Essential support for under 25s


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Expert chat: Enthusiastic Consent & Conditional Consent (Wed 21st February)

Hey everyone!

On Wednesday 21st Feb at 6.30pm, Sarah our expert, will be running an expert chat about Enthusiastic Consent and Conditional Consent.

Sarah is the co-founder of Scarlet Ladies, a community of women with the aim to destigmatise and normalise the conversation around female sexuality.

Suffering from post traumatic stress disorder after experiencing a number of traumas, including rape, Sarah is reclaiming her body by engaging in bodybuilding and powerlifting. Taking back control of her sexuality, she is currently remaining abstinent. Working and campaigning with other women for the sexual empowerment of women has been an integral part of her healing journey.

Come along and join us! Find out more here
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Vanilla features: have your say

As we move to our new boards software, Vanilla, we'll have a few new features at our disposal. We're keen to hear what you all think about them, so head here to have your say over how we'll use (or not use) some of the new features. Fill out the form before Wednesday the 21st to tell us your thoughts and have the option of joining our testing team!
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The Great Boards Migration

Great news! We're moving to new discussion boards software. Head here for the full announcement.
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Post of The Month

One-in-a-million is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Just a bit of fun here if you could create an advent calendar what would you put in it and why.

For me you would still get chocolate 😆😆
But inside each door is a task for the day. Something that includes you helping/talking to others, doing something festive and spreading Christmas cheer
For example

1. Tell your parents/carers you love them
2. Say hello when passing an OAP (that might be the only thing someone says to them all week)
3. Watch a Christmas movie
4. Help someone in need e.g put some spare change in a charity box, buy a warm drink for the homeless person who sits on the corner, dothe washing up ha ha ha😂
5 make hot chocolate
6. Visit your grandparents (if you donít already) They will more than likely love to see you.
7. Sing a Christmas song with a friend
8. Dress up in something Christmasy when you do your shopping.

You get the idea 😂😉 my reason for this is to get people in the mood and understand what Christmas actually means.

What would yours have and why."
(Click for full post )
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Not happy!

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  • Not happy!

    I have complained about my support again! I did last year too when I first moved in here..It just seems I am complainning about all the support I should be receiving (I complained about my CPN a few weeks ago too) I have nearly been here a year now but my concerns got passed onto the support worker last time and so my support worker confronted me and I felt like she was having a go at me and I got very upset. So I hope they keep what I say between me and them this time! But I guess not because she has just tried calling me but not answering as I am typing this. I am shaking so bad because I feel like I am a bad person for complainning about these things. Have they told my support worker already that I have complained? Now shes being all "nicey nicey" on messages. I dont get it. + I have finished the 8 sessions of counselling through themix this morning and I cant have anymore (I was lucky to have these 8 sessions because I had 12 sessions with them last year). They are super duper counsellors so I would 100% reccommend 🖒 as I have been disscussing with my counsellor each week what needs to be done by my support worker and she says everyday she is going to do them and they are things that take 2minutes, my lightbulbs need changing, my room needs vaccuming (she has my mums vaccum locked in the office) and I see things, theres a skyline window just outside my room I see Tobi and lilly on the skyline window (dont laugh!) They are there namws so I brought some paper to cover the window, everyday she says she is going to do these things and they never get bloody done, I am sick of it. I would cover all the windows if I could and the door but I cant really do that as it is a shared house and I am the one left feeling really bad for complainning vecause I am not receving sufficent support from people who should be supporting me 😕
    I dont want a signature.

  • #2
    Hi Lostsense,

    Well done for being open about the way you are feeling at the moment and I am glad that the counselling which the mix have been able to provide you has been great.

    If you feel that you aren't getting the support which you want then it is completely ok to complain about the support which you are getting and I am sorry that your support worker had ago at you for complaining. Have you spoken with your support worker today, if so how did it go?

    You said that you complained at the start just after you moved in, did anything change after this at all?

    It can be very annoying when there are things which you tell your support worker which need doing and she says she would do them but then never does. Do you have anyone else which would be able to help and complete any of these tasks for you?

    It sounds like it is a very frustrating time at the moment. How you feeling now?

    We are here for you.

    You're much stronger than you think you are. Trust me. - superman.


    • #3
      Hiya 🖑

      No I havent spoken to my support worker she just messaged asking if I got my meds and to say "will get that put up at window first thing Monday morning" but we will see🤔 I don't know if she knows that I phoned the office this morning but if she knows I am sure she will confront me on Monday morning, I am scared to see her!

      + someone has been round to do my lightbulbs since I complained! At least I have them done now. I dont know if thats got something to do with my complaint because I did mention that or that they have actually just finally got round to doing it!

      When I phoned the office this morning though they said the project manager would phone me back and they havent, I thought that would have been today.

