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Jellyelephant is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Hey Abi,

Please don't be sorry. Have you ever heard of the phrase "You can't pour from an empty cup"? I feel like this applies here. You need to look after yourself before you can start caring for other people. I know you know all about self care so I won't go on, but try and practise it a little, the way you encourage others to. It's great that you have other skills too, I know music is one of your passions in life and hopefully by studying it that can help you get to where you want to be. Take all the time you need, you don't have to support people in SC all of the time - chat is there to support you too when you are going through difficult times.

Take care of yourself

Jelly x"
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Struggling a bit, not sure what to do

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  • Struggling a bit, not sure what to do

    Hi,

    So some of you will know that I recently sought help for my mental health by going to see a GP, and a few weeks after my second appointment, I got a letter from them telling me that the treatment they initially recommended (computerised CBT) had an age limit of 18 (so I’m too young) so they gave me details of a telephone CBT service, which I phoned. I was told that the waiting list is at least 2 months, which I know isn’t long compared to 18 for CAMHS, but the voice in my head and the negativity it causes is getting worse, and I don’t have anyone to talk to besides my mum (who says we go round in circles with discussing it and that it’s draining) and a close friend (who has their own issues to deal with so I don’t want to bombard them with mine.)

    I don’t know what to do, and I don’t have a diagnosis so can’t really use any of the self-help resources the lady I spoke to when I rang the number the GP gave me because they’re condition-specific. Not sure where to turn and it’s getting harder to hide, people are noticing changes. Sorry.

    Pumpkin

  • #2
    Heya pumpkinpie, good to see you round again.

    Good news on the treatment, although I hear that two months wait isn't fun (even if it is good compared to CAMHS, that's not saying very much!). If you're looking for an outlet and a place to chat to help tide you over until then, there are some online platforms that may be good. I'm not too sure where you've been before (if anywhere), so apologies if this is old ground!

    7Cups have both group and one-to-one chats which are open 24/7. Childline are also another option - they have message boards as well as one-to-one services. And of course, goes without saying that you're always welcome on both our discussion boards and in our group chats.

    What kind of thoughts of negativity are you having, if you don't mind me asking? And how are you generally feeling today?

    Taking care of yourself takes care of more than just yourself.

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi and thanks Mike,

      Thanks for the recommendations, Iíll have a look at them. As for the negativity, itís caused by the voice in my head that resembles my own thoughts (but itís not- if that makes sense) which tells me how stupid/embarrassing/ugly/fat/dumb/etc I am, which makes me act in a self-depreciating way, so I struggle to say anything positive about myself and constantly put myself down. Itís this that people are starting to notice a bit, as well as supposedly being a bit ďoff.Ē

      Pumpkin

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi again,

        Just to ask, has anybody else ever felt particularly low in the run up to receiving mental health treatment? What did you do to get through the time? I can't use the self-help website the woman I spoke to when I phoned the CBT service because I don't have a diagnosis, I've looked at the websites Mike recommended but haven't had a reply from a post on Childline's message boards and the person I spoke to in their 1-2-1 counsellor chat wasn't really reading what I was telling her and replied with stuff to do with things I hadn't even said so I came off it and I've tried basic self-care stuff but I can't even do anything now without the voice in my head telling me it's not worth it.

        I thought about going back to see a GP to talk about it (and possibly get a diagnosis) but my mum is still pushing me to see a counsellor (she doesn't think a GP will do anything worthwhile,) but I don't know if that would work since I'm already on the waiting list for another treatment, why should I see a counsellor only once to talk about it when I'm not going to need to see them again?

        Pumpkin

        Comment


        • #5
          Hey Pumpkin, how is everything going?

          It sounds like you're going through a really difficult time at the moment, particularly with the voice saying negative things. How powerful would you say the voice is? do you feel you have a bit of control over it?

          Waiting for mental health treatment can be really tough. The Mix actually recently wrote an article about what to do if you're on a waiting list. You can find it here. They mention a bit about self-care techniques, which ones have you been trying so far?

          I'm sorry to hear about your experience with Childline. How would you feel reaching out to them again and perhaps seeing if there will be a different counsellor you can chat to?

          I've listed below a few other organisations you can try reaching out to, I hope those are helpful.
          • Mind has an infoline (0300 123 3393) and text service (86463) open 9am Ė 6pm Monday to Friday (charges dependent on your mobile phone provider or local rates if calling from a landline), online community Elefriends, and local Mind centres.
          • SANE runs an out-of-hours helpline (0300 304 7000) open 4:30pm Ė 10:30pm every day of the year (charges dependent on your mobile phone provider or local rates if calling from a landline) and a support forum.
          All the best,

          - Aife

          Comment


          • #6
            Thanks so much for replying Aife,

            I would say that the voice does have a lot of power, like I canít drown it out or stop it, but itís not really like one I can hear, itís more like my own thoughts but I donít control them. Sometimes I have days when it barely says anything, other days itís on at me for every single thing I say or do.

            That article was really informative, so thanks for that. Iíve found that baking helps me to relax (sounds weird I know) as well as reading books and taking long showers.

            I donít think you can choose which counsellor you talk to on the 1-2-1 chat on Childline, you just go into a waiting room until one is ready, and you donít know until you enter the chat. If it was the one I spoke to before, Iíd have to exit and go to the back of the queue again.

            Iíll have a look at the other organisations, and I think I might have to go back to the GP again if I get any worse, would that be a good idea? And can I ask about a diagnosis so Iím more prepared when I eventually get off the waiting list for the telephone CBT?

