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Post of The Month (September)

Maisy is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Hey Shaunie,

​I care. I really relate to what you have been experiencing with the house falling apart, and things not getting fixed due to general shame of the state of the house and not knowing where to begin fixing things or who to contact (you don't want to come across rogue tradesmen). Not even having adequate heating and hot water. And clutter. Everywhere. It's horrible to live in such circumstances, I know. It's hard as well when you see everyone else living a 'normal' life and yet being unable to talk about your situation."
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My mother hates me

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  • My mother hates me

    Ive never gotten along with my mother, over the years shes been verbally and physically abusing me. Since i moved in with my grandparents she only verbally abuses me. When she does it she literally doesnt have a reason, she just finds a small pathetic point about me and does it. Like today she came storming into my bedroom and started shouting at me, okay my room was a little messy but who's isnt?, she started yelling at me telling me i didnt deserve anything that she was ashamed of me because i have blue hair, she said i need to go see someone like a doctor for my brain because she thinks ive got a mental issue. She brings me down everyday. I lost my grandad in august and since then she gets worse, ive spoken to my gran but she just takes her part. She knows what kind of life ive had cus of her. My uncle says that my mum is jealous of me because of the attention i used to get from my grandad, that she used to but then she "grew out of it" by the time she was 12 and didnt want to be seen with him. My grandad was like a father to me and i just wish he was here to help me like he used to. My mother is so nasty with me i used to cut because of her words. She always comments on my weight or anything i do, shes just pure vile.i really wish i had a nice loving mother.

  • #2
    That doesn't sound good at all. Im happy to talk if you ever need a listening ear

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    • #3
      Thanks

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      • #4
        Awww whydontyoulikeme this really reinforced your paragraph and your username. Your statement is mum why don't you like me. Which is sad to read. Have you said this to your mum and that she really brings you down?
        'Why are you trying to fit in be born to stand out'

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        • #5
          No cus she doesnt care

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          • #6
            Try to avoid your mother - she clearly chooses to victimise you; she's a bad parent and a bad person. Is your mother horrible to other people as well?

            Do you get on well with your grandmother?
            Last edited by Robert; 05-01-2017, 07:39 PM.

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            • #7
              Hi Whydontyoulikeme, how are you getting on this week? sorry to hear that you are going through a tough time with your mum. And do remember this is not your fault.

              It's encouraging that you tried reaching out to your grandmother, but you may find that it is better to talk to someone outside the family as they will not want to take sides - Do you have any close friends or someone you can trust (at school or college?) to talk this through?

              Opening up on here is a great start and as I can see you've had some good support so far.

              NSPCC have some great resources and info, if you need further help. Have a look here: https://www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-...e-and-neglect/ \

              If you would like to someone directly, worried for your safety, and are under 18, you can call: 0800 1111

              We are all here to support you, and do keep us updated if it helps.

              Sending hugs

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              • #8
                The OP's profile says she's 19, so not young enough for Childline or the NSPCC to help her.

                Yes, talking to someone separate from the family, whom you trust, is a good idea.

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                • #9
                  Hello, whydon'tyoulikeme,
                  Has anything changed for the better since you're initial post in Jan? I hope so, but if not there are a few things you could try if the suggestion of avoiding your Mother is'nt possible! You could actually decide that as an individual you do not have to accept any tirade of abuse directed towards you, because the minute you believe the insults they have made their impact. Try seeing your Mother as an individual elsewhere, would you accept treatment such as this from anyone else? The thing with parents is that 'we expect' them to like us, from the moment of our birth it is them that we look to for everything, but what if as an individual themselves they haven't got the capacity personally to fulfill that need, therefore guilt can kick in which they may not been able to handle and you actually become their constant reminder of continued failing to love & nurture as a mother is 'expected to thereby you actually receive the wrath of that self imposed guilt they have within themselves. If they have always got away with how they treat you it will have become habit now so short sharp shock is needed, next time just simply say" I'm not listening because you are not describing who I am, your only describing what you think I am & it's not the same, then go out do something peaceful take a walk, find solace in your bravery to act courageously calm & firm in circumstances that normally upset you. Don't play over her insults to you in your head because they Do Not Describe You. Find a piece of music to listen to when your low, I can suggest No Matter What You Do-Olivia Newton John off her Gaia album, it will help you get past the hurt & help you cope & deal with future tirades which as you strengthen within will occur less. I hope you read this post & believe yourself withy enough to try & then view your Mother with compassion for her lacking toward you, it's not your fault some people just don't know about caring for anothers feelings before they vent their frustrations of lacking within.

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                  • #10
                    Hey Whydontyoulikeme,

                    Hope you're having a better day today. What's happening to you is definitely not okay and you're comfortable enough, it may be a good idea to report what is going on since this is abusive behaviour that you're experiencing. It might be good to visit http://www.supportline.org.uk/ and possibly talk to someone and see what they think. If you are over 18, then you are technically and adult so it could also be worth contacting the police and telling them. We are here to support you along the way so please do not feel like you're alone!

                    Drea

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