Essential support for under 25s


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Expert chat: Enthusiastic Consent & Conditional Consent (Wed 21st February)

Hey everyone!

On Wednesday 21st Feb at 6.30pm, Sarah our expert, will be running an expert chat about Enthusiastic Consent and Conditional Consent.

Sarah is the co-founder of Scarlet Ladies, a community of women with the aim to destigmatise and normalise the conversation around female sexuality.

Suffering from post traumatic stress disorder after experiencing a number of traumas, including rape, Sarah is reclaiming her body by engaging in bodybuilding and powerlifting. Taking back control of her sexuality, she is currently remaining abstinent. Working and campaigning with other women for the sexual empowerment of women has been an integral part of her healing journey.

Come along and join us! Find out more here
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Vanilla features: have your say

As we move to our new boards software, Vanilla, we'll have a few new features at our disposal. We're keen to hear what you all think about them, so head here to have your say over how we'll use (or not use) some of the new features. Fill out the form before Wednesday the 21st to tell us your thoughts and have the option of joining our testing team!
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The Great Boards Migration

Great news! We're moving to new discussion boards software. Head here for the full announcement.
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Post of The Month

One-in-a-million is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Just a bit of fun here if you could create an advent calendar what would you put in it and why.

For me you would still get chocolate 😆😆
But inside each door is a task for the day. Something that includes you helping/talking to others, doing something festive and spreading Christmas cheer
For example

1. Tell your parents/carers you love them
2. Say hello when passing an OAP (that might be the only thing someone says to them all week)
3. Watch a Christmas movie
4. Help someone in need e.g put some spare change in a charity box, buy a warm drink for the homeless person who sits on the corner, dothe washing up ha ha ha😂
5 make hot chocolate
6. Visit your grandparents (if you donít already) They will more than likely love to see you.
7. Sing a Christmas song with a friend
8. Dress up in something Christmasy when you do your shopping.

You get the idea 😂😉 my reason for this is to get people in the mood and understand what Christmas actually means.

What would yours have and why."
(Click for full post )
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Eating better

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  • Eating better

    despite the fact it's silly i've had a fear of choking since i was about 9 years old and ever since i've half heartedly managed to get by food wise but there have been rough patches where i've gotten a little too thin. i've wanted help with it ever since but nobody will and now i'm 16 going on 17 i know that i won't get help, i've been trying to cope better but at the moment i've hit another tough time. i have instant egg noodles for lunch, occasionally a soup in the afternoon, a protein shake you make with milk for dinner, and warm milk with cinnamon before bed to hold off hunger. i'm relying heavily on hot chocolates, fruit pouches, and chocolate soy yogurts to trick me into thinking i'm full, and i'm honestly sick of it, i really want to get a hold of it especially for when i start college this year but i just doubt i ever will x
    "Weave me a rope that will pull me through these impossible times"
    ~ Tim Finn

    - LAINE

  • #2
    Heey Lane

    This sounds like it could be a real struggle. Maybe trying to recongnise when you feel able to eat more and sometimes not. Like is it because other people being around. And to try relaxation methods to relax your mind aand muscles.

    Is a physical problem too?. Like what happens if you try to eat solid foods - do you manage to eat it? I ask that because i have a massive fear of taking pills when I'm not distressed and i physically cant swallow one. Anxiety can tenses your muscles. And then that would probably just mean your more likely to choke on your food.

    It's great that you're trying to eat more. Maybe just slowly eat more each time. And coming to terms with that its it's unlikely you'll be choking on it.

    I dont think your age would stop you getting yhe help. Especially if your losing weight fast. And if you want to gain weight and get better ? Or is it more than just the fear of choking because you put - you trick your self into thinking your full?

    Knowing that it's just a fear and wont happen is a great start. Because my fear of taking pills is really bad cause I end up believing one pill will make me sick at the time.

    BEAT may be of some help ? Sorry if I've completely miss understood or had no help.
    Last edited by Shaunie; 13-05-2017, 04:41 PM.
    "Recovery is my best revenge" - Carolyn Spring "Let your past make you better not bitter" - Unknown


    • #3
      Thanks very much Shaunie!
      I find it much more relaxing when people are around so they can give me the Heimlich or call ambulance, I physically can't eat if I'm alone, I do distract myself by watching something whole eating which helps with the thought's but trying new things is very hard, I do get physical choking sensations either because of my anxiety or because of my silent reflux which definitely doesn't help. Its more that I've seeked help 4 times and they haven't helped me with it, I'm not the happiest with my weight but I know its just chubbiness that needs toning up and its mainly my (pardon my tmi) my breasts. I'm only just the right weight ad I used to be under, I just trick myself into feeling full so I don't have to deal with hunger pains x
      "Weave me a rope that will pull me through these impossible times"
      ~ Tim Finn

      - LAINE


      • #4
        Ah that makes sense.
        Distractions sounds like a good help. Have you tried eating really slowly. I know it's not the same but i get told to do things like put the pill in my mouth for a while then I realise it's not harming me yet & so my throat would feel less tight and can swallow it more easier & less likely to gag or whatever. Maybe could try that with some hard food like sweets? Or/to healthier foods And just not rush it because aderaline/forcing it - probably makes it worse.

        That's really shit-sorry to hear you haven't got any help. Must be something really bothering you to try four times therapy would help and even more so (im guessjng) something happened when you was 9 to cause the fear? Or finding the reason why you started fearing it so much could help. Being so anxious/fearful is horrible and losing weight & not eating can cause many health problems so i hope you get out the rough patch soon! x
        Last edited by Shaunie; 13-05-2017, 09:56 PM.
        "Recovery is my best revenge" - Carolyn Spring "Let your past make you better not bitter" - Unknown


        • #5
          Thanks very much Shaunie i do really appreciate it x i feel like sometimes people shrug it off because its a "silly fear to have" i've never full blown choked but i have had many of those incidences where food goes down really slowly if you get what i mean? which could of caused it x
          i've moved onto 2 protein shakes a day now and i'm managing soup again so hopefully i'll get there one day
          "Weave me a rope that will pull me through these impossible times"
          ~ Tim Finn

          - LAINE


          • #6
            How are things at the moment, Lane? I didn't see this thread tucked away here. Need to be more watchful.
            Taking care of yourself takes care of more than just yourself.


            • #7
              Hey Mike! things are basically the same, still eating once maybe twice a day, my dinner being a protein shake.
              "Weave me a rope that will pull me through these impossible times"
              ~ Tim Finn

              - LAINE


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