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Expert chat: Enthusiastic Consent & Conditional Consent (Wed 21st February)

Hey everyone!

On Wednesday 21st Feb at 6.30pm, Sarah our expert, will be running an expert chat about Enthusiastic Consent and Conditional Consent.

Sarah is the co-founder of Scarlet Ladies, a community of women with the aim to destigmatise and normalise the conversation around female sexuality.

Suffering from post traumatic stress disorder after experiencing a number of traumas, including rape, Sarah is reclaiming her body by engaging in bodybuilding and powerlifting. Taking back control of her sexuality, she is currently remaining abstinent. Working and campaigning with other women for the sexual empowerment of women has been an integral part of her healing journey.


Come along and join us! Find out more here
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Vanilla features: have your say

As we move to our new boards software, Vanilla, we'll have a few new features at our disposal. We're keen to hear what you all think about them, so head here to have your say over how we'll use (or not use) some of the new features. Fill out the form before Wednesday the 21st to tell us your thoughts and have the option of joining our testing team!
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The Great Boards Migration

Great news! We're moving to new discussion boards software. Head here for the full announcement.
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Post of The Month

One-in-a-million is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Just a bit of fun here if you could create an advent calendar what would you put in it and why.

For me you would still get chocolate 😆😆
But inside each door is a task for the day. Something that includes you helping/talking to others, doing something festive and spreading Christmas cheer
For example

1. Tell your parents/carers you love them
2. Say hello when passing an OAP (that might be the only thing someone says to them all week)
3. Watch a Christmas movie
4. Help someone in need e.g put some spare change in a charity box, buy a warm drink for the homeless person who sits on the corner, dothe washing up ha ha ha😂
5 make hot chocolate
6. Visit your grandparents (if you donít already) They will more than likely love to see you.
7. Sing a Christmas song with a friend
8. Dress up in something Christmasy when you do your shopping.

You get the idea 😂😉 my reason for this is to get people in the mood and understand what Christmas actually means.

What would yours have and why."
(Click for full post )
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Go away Gold Digger, I'm Broke.

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  • Go away Gold Digger, I'm Broke.

    I always used to say that I would never (ever) get a credit card. My decision of this was based upon my mum and how she'd brought me up.
    "Don't spend the money you don't have." would be the phrase that would stick in my mind. But now I'm older I realise that it isn't as simple as that and I have magically found myself in this massive money-less ditch.

    I have a flat and I also have a boyfriend. While on housing benefit (despite working 40+ hours a week) my boyfriend doesn't work. He left his job with no safety net and I said that was okay. I mean, he had looked after me when I was unemployed for a few months so I had no problem returning the favour. He left because he worked nights and we suspect he's got anxiety. I could SEE his discomfort and we both agreed that he needed to leave for the sake of his well-being. However, a year later and still no job and now I am really scraping the barrel.

    A lot of people think he's mugging me off and he's just with me for a free ride. It's not that, I know it's not, but I believe he has a lot of deep-rooted issues that is stopping him from getting out there and getting a job. I admit- I don't think I helped him when I said it was okay for him to leave his job but at the time I thought I had his best interest at heart. Now I can see that we acted only thinking of the short-term benefits.

    I'm sure you can imagine what types of effects it has had on me. With a boyfriend at home playing games all day, working 40+ hours a week, cooking, cleaning and paying all the bills. The only word that doesn't come close to describing it to its full extent is 'STRESSED', capital letters and all, bold and double underlined.
    Yes, we have discussed it and no, we haven't got any further than that. At the moment our current status is MIGHT get a job in September and I'm holding onto hope.

    Nevertheless I'm creating realistic plans to crawl my way out of this ditch, with mud under my nails. and when I get out I will beam a huge smile, deeply sigh with relief and scrub those damn nails of mine.
    Last edited by peachy; 05-06-2017, 05:09 PM.

  • #2
    Hi peachy,

    I'm sorry this situation is causing you so much stress. Money can be one of the hardest things for people to talk about, particularly in relationships. You're taking a great step by discussing him getting a job, and there seems to be a plan in place. Have you tried talking to your boyfriend about seeing someone for his anxiety? Finding someone who he can talk to about his issues might help him get back on track.

    Hope this is helpful,
    -Kathleen

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    • #3
      Hi Kathleen, thank you.
      You've been truly helpful. I'll start discussing with him the idea of going to the doctor. I just think he doesn't really want to have anxiety and avoiding the diagnosis would mean that he doesn't suffer from it when in reality that's not the case.

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      • #4
        Hi peachy!

        Just wanted to check in. How are things going with your boyfriend?

        -Kathleen

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