Essential support for under 25s


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Expert chat: Enthusiastic Consent & Conditional Consent (Wed 21st February)

Hey everyone!

On Wednesday 21st Feb at 6.30pm, Sarah our expert, will be running an expert chat about Enthusiastic Consent and Conditional Consent.

Sarah is the co-founder of Scarlet Ladies, a community of women with the aim to destigmatise and normalise the conversation around female sexuality.

Suffering from post traumatic stress disorder after experiencing a number of traumas, including rape, Sarah is reclaiming her body by engaging in bodybuilding and powerlifting. Taking back control of her sexuality, she is currently remaining abstinent. Working and campaigning with other women for the sexual empowerment of women has been an integral part of her healing journey.

Come along and join us! Find out more here
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Vanilla features: have your say

As we move to our new boards software, Vanilla, we'll have a few new features at our disposal. We're keen to hear what you all think about them, so head here to have your say over how we'll use (or not use) some of the new features. Fill out the form before Wednesday the 21st to tell us your thoughts and have the option of joining our testing team!
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The Great Boards Migration

Great news! We're moving to new discussion boards software. Head here for the full announcement.
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Post of The Month

One-in-a-million is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Just a bit of fun here if you could create an advent calendar what would you put in it and why.

For me you would still get chocolate 😆😆
But inside each door is a task for the day. Something that includes you helping/talking to others, doing something festive and spreading Christmas cheer
For example

1. Tell your parents/carers you love them
2. Say hello when passing an OAP (that might be the only thing someone says to them all week)
3. Watch a Christmas movie
4. Help someone in need e.g put some spare change in a charity box, buy a warm drink for the homeless person who sits on the corner, dothe washing up ha ha ha😂
5 make hot chocolate
6. Visit your grandparents (if you donít already) They will more than likely love to see you.
7. Sing a Christmas song with a friend
8. Dress up in something Christmasy when you do your shopping.

You get the idea 😂😉 my reason for this is to get people in the mood and understand what Christmas actually means.

What would yours have and why."
(Click for full post )
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Share your body image story

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  • Share your body image story

    Hey guys,
    I'm wanting to create a positive space online where so much self comparison happens constantly. Mental Health issues are on the rise and social media is the most likely culprit as we look to others for how to be and how we want to be which can have so many pressures.

    I really would love stories from you all on something you didn't love about yourself, why this was, and how you've overcome this. By sharing these stories we can help others love themselves. We need more positivity on social media! If you could get involved and share without your name being used I want to create accompanying artworks/photographs that represent your story.

    Thank you <3
    Last edited by luna96; 30-10-2017, 04:25 PM.

  • #2
    Hey Luna

    Great idea! Mine's a bit of a funny one. I used to have a 'friend', growing up, that would always mention how massive my hips are (cheers, 'friend') - looking back this is pretty bad, but she used to play Shakiras song 'hips don't lie' to me all the time thinking it was funny I was pretty self conscious about it while at school. When I went into 6th form and uni and didn't see her anymore... No one mentioned it anymore and actually I just completely forgot about it. I'm laughing looking back at it!

    I overcame that by just focusing on other things (life's too short!!!!) and I realised over time there was and is absolutely nothing wrong with my hips

    - Lucy
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend


    • #3
      Hey, thanks for the response!

      Oh my god no way haha! When you look back at friendships as a kid you are baffled sometimes, and the whole point of the song was embracing the hips as well :O

      Glad you're embracing the hell out of them now b <3


      • #4
        I dislike social media because all it takes is for someone to post something hurtful, and down plummets my self-esteem. Here at TheMix forums peeps are lovely and good natured, tolerant and patient. Never known such a super forum and chat where I've been made such welcome.

        Now, when I feel very down or unable to 'give' or be supportive to the ever-growing demands of family and Mum, I'll go and work out in our home gym, or run up and down stairs, pressups, weights and skipping. I'm not muscular or butch-looking, but very fit. When annoyed I'll don sparring gloves and take out my frustration on the home punchball, or have an hour's shredding on my guitar (providing Mum is out, lest my ears get a batting!) Having home schooled I've not experienced any claptrap from my people at school and suchlike, and very little girl drama. But I know I look good in my long hair though ignore wolf whistles, these always coming from tourists, usually Brit blokes.

        Was in chat last night when I noticed my chosen avatar looked remarkably like me. Only without the scar on one side of my face as it's always carefully concealed before I step out the door. I had a cycling accident, swerving to avoid a nutter motorist, I piled into a hawthorn hedge. Though glad to have worn wrap-around protective sunglasses and a cycling helmet, it looked like I'd been attacked by a cat. I had many stitches. That was a year ago, but I got tremendous support from my partner and family. Okay, I've always been very sensitive to people staring as that's natural. Recently some bratty kid remarked on my facial scar which got him and his mum the death stare. Since then I've put a bit more on, and feel okay. And today is a new day. Smile at the sun!
        Last edited by Princesa; 28-11-2017, 01:02 PM.
        The greatest female power is empathy to create relationships on a personal level. It's better for a woman to come across as more nurturing, more warm, and that is going to lend more success to her than for a man doing the same thing.


        • #5
          This is an amazing idea you guys! Thank you to you all for sharing your stories too, it's inspiring to see people overcome things like negative body image and to embrace their individuality.

          I myself struggled with food from the age of thirteen having grown up in competitive sports, particularly track and field. By this age training was intense and I was competing almost every weekend, so was constantly pushing my body to the limit and comparing myself to other girls, who like myself, felt as though we were 'expected' to wear the tiny, tight nike pros worn and competition crop tops worn by professional athletes. This was the norm, and constantly hearing comments in training and on the start lines led me to believe that you had to be in perfect shape to fit in with these girls. And in my head I was definitely not the perfect shape.

          After years of problems with food regarding restriction and unhealthy weight loss, I have finally reached a point in my life where I am happy with my body. I still have days and periods of time where I wonder if I need to lose weight, but I know that I am proud of my body and what it has achieved because it is the machine that drives me through my amazingly crazy but beautiful life, and it is the machine that carries me round the track, propelling me over hurdles week in week out. It didn't happen over night, but I have slowly began to realise that I would rather radiate positivity than negativity, and I cannot do that with a negative attitude towards myself. Surrounding myself with positive people and those who make me feel good about myself has definitely helped me in this!

          I hope yous all had an amazing day and have a great holiday!

          Rachel x
          (P.S. sorry for the crazy long response )


          • #6
            According to Jules I've got an "hour glass figure". Nice of her, but I'm quite fit though don't exercise much except taking the dog for walks and swimming. I eat well, but tend to eat a lot because I have a high metabolism. Thanks to an aunt who taught me self defence, I can look after myself and this ability came in handy against some bully boys.

            I like making breakfasts and nice cakes because not only is cooking a hobby, but I'm into good nutrition and that leads to a healthier life and lifstyle. Trouble is, I'm always hungry.
            "Seconds of your life are ticking away. If someone says that there's a rule - break it! That's the only thing that moves things forward."
            -Hans Zimmer.


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