            Thanks again,
            Pumpkin

            Comment


            • #7
              Hey

              it's really good you're seeking out help, do you have any input from camhs at all? If it does get worse I would definitely go back to the gp. Have you looked up cbt apps? I just had a look and theres quite a lot that might help you while you're waiting. I tend to use the what's up app and there's lots of coping techniques on there that might help. It might be helpful to ask about a diagnosis so you can start to understand it and why you feel the way you do
              'My worst days in recovery are better than the best days in relapse.' - Kate Le Page

              Comment


              • #8
                Thanks BubblesGoesBoo,

                I donít have any input from CAMHS because the GP I saw the last time told me the waiting list was extremely long and there wouldnít be much point in referring me (thatís why she recommended the telephone CBT.)

                I havenít actually thought about apps, so thank you for that, Iíll look into them.

                Thanks for the advice,

                Pumpkin

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hi Pumpkin,

                  You spoke about not having input from CAMHS because of the long waiting list even though there is a very long waiting list is it something that you would like to be put on the waiting list for?

                  Its great that you have thought about apps which is a great idea, let us know how you get on with that.

                  Rayofhope
                  You're much stronger than you think you are. Trust me. - superman.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hi and thanks Rayofhope,

                    To be honest, I didnít expect to be put on the CAMHS waiting list, so to be told I wasnít didnít bother me, but at least Iím on the waiting list for something else rather than nothing. Considering Iím currently struggling a bit while on a 2 month waiting list, I donít know how I would have coped with an 18 month one. I donít get the fact that my friend went to their GP about mental health (lives in the same place, goes to the same doctors) only about 2 months ago and got seen by CAMHS in 5 weeks.

                    Iíll let you know how I get on with the app (I downloaded Whatís Up)

                    Pumpkin

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hey Pumpkin,

                      How's everything's going?

                      You mentioned that sometimes you have days where the voice doesn't say much and then there are days where it's on at you for everything you do. Is there anything in particular that happens on those days it gets worse? This can be easier said than done, but what can help some people is to try and talk back to the voice. For example challenging it and saying no. There's some tips on The Mix article here that might also be helpful.

                      That's great to hear the other article was helpful. Baking can be a lot of fun, what sorts of things do you like to bake?

                      You mentioned that you're thinking of going back to the GP again. If you do feel things are getting worse or you want to talk about a diagnosis, it can be helpful to go back to the GP. They might be able to offer you some more support while you're on the waiting list

                      Like Bubbles said, it's really great that you're reaching out for support. I hope the app is going well

                      All the best,

                      - Aife

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Thanks for replying Aife,

                        I’m okay thanks. When the voice is at its strongest, I tend to self-harm more to try and block it out or punish myself for doing things wrongly. I do try and talk back to it but it still keeps going. Thanks for that article, it was useful.

                        I tend to bake cupcakes and try to be creative, or make dinner for my parents. It still doesn’t take my mind off what the voice is saying, but it gives me something to focus on.

                        If things get worse, I’ll go back to the GP but I don’t want to miss any school (prelims soon) then it’ll be the holidays next week so the practice will be closed over Christmas. I don’t know if getting a diagnosis before I receive treatment will help in any way?

                        Thanks again,

                        Pumpkin
                        Last edited by The Mix; 18-12-2017, 09:47 AM. Reason: content removed

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Hi pumpkinpie,

                          Have you tried using Samaritans or 7 Cups of Tea? You can talk about anything in confidence with them, which would help you to have an outlet for your feelings and emotions. I also find it's useful to get a pen and piece of paper, and just write my thoughts down until I'm done - that helps you take them off your mind and save you mental energy, while also being therapeutic!x

                          Much love <3

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Thanks for replying Azziman,

                            I havenít actually tried using them, so I might give them a shot. In the past Iíve tried writing down how I feel but I just felt it upset me (for no reason, I know thatís pathetic) but thanks for the suggestion, I guess thereís no harm in trying it again.

                            Iím currently in a bit of a low spot, and have talked to my mum about it, and she still wants me to see a counsellor, which I know would probably be better than a GP, but I canít bring myself to contact the counsellor I emailed before (or any for that matter) and is it worthwhile seeing a counsellor when Iím already on the waiting list for another treatment? I found it easier to go to the GP before by convincing myself it was a normal doctorís appointment, but my mum just thinks they wonít be able to do anything, which is probably true but I found it easier.

                            I just donít know what to do right now, I know a counsellor would probably be better but something even I canít put my finger on stops me from contacting one, and is that the right choice? Should I waste my time going to a GP where I only have 10mins (double appointments are literally impossible to get) to try and get some support and maybe a diagnosis?

                            Sorry, that was too long

                            Pumpkin

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Hey Pumpkinpie,

                              How are you? You mentioned you were feeling like you'd hit a low spot, I'm so sorry to hear that. Do you think there's a reason why you're feeling the way you are at the moment?

                              To be honest I don't think there is a 'right choice' you should make, sometimes we need to try a few different things before finding what works best for us. Whatever you do, though, I don't feel like you are wasting your time because you are making a conscious effort to look after yourself and that's the first step to feeling better! It sounds like you would be more comfortable trying your GP first- it's probably worth doing, I can't guarantee they will help straight away as every GP is different, but if only to cross it off your list so you can move on to your next choice. Let us know how you get on?

                              I also echo @Azziman's comments on Samaritans and 7 Cups... Sorry to hear you didn't have a great experience with Childline but there are plenty other places that would be happy to help. Of course, we're all here to listen too. Well done for coming on here and opening up, hope it helps at least a little. All the best

                              - Lucy
                              Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend

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