . Its okay sometimes it's just getting past that moment alive.

              I know sometimes it can feel like no one cares and you have no one. Sometimes people dont kno what to say. But there is ALWAYS someone willing to listen to you. Whether that be your friends or a help line. Someone on the phone or somewhere wants to help you. & to me that means a lot.

              You said you keep doing wrong things but I believe you found stregnth to find support & can find strength to carry on cause youre still reading my shit. It can be hard to be kind to our selves and remind us the good things we are doing . But I think once start recognising them more it can maybe make things easier.
              And just remember everyone process things differently and that is also okay . And Everyone does and says things they think maybe they shouldn't of.

              Stay strong and take care of your precious self

              I dont expect anything - to just end up disappointed. But i do not have zero hope for the future cause that has only dragged me down & brung negativity. I will just not predict the future


              • #8
                Thank you both.

                Barely want to get out of bed anymore. I feel so exhausted with life


                • #9
                  Hi Meggles,
                  Thank you for having the courage to post how you are feeling. I’m sorry to hear that you’re having a really tough time at the moment. Always remember that there is someone willing to listen to your worries. I can totally understand that life can be full of many obstacles and sometimes it can feel like it never gives you a break but things in life are forever changing and that means that your feelings will change too (even if right now, you feel like that is far from the truth!)

                  I know as young women it is easy for us to pick at the parts of ourselves that we dislike but when we allow this negative self-talk it can put a halt to our personal growth. You deserve to be treated with respect, encouragement and patience. We desire that much from people we know so we should desire it from ourselves. We shouldn’t put up with that negative voice in our head. We deserve better than that surely? You’re a fantastic person on this extraordinary journey called 'life', you’re at the beginning of creating a life for yourself that has the option to be filled with great things and experiences. I see you are at University, what do you study? Working towards a degree is a fantastic achievement that you should feel proud of yourself for, do you have the option to discuss your current problems with a counsellor at Uni or even your tutor?

                  I understand that you feel that you cannot control these thoughts and feelings, sometimes we have those grey days where we cannot explain why we are feeling low and that’s fine, you don’t always need to explain yourself. When I have felt like this I have found a walk in the great outdoors with my earphones plugged into a chill mix provides my mind with clarity and helps my mood to improve or tuning into my favourite Netflix show. Relaxation is key - why not take up some hobbies specifically for this? Try things like meditation, stretching and yoga, art, reading or even herbal teas. What could you do to relax? What are some of the things you enjoy? Do you think that if this continues you would seek help from your GP again and try to find a counsellor that you can trust, it can take time to feel comfortable with someone in this position, but there will be a professional you can gel with.

                  Dealing with a difficult choice such as an abortion is never easy and it will take time to overcome these feelings. You made a very brave decision. You did what you felt was best at the time and that’'s what you have to remember. I've not had an abortion myself but I understand that some women are just not in a position to care for a baby in the way they would want to and sometimes it is better than the alternative. That decision took a lot courage and maturity. Remember that you did it for the baby and that's a very selfless thing to do and it doesn't stop you from starting a family in the future if/when you feel the time is right.

                  Meggles, you’re completely worthy of life and I understand that sometimes we need to be reminded of that. If you ever feel like you’re having a crisis again do not hesitate to post on here again or contacting the organisations below, like I said before there is ALWAYS someone whom will listen.

                  If you're having a crisis and need support now, Samaritans will listen to you, whatever your problem. They are a confidential service. You can call them for free (including mobiles) on 116 123 or email them on

                  ​- SunshineSoul
                  Last edited by SunshineSoul; 10-08-2017, 11:29 AM.


                  • #10
                    I really hate myself. Lol what even is the point


                    • #11
                      Hi Meggles

                      ​I just wanted to check in, how have you been doing? Have you been able to enjoy a couple of the sunny days we have had?



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