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Expert chat: Enthusiastic Consent & Conditional Consent (Wed 21st February)

Hey everyone!

On Wednesday 21st Feb at 6.30pm, Sarah our expert, will be running an expert chat about Enthusiastic Consent and Conditional Consent.

Sarah is the co-founder of Scarlet Ladies, a community of women with the aim to destigmatise and normalise the conversation around female sexuality.

Suffering from post traumatic stress disorder after experiencing a number of traumas, including rape, Sarah is reclaiming her body by engaging in bodybuilding and powerlifting. Taking back control of her sexuality, she is currently remaining abstinent. Working and campaigning with other women for the sexual empowerment of women has been an integral part of her healing journey.


Come along and join us! Find out more here
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Vanilla features: have your say

As we move to our new boards software, Vanilla, we'll have a few new features at our disposal. We're keen to hear what you all think about them, so head here to have your say over how we'll use (or not use) some of the new features. Fill out the form before Wednesday the 21st to tell us your thoughts and have the option of joining our testing team!
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The Great Boards Migration

Great news! We're moving to new discussion boards software. Head here for the full announcement.
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Post of The Month

One-in-a-million is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Just a bit of fun here if you could create an advent calendar what would you put in it and why.

For me you would still get chocolate 😆😆
But inside each door is a task for the day. Something that includes you helping/talking to others, doing something festive and spreading Christmas cheer
For example

1. Tell your parents/carers you love them
2. Say hello when passing an OAP (that might be the only thing someone says to them all week)
3. Watch a Christmas movie
4. Help someone in need e.g put some spare change in a charity box, buy a warm drink for the homeless person who sits on the corner, dothe washing up ha ha ha😂
5 make hot chocolate
6. Visit your grandparents (if you donít already) They will more than likely love to see you.
7. Sing a Christmas song with a friend
8. Dress up in something Christmasy when you do your shopping.

You get the idea 😂😉 my reason for this is to get people in the mood and understand what Christmas actually means.

What would yours have and why."
(Click for full post )
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Depression

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  • Depression

    This is my first time writing on a forum but recently i just feel so depressed. I feel so much stress with college and i get thoughts in my head and i don't know how to shut them out i want to tell people about it but i feel like it will just hurt them i don't know what to do about it.

  • #2
    Hey Knight2000,

    Welcome to the boards firstly! You should be really proud of yourself for coming on here and sharing how you feel as this can often be difficult to do so well done! It's completely normal to feel the stress particularly in college and you're definitely not the only one struggling with this, so please don't feel alone! However, your health and wellbeing should always come first! Have you tried maybe taking a few days out to do something you really enjoy, like spending time with friends, watching a movie, eating some good food, taking part in an activity or a sport, just so you don't fee too bogged down by college work!

    It's also completely normal to be in a rut about telling people, however there is no reason for you sharing your feelings to hurt anyone, because if anyone is struggling, it is you, and you should be able to talk about your feelings! However, we are always here for you, and in case you haven't noticed, you have told someone about it... us! We are here to talk to you and to give you advice! Have you thought about speaking to a counsellor perhaps? It's understandable if you may not feel comfortable just yet, but if this is the case, there are many places to e-mail, chat to online, or call to ask for guidance and help. Because at The Mix we aren't experts, we cannot give expert advice however there are plenty of places (which we'll link) which you can go over to talk to to get more professional advice!

    Here are the links:
    - https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helplines/
    - https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-ca...you/contact-us

    We hope your day gets better and please don't hesitate to keep speaking to us! That's what we're here for! Have a lovely day and look forward to speaking to you soon!

    Drea

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    • #3
      Thank you.

      Comment


      • #4
        Welcome to the boards.
        Sorry youre feeling so depressed. But you dont need to keep it to yourself. There are many people who are willing to listen & youre not alone!

        Take care of yourself
        "Recovery is my best revenge" - Carolyn Spring "Let your past make you better not bitter" - Unknown

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        • #5
          Hi Knight2000,

          I'm sorry you're feeling like this right now but it's important to remember you're not alone in feeling this way, especially about college, many people are often in the same boat. Have you tried talking to your friends about it? Maybe you can ask them how they deal with the stress of college?

          Our mental health is something we should all try and take care of, if you feel like you need to talk to someone, you can try to talk to your friends or family, or maybe even a counsellor at college, would that be an option? Your feelings and emotions are always valid!

          -Nish

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          • #6
            Hi Knight2000,

            Welcome!x

            Sorry to hear how you feel. It sounds like you really want to tell someone, but don't feel you have an outlet. Many colleges have a counselling service - I'd really recommend seeing a counsellor, as that can really help! Or you could talk to CAMHS ( I presume you are young enough to use this, since you mention you are at college) - they are very helpful too! You're not alone in this!x

            Much love <3

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            • #7
              Hi Knight2000
              Welcome and good job for posting your thoughts!!
              When you feel really stressed and overwhelmed by a challenging period it's really important to talk, because keeping everything to yourself wouldn't help you change your feelings, so writing here was absolutely the right thing.
              I understand what you mean when you say that you are afraid that your family could suffer and that you don't want to cause them any worry.
              I have just lived some challenging moments because of university, I felt really as you are now and I didn't want to talk to my family because I was afraid they might be disappointed or worry way to much. I considered - and still am - starting therapy because I believe that an external opinion could be the best one when you just want to express your feelings and thoughts without restraints. In the end I decided to talk to my parents because they realized I wasn't okay and they were suffering because they were feeling useless and you know what? it helped me a lot, because as they are my parents they know me better than anyone else and can also understand my struggles better than anyone else! I am telling you this for two reasons, first I want you to know that you are not alone and that it is really common to feel this way during college/university and secondly because I hope it can help you consider different perspectives, such as asking your gp for advice about counseling or therapy, talking to a friend or partner (my boyfriend and bestfriends really helped me, too) and, in the end, also talking to your family because parents notice everything and helping makes them feel way better than just noticing and not being able to.
              I really hope you can feel better and you can sort everything out

              - Fran

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