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Chatwee Update

Update - There's been some technical difficulties launching Chatwee onto our website so we will not be moving to Chatwee on Thursday.

As soon as we fix this issue, we'll announce another date for launching. We're really sorry for the delay in Chatwee, thanks so much for your patience.
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Post of The Month (September)

Maisy is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Hey Shaunie,

​I care. I really relate to what you have been experiencing with the house falling apart, and things not getting fixed due to general shame of the state of the house and not knowing where to begin fixing things or who to contact (you don't want to come across rogue tradesmen). Not even having adequate heating and hot water. And clutter. Everywhere. It's horrible to live in such circumstances, I know. It's hard as well when you see everyone else living a 'normal' life and yet being unable to talk about your situation."
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Cutting hair after rape

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  • Cutting hair after rape

    So those of you that watch Hollyoaks knows that Ellie got raped and she cut her hair. I speak with a lot of survivors of rape and we all seem to have that one simularity that each of us has cut our hair after being raped wether it be a fully shaved or just trimmed it. I wonder why that is? It would be an interesting study to find out why we do after rape. I know theres a few of us on here aswell and I'm interested in asking if you have too.
    Last edited by Lostsense; 19-03-2017, 08:05 PM.
    'Why are you trying to fit in be born to stand out'

  • #2
    I shaved off all the hair on one side of my head lol.... looked awful! :P I guess its something to do with feeling like a different person after, self esteem, struggling to look in the mirror and see the same person staring back at you when you know something is fundamentally different inside.

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    • #3
      I guess people cut their hair/shave to feel different and look different and not remain the same person from the past experience and try move on by feeling/looking different. It may build confidence and feeling strong by overcoming the past experience and i am guessing cutting hair is one of the ways to feel new.

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      • #4
        Hey yeah got a hair cut after think it helped me feel better more like i could look forward

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        • #5

          as a survivor of rape I cut my hair short in order to look like a different person and help me grow in confidence after going through a truamaic experience. I couldn't look at myself in the same way after what I went through. anyone that is struggling to come to grips with being raped whereas if it was recently or a long ago I'm here to listen to anyone

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          • #6
            Hi

            I think perhaps some people do it to regain some semblance of control. After experiencing such a trauma it sometimes feels difficult to feel as though you are in control of your life but cutting your hair is a relatively easy way to remind yourself that it's you who has control over your body.

            It might also be a way to temporarily distance yourself from the person you were when it occurred. When something traumatic happens it's easy to focus entirely on that when you see yourself so separating your appearance from the time when the trauma occurred and after can help people not focus on it so much when they see themselves.

            Lals

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            • #7
              I didnt cut my hair, but I did dye it a different colour, I wanted to look different. I didn't want to look in the mirror and see 'that girl'
              'My worst days in recovery are better than the best days in relapse.' - Kate Le Page

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              • #8
                I changed my hair from brunette to blonde as a form of dissiciation. But, after being even more objectified, I decided to cut it short and revert to brown hair. I was repeatedly hit on by married men and hated by jealous women. The triggering event was persecution from my female vice principal. She denied a legitimate personal necessity day I took due to my car problems. It was her discretion, but she'd have approved it for someone else. Last year, she tipped her hand by accusing me of flirting with a friend of hers who is a married CHP officer. Then, she tried to play it off as a joke. Now, I don't feel as attractive, but also not as vulnerable. Some women, like Linor Abargil of the movie Brave Miss World, have chosen to cover their hair up.

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