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Support Circles on Sundays

Hey everyone,

We're going to be running support circles once a month on a Sunday! At the moment they run on Tuesdays, but for one of those Tuesdays, each month they will be running on a Sunday instead.

This next Sunday support circle will be on 26 November. If you'd like to come along, (sign up by completing the form here )
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Chatwee Update

Update - There's been some technical difficulties launching Chatwee onto our website so we will not be moving to Chatwee on Thursday.

As soon as we fix this issue, we'll announce another date for launching. We're really sorry for the delay in Chatwee, thanks so much for your patience.
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Post of The Month (September)

Maisy is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Hey Shaunie,

​I care. I really relate to what you have been experiencing with the house falling apart, and things not getting fixed due to general shame of the state of the house and not knowing where to begin fixing things or who to contact (you don't want to come across rogue tradesmen). Not even having adequate heating and hot water. And clutter. Everywhere. It's horrible to live in such circumstances, I know. It's hard as well when you see everyone else living a 'normal' life and yet being unable to talk about your situation."
(Click for full post )
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Anorexia& attention seeking

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  • Anorexia& attention seeking

    Heey. Im just wondering if anyone has any views on this.

    I was neglected so my therapist used to say maybe i choose anorexia for attention but who is gunna "choose" an illness thats just fucked up. I had CAT therapy which looks at relaationships and he mainly looked at my family life and came to that conclusion.

    I do nothing out of the ordinary that shows i want attention. I do so so much to hide my ED and i keep myself to myself most of the time. And i HATE it when someome notics. And he would also know how much i hated it and know how shy i am but still say it. So i domt get it. He would tell me losing weight dramaticly seems like the only way to get attention, to be noticed and cared for, for myself. But no i hate it all and i want to die. But then i do question it.

    I am not even making out that wanting attention is a bad thing. Of corse i love attention, like who wants to be completly ignored, right. But i didnt like how my feelings was minised and made me feel like i have no this control and could stop any day when i cant???

    My therapy finished months ago but i cant stop thinking - 'fml im just an attention seeker and deserve to die' to thinking - 'im not an attention seeker and i will never have cntrol over thid and is ruining my whole life and still want to die'.

    I just dk anymore. Im just confused. Like maybe he was saying it is how it started and now i cant stop. But i cant even remember how it started. I think it is more to do with the lack of control i had as kid growing up so liked seeing control in my weight loss and got obsessive & addictive so i still do it. Not that im trying to make up for the care i never got.

    Is it wrong for my therpist to of said that stuff ? To me it sounds mostly wrong and would of stopped me getting help if i knew thats how people got treated. But idk if i just viewing it all wrong
    Last edited by Shaunie; 09-11-2017, 11:02 AM.
    I dont expect anything - to just end up disappointed. But i do not have zero hope for the future cause that has only dragged me down & brung negativity. I will just not predict the future

  • #2
    Hi Shaunie ,

    I agree with you. Illness isn't a choice. There are so many ways in which a person could get attention without having to go through such a hard time.

    I hope you're doing ok,

    - Eleanor
    "Truely independent person who doesn't do quotes, just dates".. (29.04.17)

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by independent_ View Post
      Hi Shaunie ,

      I agree with you. Illness isn't a choice. There are so many ways in which a person could get attention without having to go through such a hard time.

      I hope you're doing ok,

      - Eleanor
      Exaclty what ive been thinking
      I dont expect anything - to just end up disappointed. But i do not have zero hope for the future cause that has only dragged me down & brung negativity. I will just not predict the future

      Comment


      • #4
        I watched the doctumenary on anorexia the other day and if i can remember right but someone was like that having anorexia is like not wanting to grow up, and she wanted to be cared for like she was when younger and someone to tell her to "eat", or something but they didnt say seeking attention. And like she knew what she meant and surely if i was doing the same sorta thing i would know. Idk

        And i just read stuff that i can cant find now-.-on something like ---when some people are sick/ill, they want empathy from someoen which isnt attention seeking behaviour, it is cause someone has lack on self worth and self esteem, that they need someone to feel like they care.--- but to me that sounds a lil like seeking attention Idk is all a lil confusing to me

        Although it sorta makes sense i just dont think its what happened with me. And surely if it was relatable for me than therapy would of worked & i wouldnt still be struggling with anorexia? And for him to of said "choose" is completly the wrong word and if it was like that, it would probably be seen as a way of coping not a chioce.

        Anyway think my head is a bit more clearer writing it out, instead of just thinking about it. But idk always feel like im not making sense and seeing it all wrong
        Last edited by Shaunie; 10-11-2017, 02:13 AM.
        I dont expect anything - to just end up disappointed. But i do not have zero hope for the future cause that has only dragged me down & brung negativity. I will just not predict the future

        Comment


        • #5
          Shaunie,

          You have been really brave to open up about your thoughts and sharing your story with us. It seems very frustrating to have your therapist say you seek attention when that is not how you feel. This seems like a tough time for you. There are some organisations that specialise in eating disorders and providing support if you are feeling confused or lost.

          Here are a couple organisations that you could look at:

          B-Eat is an organisation that provides information, help, and support for people affected by eating disorders. Their website is: https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk. They have a youth helpline that you can contact at 0808 801 0711.

          Supportline offers free emotional support. You can call them on 01708 765200 or visit their website at http://www.supportline.org.uk.

          Samaritans is a confidential service that will listen to you and support you with anything. Their number is 116 123 or you can visit their website at https://www.samaritans.org.

          You’ve done a great thing by opening up and trying to get some support. I hope these organisations are helpful to you. Do you think you would get in touch with them?
          -Allyson

          Comment


          • #6
            Heya Shaunie

            It's hard hearing stern words from a therapist, but there are some things to keep in mind. Therapists aren't always right, often they are just trying to discuss possible connections to particular emotional states. Don't fixate on what your therapist has said in the past to you, you know yourself more than anyone.

            f course you haven't chosen anorexia, its a massively complicated mental health issue which doesn't have simple causation, and no one would ever wish it upon themselves or anyone they know.

            One promising thing is the recent shifts in thinking towards mental health issues. More and more people are treating mental health issues, such as anorexia/anxiety etc, like a disability. This is a shift for the better; mental health issues are NOT a choice, and should never be discussed like they are. It is not your fault you suffer from anorexia, please never think it is, despite what your therapist says.


            <3 There is a massive community of people out there who are going through similar things, never feel alone.

            <3 Never ever blame yourself for what you're going through, that would be like someone suffering from anxiety saying 'it's my fault I am like this', or someone with a hearing impairment thinking 'I have done this to myself'. A disability is never chosen.

            <3 Seek help. One amazing thing about mental health is the ability to get better. You can learn coping mechanisms and behavioural techniques to better your situation. I know that as a sufferer of anxiety- so many things have made me be able to cope with the condition and feel 'normal', as it were. I would never say I am 'cured', but things are 100% better than they were.

            Good luck in the future Shaunie, I am sure you will find a way through this and come out feeling much better, you certainly deserve to.

            Comment


            • #7
              Thank you Allyson & Dusty
              Last edited by Shaunie; 20-11-2017, 07:50 PM.
              I dont expect anything - to just end up disappointed. But i do not have zero hope for the future cause that has only dragged me down & brung negativity. I will just not predict the future

              Comment

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