Essential support for under 25s


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Support Circles on Sundays

Hey everyone,

We're going to be running support circles once a month on a Sunday! At the moment they run on Tuesdays, but for one of those Tuesdays, each month they will be running on a Sunday instead.

This next Sunday support circle will be on 26 November. If you'd like to come along, (sign up by completing the form here )
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Chatwee Update

Update - There's been some technical difficulties launching Chatwee onto our website so we will not be moving to Chatwee on Thursday.

As soon as we fix this issue, we'll announce another date for launching. We're really sorry for the delay in Chatwee, thanks so much for your patience.
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Post of The Month (September)

Maisy is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Hey Shaunie,

​I care. I really relate to what you have been experiencing with the house falling apart, and things not getting fixed due to general shame of the state of the house and not knowing where to begin fixing things or who to contact (you don't want to come across rogue tradesmen). Not even having adequate heating and hot water. And clutter. Everywhere. It's horrible to live in such circumstances, I know. It's hard as well when you see everyone else living a 'normal' life and yet being unable to talk about your situation."
(Click for full post )
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Boyfriend upset about his christmas present....

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  • Boyfriend upset about his christmas present....

    My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 9 months now. When christmas time came around we were constantly talking about what gifts to buy each other. I happen to love many things, which was easier on him cause I am not picky and I love everything. My boyfriend on the other hand would not tell me anything, and is rather very picky. He only likes certain things. It wasn't until 4 days before christmas that he told me he wanted a Hermes cologne, which I purchased. I knew he loved cashmere shirts and would always look at them when we went shopping, and the brand Vince, so I went searching for one for him to add to his gift. Online I happened to find a really nice cashmere shirt from Vince, normally retailing at $295 for about $65 which i purchased... I also had found a cashmere cardigan by Michael Kors for $150 from Macys, which i was going to buy until he told me he doesn't wear michael kors, and they had sold out. I was also looking into some nice peacocks, but he couldn't wear it since he is allergic to wool, so I just stuck with the shirt and cologne which both together cost about $200. The Eve of chrsitmas eve he had mentioned that he wanted a money clip and was looking at a few by Mont Blanc, Gucci, Cartier, etc... Not having much time I went to bloomingdales looking for the clips but they were completely sold out, being christmas eve and all. So I left and just wrapped up what I already had. He spent about $300 on me because he bought me a purse I've been wanting and some shoes I've had my eye on.... Today he found out I purchased the shirt from a saks outlet store for $65 and was really upset that i bought it from an outlet store. I am upset at him for this because I think it's ridiculous. I had the hardest time trying to find a gift he would like since he wouldn't give me much to work with until last minute. A gift shouldn't be about the money spent on it, but the thought put into it. I don't like that he is being so materialistic and shallow about it, and never expected it from him. Don't get me wrong, I would be more then glad to buy anything he wanted, but he didn't want anything I could get. If I were in he's shoes I would be happy that he found something I like for such a good deal without spending much on it. I also do not really work so I don't have much money to spend. Am I wrong for what I did?
    Last edited by bachignerxx; 27-12-2015, 06:42 AM.

  • #2
    I think he's in the wrong. It's not the money. it's the thought that counts. I'd be happy that my partner is someone who was the sort of person who is clearly looking for a bargain.


    • #3
      Originally posted by Melian View Post
      I think he's in the wrong. It's not the money. it's the thought that counts. I'd be happy that my partner is someone who was the sort of person who is clearly looking for a bargain.
      I agree it's the thought that counts. Your not in the wrong at all.
      Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I will try again tomorrow

      Think ability, not disability


      • #4
        Hey, agree with others that you're not in the wrong or to blame for your boyfriends reaction. However, sounds like that's not necessarily the key thing here right now - perhaps it's more that even though you know you did the best you could for him, it still hurts to know he's unhappy and dissatisfied with your efforts - and knowing how to understand why he's reacted in this way could be really tough.

        We've got a Love Smart tool that you could explore for some insights if you enjoy getting info/advice in this kind of format:

        You may also want to take some time to think about the best way to express yourself knowing that his response possibly relates to issues you may not know anything about, it's not necessarily about digging into that, but more about letting him know you feel hurt and giving him the space to reflect on his behaviour towards you.

        You may also find it helpful to explore love languages - perhaps your boyfriend puts all his energy into gifts as representing love without realizing that others don't necessarily feel the same way? Particularly as it sounds like you're quite pragmatic about these kinds of things recognizing that getting into debt for the sake of a frivolous gift usually isn't worth it! It's amazing how much emotion can be attached to money though - it's up there in the top 5 reasons for couples arguing so you're not alone.

        Hope some of this is helpful, do come back to us if you'd like to explore this further.

        Best of luck!
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        "I love standing on a crowded platform in a tube station and feeling like I'm insignificant in all of this. All these people and lives I have no idea about. Gives me a sense of better perspective."



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