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Expert chat: Enthusiastic Consent & Conditional Consent (Wed 21st February)

Hey everyone!

On Wednesday 21st Feb at 6.30pm, Sarah our expert, will be running an expert chat about Enthusiastic Consent and Conditional Consent.

Sarah is the co-founder of Scarlet Ladies, a community of women with the aim to destigmatise and normalise the conversation around female sexuality.

Suffering from post traumatic stress disorder after experiencing a number of traumas, including rape, Sarah is reclaiming her body by engaging in bodybuilding and powerlifting. Taking back control of her sexuality, she is currently remaining abstinent. Working and campaigning with other women for the sexual empowerment of women has been an integral part of her healing journey.


Come along and join us! Find out more here
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Vanilla features: have your say

As we move to our new boards software, Vanilla, we'll have a few new features at our disposal. We're keen to hear what you all think about them, so head here to have your say over how we'll use (or not use) some of the new features. Fill out the form before Wednesday the 21st to tell us your thoughts and have the option of joining our testing team!
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The Great Boards Migration

Great news! We're moving to new discussion boards software. Head here for the full announcement.
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Post of The Month

One-in-a-million is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Just a bit of fun here if you could create an advent calendar what would you put in it and why.

For me you would still get chocolate 😆😆
But inside each door is a task for the day. Something that includes you helping/talking to others, doing something festive and spreading Christmas cheer
For example

1. Tell your parents/carers you love them
2. Say hello when passing an OAP (that might be the only thing someone says to them all week)
3. Watch a Christmas movie
4. Help someone in need e.g put some spare change in a charity box, buy a warm drink for the homeless person who sits on the corner, dothe washing up ha ha ha😂
5 make hot chocolate
6. Visit your grandparents (if you donít already) They will more than likely love to see you.
7. Sing a Christmas song with a friend
8. Dress up in something Christmasy when you do your shopping.

You get the idea 😂😉 my reason for this is to get people in the mood and understand what Christmas actually means.

What would yours have and why."
(Click for full post )
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Being criticised for not drinking tea or coffee

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  • Being criticised for not drinking tea or coffee

    Many people have criticised me for drinking squash. They told me that it's for children only - and that adults drink tea and/or coffee. I've tried tea and coffee and disliked both. At several people's houses, when they offered me a drink, tea and coffee were the only options. When I asked for squash, they looked at me in a puzzled and displeased way, as though I was an alien and was asking for something unreasonable. When I then asked for water instead, they likewise thought that was weird - but eventually allowed me to drink water there. Some of them told me that they'd never before met an adult who doesn't drink tea or coffee.

    Am I in a tiny minority? Do the vast majority of people drink tea and/or coffee? Do most people stop enjoying drinking squash at a particular age? Is there an age at which people are widely considered to be too old to drink it?
    Last edited by Robert; 25-03-2017, 09:27 AM.

  • #2
    I know a loaf of people that don't drink tea or coffee. Some like hot choc but even then, rarely drink it - they prefer water or fresh juice.
    With time and support you can start to see out of that dark hole and even feel hopeful - Jo7

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    • #3
      Why do some people have an anti-squash snobbery, saying that it's childish? I can't understand why some people are puzzled and offended that I drink it rather than tea or coffee. Do many people not have any drinks in their houses other than tea and coffee?
      Last edited by Robert; 25-03-2017, 11:13 AM.

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      • #4
        My partner is a juice only guy, on the rare occasions he'll have a hot chocolate but it has to be Mexican hot chocolate
        you're certainly not alone, a lot of people where i work only like squash, it's no surprise that coffee can be really bitter and tea just isn't for everyone. besides if you get natural squash it's healthier than coffee and tea with sugar in so the jokes on them some people just don't understand that everyone has different tastes, you can always buy those little squeezey bottles of Robinsons or asda's own that you just squeeze into water so you can just keep that on you x
        "Weave me a rope that will pull me through these impossible times"
        ~ Tim Finn



        - LAINE

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        • #5
          Squash is pleasant to drink as is homemade lemonade cordial which I make from a no-fuss recipe. Squash is refreshing and doesn't contain caffeine unlike coffee and the stronger teas. Drink it without worry. Many I know enjoy a glass, especially on a hot day.

          The only concern is the extensive use of artificial sweeteners such as Aspartame and Saccarine. They can cause headaches, apparently. Sucralose which is found in Splenda is fine, as diabetics use it. Pure fruit juices can unfortunately erode our teeth if drank in quantity, but squash if naturally sweetened is okay as it doesn't generally contain lots of sugar. Squash can taste even nicer when diluted with filtered water or even mineral water.

          Coffee, incidentally, only tastes bitter when its natural oils deteriorate, so keeping ground coffee or beans in an airtight tin will keep it fresh. Don't put the tin in the fridge as the cold tends to leech the flavour away. Arabica coffee is much milder and tastes lovely poured black from a cafetiere.

          I love Mexican hot chocolate. Or any. I'll melt a bar and whisk in some milk which gets frothed, top with double cream and a large chocolate Flake to dip in. That's my little sisters' treats if they're good.
          The greatest female power is empathy to create relationships on a personal level. It's better for a woman to come across as more nurturing, more warm, and that is going to lend more success to her than for a man doing the same thing.

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          • #6
            Iím exactly the same as you! I canít stand tea or coffee so will always either say no or ask for juice if someone asks what I want to drink. The only hot drink I like is hot chocolate but only made with milk not water
            Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations

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            • #7
              Esme, perhaps you'd like to make my lemonade recipe I posted this evening? That said, I reckon you should be able to do the same using oranges. They could make a good cordial to dilute down. Now there's a thought!
              The greatest female power is empathy to create relationships on a personal level. It's better for a woman to come across as more nurturing, more warm, and that is going to lend more success to her than for a man doing the same thing.

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