      No, nothing changed when I complained before my support worker promised things and we never did them, she said each day we would spend 1hour together we never did. Just broken promises! The office also said we can move you house..I was like 😲 I dont want to move house! I want a new support worker or this one to get her arse into gear! They better not say that again!

      With the skyline window outside of my room I asked my support worker if I could get someone to come and do it and she said "Howie can't do it for you in case he has a accident or fell off ladders" (howie is just the person who was going to do it for me).

      I have lightbulbs now finally (howie was gona come and that aswell).

      And none of the other ladys here have a vaccum. Howie is meant to be coming over the weekend to hang a cannopy over my bed (because I am scared and frightened of so much I want to make my room pretty) so his gotta stand on my bed to do that anyway and my support worker said he can do that! But yet she wont allow him to stand on ladders to cover this skyline window! So anyway if howie does come I might ask him to bring a vaccum I would have just got him to cover the window too but the papper that is *allowed* up at the window is locked in a small office in the house.

      I dont really know how I am feeling 🤔
      Last edited by Lostsense; 27-10-2017, 07:32 PM.
      I dont want a signature.


      • #4
        Hi Lostsense,

        Sorry I haven't got back to you before, sounds like some of the things which needed doing have been done which is good. Has anything else been done this week which needed doing?

        How was it when you saw your support worker on Monday? I hope it went alright, is there anything which scares you about when she comes over?

        Howie sounds like a nice person which is helpful it can be great to have people like Howie around. I hope everything is going ok, keep talking we are here for you.

        You're much stronger than you think you are. Trust me. - superman.


        • #5

          It's alright.

          Yes everything that needs to be done by her has been now. The support worker put up the paper at the skyline window however she did a botched job at it theres a gap in the corner and its really bothering me because the corners arent equal. I'm just gona fill the gap when I get some more paper, I'm not sure how she used it all as there was loads but she hasent given me any back. She filled in my PIP form too but again did a very poor job at it she scribbled out lots in it and I dont know if thats allowed in a pip form also for each part she only put a sentance or two, thats not gona be enough :S

          She hasent said anything about me calling up the office so I dont know if she dosent know or is just not telling me she knows this time. Neither did the project manager call me back either, thats not good.

          Howie is a compliacted man 😂 he used to be in a relationship with my mum, now they are just friends but at the bottom of it all he would do anything for me, his not my "real dad" but his like a dad he did come round and put up my bed cannopy and also bought a vaccum round so we vaccumed my room too.

          I felt really bad for complaining; my support worker lost her sister to cancer on Thursday and I lost my Auntie in August so it was emotional Thursday and yesterday (she only came in Thursday for 5mins), yesterday for 2hours but its very sad.
          I dont want a signature.


          • #6
            Hi Lostsense,

            Sounds great that things have finally been done which needed to be done. But annoying that some of them haven't been done how you expected them to be done. I hope that you are able to get some more paper soon to patch the hole.

            You talked about not having had any contact from the project manager. I was wondering would you be able to try and ring the manager and talk to her or send her an email asking her to ring you?

            It sounds like you have a good relationship with Howie and its great that you have someone which is able to help you out when you need some help. I am pleased to here that he bought a vacuum cleaner around for you.

            Sorry to here that you lost your auntie and she lost her sister. How are you feeling about everything at the moment?

            You're much stronger than you think you are. Trust me. - superman.


            • #7
              Urghh! Yes things have been done that needed to be done but its not consistent!

              I think that has been and gone now (speaking to the project manager) so I will let this one go at this time.

              Howie is okay but has been acting innapropriatly towards me he says I am "his daughter" and you wouldnt do these things to your daughter evan my mum and support worker say so. Like he said he wanted me in his bed a while ago, he sends me dirty images like a bananna in a mouth and I sent him a picture of me in the pool when I was on holiday in September and I was at my mums Saturday night he was there as us 3 went to a bonfire he showed me the pic of me and zoomed in on it where you could clearly see my cleavage and he said "I want to screenshot that but dont know how to" my sister said that is so wierd. Also he is OBSESSED with my mum and it annoys me.

              I went to my Auntie Laurens tree on Sunday and placed a little personalised love heart coaster on her stones. I will post a pic..its on the right in the pic what I put on and I dont know if you will be able to read the writting it says "To a special Auntie, missed very much, RIP sweetie, lots of love Steph xxx I wanted to put sweetie in it because that was what I was calling her at the end 💜

              (I cant upload my Auntie Laurens tree as it says it exceeeds the size of an image allowed or something).
              Last edited by Lostsense; 14-11-2017, 08:56 PM.
              I dont want a signature.


              • #8
                Hi Lostsense,

                Thought I would check in and see how you are doing? We are here for you.

                Sorry to here that things aren't consistent and that Howie has been acting inappropriately towards you. I understand that could be annoying. How do you feel about this?

                That's a lovely thing to do to your auntie's tree. I am sure she would be really proud of you.

                Hope things are alright with you.


                You're much stronger than you think you are. Trust me. - superman.


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