Essential support for under 25s


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Expert chat: Enthusiastic Consent & Conditional Consent (Wed 21st February)

Hey everyone!

On Wednesday 21st Feb at 6.30pm, Sarah our expert, will be running an expert chat about Enthusiastic Consent and Conditional Consent.

Sarah is the co-founder of Scarlet Ladies, a community of women with the aim to destigmatise and normalise the conversation around female sexuality.

Suffering from post traumatic stress disorder after experiencing a number of traumas, including rape, Sarah is reclaiming her body by engaging in bodybuilding and powerlifting. Taking back control of her sexuality, she is currently remaining abstinent. Working and campaigning with other women for the sexual empowerment of women has been an integral part of her healing journey.

Come along and join us! Find out more here
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Vanilla features: have your say

As we move to our new boards software, Vanilla, we'll have a few new features at our disposal. We're keen to hear what you all think about them, so head here to have your say over how we'll use (or not use) some of the new features. Fill out the form before Wednesday the 21st to tell us your thoughts and have the option of joining our testing team!
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The Great Boards Migration

Great news! We're moving to new discussion boards software. Head here for the full announcement.
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Post of The Month

One-in-a-million is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Just a bit of fun here if you could create an advent calendar what would you put in it and why.

For me you would still get chocolate 😆😆
But inside each door is a task for the day. Something that includes you helping/talking to others, doing something festive and spreading Christmas cheer
For example

1. Tell your parents/carers you love them
2. Say hello when passing an OAP (that might be the only thing someone says to them all week)
3. Watch a Christmas movie
4. Help someone in need e.g put some spare change in a charity box, buy a warm drink for the homeless person who sits on the corner, dothe washing up ha ha ha😂
5 make hot chocolate
6. Visit your grandparents (if you donít already) They will more than likely love to see you.
7. Sing a Christmas song with a friend
8. Dress up in something Christmasy when you do your shopping.

You get the idea 😂😉 my reason for this is to get people in the mood and understand what Christmas actually means.

What would yours have and why."
(Click for full post )
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Stand up to cancer!!! Shaved all my head for charity today!!!

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  • Stand up to cancer!!! Shaved all my head for charity today!!!

    My cousin was diagnosed with cancer back in Jan and recently he started his chemo. Anyway today I took the brave decision to shave my head for cancer research. I raised £350 for the charity but now I regret having it done so much as it really doesn't suit me.
    ​What can I do because I feel awful about having it done and just feel the need to stay in all the time until it grows back

  • #2
    hey laura,

    wow what a lovely thing to do - sorry you are feeling awful about it now. Try to remember why you did that in the first place as it's for a good cause. You can't make your hair grow back so be confident in yourself and proud that you raised money for a good charity.


    • #3
      Hey Laura

      That's such a lovely and brave thing to do lovely!

      Have you thought about changing the negative thinking from I don't know if I like my hair short to how brave and a lovely thing that was to do.

      Also maybe wearing a wig? If you aren't comfortable with short hair.
      I dont want a signature.


      • #4
        Hey Laura,
        Well done for doing that, you're very brave! Not a lot of people do that so you should be very proud of yourself! I personally think you can pull anything off if you wear it with confidence! Own the short hair and make it your own style! Just remember that it grows back and it probably wont take long to grow back either! Hope you're feeling a bit better about it today. Could just be a case of getting used to it because of the sudden change in hairstyle
        I'm sure you look amazing!


        • #5
          Hi Jellyelephant. Thank you so much for the reply means a lot. Yeah I know it was a brave thing to do but at the time i felt like doing it to support my cousin. I have regretted it ever since but I'm doing what you said and trying to remember why i did it in the first place. Ill try and be confidence with the way i look but at the moments its so not like me to look like this!! Im proud that I raised the money even though I regret it after having it done.

          ​Hi Lostsense. Thanks for the reply. Thanks for saying it was a lovely and brave thing to do, it wasn't easy at all. I'm trying to change the negativity to positive thoughts but at the moment its not easy especially as before I had really long hair and then when I recently had it cut it was then a long bob style so having it completely shaved off was a massive step for me. I might have to wear a wig ill see how quickly I get used to it, thanks

          ​Hi Drea. Thanks for the reply. Thanks for saying I'm brave for doing it and yeah I know not a lot of people would do it and I' am proud in myself for doing it but its just a shock now with how different I look. Yeah ill try and be confidence with the new style but I don't know if I like it, I guess its just getting used to the sudden change especially as I said on the lostsense part of this reply that my hair was long before and then even when it was a long bob style it was still at least shoulder length, it just feels so strange not having any hair!!!!! thanks for saying I probably look amazing but I don't thing so!

          ​Thank you for all your replies and I hope I receive more. Its helping so much with what you all have put!


          • #6
            Well done Laura <3 <3 hair will grow back but you'll always remember the money you raised


            • #7
              thanks Sammy for the reply, yeah I know my hair will grow back, I still haven't got used to it yet. Yeah I just have to think about the money ive raised.


              • #8
                Hope your doing okay Laura💙💜
                I dont want a signature.


                • #9
                  not really Lostsense, private message me


                  • #10
                    Hey laura,
                    I know that it feels horrible right now mainly because of your body image problems, I can relate so much to that and wish I had the advice to give you on that, but you've got to remember the reason you shaved all of your hair of for, it was for such a great cause, it was an amazing thing you did, well done, that's a lot of money to raise, it's amazing.
                    Alice xx


                    • #11
                      Hey Pink and fluffy. Yeh it does feel horrible right now and it doesn't help that ive had problems with my self image before because of bad experiences which has lowed my self confidence so much. Yeh I did it for a good cause but I still regret it so much. I hope I will better about it soon but I still don't at the moment. Thanks for saying that it was an amazing thing to do


                      • #12
                        Have you looked into wearing a wig or wearing a hat or something, anything to make you feel better?


                        • #13
                          I have thought about wearing a wig but at the same time I feel that I should just be proud with what ive done because at the end of my day I'm doing it to help my cousin


                          • #14
                            Yeah, that's a great way of thinking ☺☺


                            • #15
                              yeah I'm trying to think like that but at the same time its hard because of the how I feel about myself especially because of past experinces


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