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Post of The Month (August)

Meggles is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"my recent post and a comment from another user has made me realise that self care is so important.

I wanted to start a thread in the Health and Wellbeing section of the boards about self care.

Self care is provided by you, for you

I know a lot of us are struggling at the moment with different aspects of our own lives, and sometimes we get so lost in these we forget to take time for ourselves. This tread is, a Reminder to you to take time out for yourself during the difficult times.

down in the comments I would really love for people to share ideas and tips about self- care. to remind ourselves and others in the community.

My way of self care when i recognise ( or someone recognises i have neglected myself) is:

Take a walk and admire whats around me ( take as long as needed)
treat myself to a bath with a bathbomb and bubbles ( bubbles are important)
make a hot drink and just sit down with a film.

Please feel free to share your ideas!

The Mix have a guide to self-care which you can find here."
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Slow passionate love making

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  • Slow passionate love making

    My boyfriends always had hard fast sex with me .
    Is there a way i can start it off passionately and to give him the message this is how i want it to be without telling him ??? i just want him to fall into the moment and be slow soft and passionate . any ideas ?

  • #2
    I'll bet not.

    I'd be careful about using passionate, to many that can imply hard and fast - perhaps sensual?
    I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most;
    'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all.


    • #3
      and bad means good these days.
      I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most;
      'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all.


      • #4
        sensual might be a better choice of word.
        I know why the caged bird sings, Only joy comes from song
        She's so rare and beautiful to others, Why not just set her free
        So she can fly, fly, fly
        Spreadin' her wings and her song
        Let her fly, fly fly
        For the whole world to see


        • #5
          Slow, passionate sex is boring.
          Yes I'm on the dance floor, fuck that cool shit!


          • #6
            Originally posted by Smokey Ware
            But i think if i said to anyone fancy some "sensual sex" they'd be like ummm what?
            perhaps "romantic" then.

            But none of this helps the OP (except advising against asking their partner to be more passionate)

            Perhaps you could try taking some control - perhaps by holding yourself against him you cold stop him from being so fast? I don't know.
            I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most;
            'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all.


            • #7
              it is a bit awkward hah. I think I've just said "let's take it slow tonight babe" all seductively.
              I hear you're blowing like a feather, and then they rub it in your face


              • #8
                not really too sure what to suggest as everybody is different but i will give it ago!
                if your laying flat and hes on top, try holding his hips or bum and taking control by pushing against them with your hands pushing him and pulling him slowly. he should get the message. if not, try laying so your both on your backs in a V shape, legs entwined however fits best, as your legs and lower body would be on top of his, youd have more control... I find going on top is better for me as again im in control.
                im the same, hard and fast doesnt really do much for me, i like a mixture of slow and passionate then hard and fast... then slow... etc...
                with my boyfriend (as he likes it hard and fast) i just simply told him i prefere it slower, if you do tell your partner be careful with choice of words.... try not to use "i dont like...." because this may offend... also if you tell him you dont like hard and fast and ask him to do passionate and he doesnt like it slow or passionate he might think "well what about me?" you have to get the perfect mixture...
                My boyfriend was completly fine and happy id told him, if i hadnt he wouldnt have even known! now, we have fantastic sex with a mixture that suits both of us. If you have a close relationship with your partner, discussing these things shouldnt be a problem!
                I find for me sometimes i like it slow because it seems more romantic and i prefere to feel intimate and romantic with a boyfriend rather than banging each others brains out as you might a one night stand? not sure if anyone will understand that, again its just personal opinion.
                good luck x
                ♪ Lets Have Some Fun, This Beat Is Sick, I Wanna Take A Ride On Your Disco Stick


                • #9
                  cant you ask him? Ive occasionally said to my bf that i fancied it slower and more lovemakey than just sex tonight.


                  • #10
                    You need to get on top of him and take full control!


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