Essential support for under 25s

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Expert chat: Enthusiastic Consent & Conditional Consent (Wed 21st February)

Hey everyone!

On Wednesday 21st Feb at 6.30pm, Sarah our expert, will be running an expert chat about Enthusiastic Consent and Conditional Consent.

Sarah is the co-founder of Scarlet Ladies, a community of women with the aim to destigmatise and normalise the conversation around female sexuality.

Suffering from post traumatic stress disorder after experiencing a number of traumas, including rape, Sarah is reclaiming her body by engaging in bodybuilding and powerlifting. Taking back control of her sexuality, she is currently remaining abstinent. Working and campaigning with other women for the sexual empowerment of women has been an integral part of her healing journey.


Come along and join us! Find out more here
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Vanilla features: have your say

As we move to our new boards software, Vanilla, we'll have a few new features at our disposal. We're keen to hear what you all think about them, so head here to have your say over how we'll use (or not use) some of the new features. Fill out the form before Wednesday the 21st to tell us your thoughts and have the option of joining our testing team!
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The Great Boards Migration

Great news! We're moving to new discussion boards software. Head here for the full announcement.
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Post of The Month

One-in-a-million is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Just a bit of fun here if you could create an advent calendar what would you put in it and why.

For me you would still get chocolate 😆😆
But inside each door is a task for the day. Something that includes you helping/talking to others, doing something festive and spreading Christmas cheer
For example

1. Tell your parents/carers you love them
2. Say hello when passing an OAP (that might be the only thing someone says to them all week)
3. Watch a Christmas movie
4. Help someone in need e.g put some spare change in a charity box, buy a warm drink for the homeless person who sits on the corner, dothe washing up ha ha ha😂
5 make hot chocolate
6. Visit your grandparents (if you donít already) They will more than likely love to see you.
7. Sing a Christmas song with a friend
8. Dress up in something Christmasy when you do your shopping.

You get the idea 😂😉 my reason for this is to get people in the mood and understand what Christmas actually means.

What would yours have and why."
(Click for full post )
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GP or Counsellor?

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  • GP or Counsellor?

    Sorry for uploading another post so soon, but I canít think straight right now, so canít even come up with valid reasons for wanting to see a GP first instead of a counsellor (or vice versa) so can anyone help me out? I know this is a bit of a weird request, but my mind is a mess.

  • #2
    I should probably add that my preference was GP first

    Comment


    • #3
      I would say gp then they can refer you if they feel it would be beneficial. Especially regarding what you were saying in your last post too
      Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations

      Comment


      • #4
        Thank you Esme, I was worried about waiting times for referral though. Could I refuse a GP referral but go private if they thought treatment would be beneficial?

        Comment


        • #5
          Yeah that might work too! Iím not too sure how it works myself but I think that would work?
          Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations

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          • #6
            Thanks Esme

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            • #7
              So I finally went to see a GP today.

              It went okay, I talked about some of my concerns (nerves got the better of me so didnít mention everything) and that I talk to my mum and close friend. I mentioned that I had almost seen a counsellor twice but something stopped me, so I was told to try and get private counselling again, as well as to look at some websites, do some exercise and do something with other people then go back to the doctors in two weeks, or sooner if I feel really low.

              I would feel too awkward to try and reach out again to the counsellor I was emailing (havenít contacted them in about 8 months,) I didnít see anything of assistance on the websites, I hate all exercise and feel worse when I do it, and I havenít got anything to do with other people than talk or hang around the shopping centre. Exercise and being with others doesnít take my mind off of anything. I know I sound so negative but I just canít help it now, and I know I want help but nothing has ever benefitted me in the past.

              I donít want to dismiss what the doctor told me immediately, and I will try, but Iíve just become so negative that my mind does

              Comment


              • #8
                Well done Pumpkinpie for going and seeing the GP.

                Above you spoke about not wanting to talk to the counsellor which you had previously spoken to which is fine. Do you think you will try and find a different counsellor which you might feel more comfortable talking to?

                Its ok if your not interested in exercise but you want to get to know others, do you enjoy anything else for example photography, baking or something arty? There are lost of different groups which out there, google is a great place to start and find out all the different groups which might be available in the local area to you.

                How you feeling now?

                Keep talking, well done.

                Rayofhope
                You're much stronger than you think you are. Trust me. - superman.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hi and thanks Rayofhope.

                  I donít think itís that I donít want to talk to this counsellor, itís just that something in my mind stops me from contacting them and I just leave it. I donít know much about this counsellor but I will hopefully try and get in touch again.

                  Thereís not very much in my local area, and unfortunately Iím not really very arty but I do bake occasionally. I should probably exercise because the doctor told me theyíd definitely ask me about it when I go back. Hate it but Iím unfit so it might help.

                  Iím feeling better now, when I wrote my previous post I was having a very low moment. Hopefully Iíll sleep okay tonight.

                  Pumpkin

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hi Pumpkin,

                    It sounds positive that you do want to try and get back in contact with this counsellor just that there is something stopping you getting in contact at the moment. Do you know what might be stopping you making contact?

                    There are lots of different forms of exercise out there so I hope you are able to find something out there which you enjoy. The motivation to do exercise can be hard.

                    Lets us know how you currently doing?

                    Rayofhope

                    You're much stronger than you think you are. Trust me. - superman.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Rayofhope View Post
                      Hi Pumpkin,

                      It sounds positive that you do want to try and get back in contact with this counsellor just that there is something stopping you getting in contact at the moment. Do you know what might be stopping you making contact?

                      There are lots of different forms of exercise out there so I hope you are able to find something out there which you enjoy. The motivation to do exercise can be hard.

                      Lets us know how you currently doing?

                      Rayofhope
                      Thanks again Rayofhope.

                      Iím doing okay thanks. I think it might be some sort of fear of the unknown that is stopping me from contacting the counsellor, which could also explain why I wanted to go to the GP first (as I obviously know what thatís like.)

                      I did do some exercise by putting an abnormal amount of effort into circuit training in PE class, but I didnít particularly enjoy it, as with all other forms of exercise. The doctor I saw before said it could help take my mind off of what Iím going through, but the whole time I exercised, my internal negative voice was screaming at me, telling me Iím unfit, fat, not putting enough effort in, etc, until I just ended up sore and exhausted. (I canít even help but be negative now.)

                      Iím hopefully going to go back to the doctors sometime next week, but maybe see a different GP, as I wasnít really comfortable with the one I saw before.

                      Pumpkin

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                      • #12
                        Hi again all,

                        I went back to the doctors today, and saw a different GP who was really nice and I felt a lot more comfortable with them than with the previous one. I told them everything I had said before, and what the other GP had recommended I do, and they gave me information for different things (which I actually feel could be more beneficial than exercise, spending time with people, etc.)

                        They gave me contact details for a local drop-in centre which has an on site counsellor, and said that theyíd look into a new computerised programme of cognitive behavioural therapy for me, as they werenít sure what the age limit on it was. I didnít get a referral to CAMHS or anything, as the waiting list is about 18 months and the GP wants me to get help quicker. I also had to fill out a questionnaire about how Iíve been feeling.

                        Overall, I think this appointment went better than the previous one, and I do feel slightly more positive about getting help.

                        Pumpkin

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          That's really good to hear Pumpkin, I hope things start to get better for you now.

                          Esme x
                          Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations

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