Essential support for under 25s


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Support Circles on Sundays

Hey everyone,

We're going to be running support circles once a month on a Sunday! At the moment they run on Tuesdays, but for one of those Tuesdays, each month they will be running on a Sunday instead.

This next Sunday support circle will be on 26 November. If you'd like to come along, (sign up by completing the form here )
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Chatwee Update

Update - There's been some technical difficulties launching Chatwee onto our website so we will not be moving to Chatwee on Thursday.

As soon as we fix this issue, we'll announce another date for launching. We're really sorry for the delay in Chatwee, thanks so much for your patience.
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Post of The Month (September)

Maisy is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Hey Shaunie,

​I care. I really relate to what you have been experiencing with the house falling apart, and things not getting fixed due to general shame of the state of the house and not knowing where to begin fixing things or who to contact (you don't want to come across rogue tradesmen). Not even having adequate heating and hot water. And clutter. Everywhere. It's horrible to live in such circumstances, I know. It's hard as well when you see everyone else living a 'normal' life and yet being unable to talk about your situation."
(Click for full post )
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Worried about my friend

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  • Worried about my friend

    I am really worried about one of my friends and dont know what to do to help her?
    She has been really distancing herself recently from people and not coming training anymore. Yesterday she was messaging me about not feeling worth anything and how she feels she doesn't fit in because she isn't skinny like everyone else.
    It might sound like nothing but i am really scared because i lost a close friend to suicide a few years ago and still semi think i could have helped her and i really dont want a repeat of things.
    How should i help her?
    Last edited by Esme17; 07-09-2017, 06:51 PM.
    Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations

  • #2
    imo, tell her that you're concerned for her wellbeing and you genuinely care about her. and if it's no burden to you, tell her that you're willing to listen to her vent, though always with a disclaimer that sometimes the best you can do is only listen, though encouragement can be nice if you can offer it, depressed people tend to..only think in black and whites (amongst other thought patterns) and often that means for example "i did one terrible thing" = "i am always terrible", so showing them that actually it's not black and white and they did good too can help (sometimes people won't reply when those thoughts are challenged because they realise that they can't argue, sometimes you have to spend a while convincing them that they're worth something), the same for any other bad thoughts like that - like if they think the future is glum try to show them how many opportunites for happiness in some form are ahead of them. in your case i presume it's likely you may be able to comfort her about not fitting in. (though always remember you come first! if you ever can't listen to someone vent, then say it, express that it's not because you don't care but you have other stuff going on, and suggest they seek someone else, a place like this, or writing it down somewhere instead)

    when she's feeling bad about something ask her what she wants you to do - sometimes it may be listening to a rant, sometimes it may be that she just wants a distraction and you should talk about something else - the best way to know is simply to ask!

    and if she should ever vent to you, unless they state they just want to be left alone, always try to finish the conversation with something happy - like an inside joke or anything you know makes them smile. they'll appreciate it and it could lead to an entirley new conversation that distracts them from the thing they were originally sad about! unless of course they just ask to be left alone, in which case don't.

    i'm sorry you lost your friend! sometimes there's nothing we can do to stop people ending their lives - ultimately, it's their decision, and sometimes even friends can't help...and when one doesn't have access to reasonable quality health care in those times, things can...well..yeah. i hope it won't repeat itself! but if it ever gets bad enough for her that they consider suicide, that's a huge red flag for needing to let a professional know - though it's 4am so i can't dig up any specific advice for that right now, perhaps someone else/mods know better here though!
    Why didn't you just shout i'm lonely and i'm looking for a place to go ~ Where everything's an embrace and everybody wants to know


    • #3
      Thankyou! That's so helpful. I will send her a message later today or when she next messages me about it to explain that I'm here for her. I'm just worried that I won't always be able to support her cause i have my own things going on at home as well. I'm just soo scared of things repeating themselves because i can't go through that again.
      Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations


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