Essential support for under 25s


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Vanilla features: have your say

As we move to our new boards software, Vanilla, we'll have a few new features at our disposal. We're keen to hear what you all think about them, so head here to have your say over how we'll use (or not use) some of the new features. Fill out the form before Wednesday the 21st to tell us your thoughts and have the option of joining our testing team!
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The Great Boards Migration

Great news! We're moving to new discussion boards software. Head here for the full announcement.
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Post of The Month

One-in-a-million is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Just a bit of fun here if you could create an advent calendar what would you put in it and why.

For me you would still get chocolate 😆😆
But inside each door is a task for the day. Something that includes you helping/talking to others, doing something festive and spreading Christmas cheer
For example

1. Tell your parents/carers you love them
2. Say hello when passing an OAP (that might be the only thing someone says to them all week)
3. Watch a Christmas movie
4. Help someone in need e.g put some spare change in a charity box, buy a warm drink for the homeless person who sits on the corner, dothe washing up ha ha ha😂
5 make hot chocolate
6. Visit your grandparents (if you donít already) They will more than likely love to see you.
7. Sing a Christmas song with a friend
8. Dress up in something Christmasy when you do your shopping.

You get the idea 😂😉 my reason for this is to get people in the mood and understand what Christmas actually means.

What would yours have and why."
(Click for full post )
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Family stress

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  • #16
    Hi Shaunie

    It's good to hear that you now have an idea of when they will arrive, how are you feeling about the visit now - it's soon isn't it? Hopefully your dad might have some time to reflect while he's away from home, whether he talks about it or not.

    I'm not surprised you aren't mega excited for their visit, especially if you don't see them much, is there anything that would make you feel more comfortable with them being around? Could you look to book a table for a meal out, for example, or an activity where you don't have to talk too much (cinema, bowling or something) that gets everyone out the house for a bit? I also find board games are good for family get-togethers, no matter how boring they seem! What do you think?

    How's everything else?

    - Lucy
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend


    • #17
      They have been round since monday and it hastn been too bad. They are really funny people so has been actually really good and did go for a meal out and we did play board games today.

      Hasnt really been that awkward except im so confused to what they know and what they dont know. By the conversations i think they just think that where my mum lives is just filled with loads of things and is cluttered . And think that we left because my mum hoards stuff and is a cluttered house. Which is true but its a lot more than that and we left the house because it didnt have the basic needs like a bathroom. But my dad is bringing up the conversatio like hes not ashamed about it. Even if they only think that, its still embarrassing anyway.

      I think they getting annoyed just seeing him go to the shop to buy her food and stuff and going to give it to her. Its embarassing. How obsessed he is over her, like the only thing he cares about and how everything he says and does has to fit around her.

      My mum hasnt just stayed where she lives and she came to see them and it was pretty awkward when she nearly accidenly slipped up about how much of a tramp she is. Which was weird to see her realise and to stop speaking cause she knew what she was about to say. Like so she does know it is not normal so why does she convice herself and us that it is. But then cant even admit it when others are around. Probs just denial
      Last edited by Shaunie; 24-10-2017, 11:28 PM.
      "Recovery is my best revenge" - Carolyn Spring "Let your past make you better not bitter" - Unknown


      • #18
        Hi Shaunie,

        Sounds like it has been ok with them coming around and maybe not as bad as expected. How you feeling about everything at the moment?

        It can be confusing trying to work out what someone knows without bringing up the conversation to much and having to go into more depth about the situation. I know you said before that you thought they might go and see her at home, has this happened or do you think that because they know its cluttered they won't go around?

        It sounds like your dad is trying to support your mum a lot which sounds like it is hard for you as a family.

        Here for you and well done for opening up and talking about how you think things are.

        You're much stronger than you think you are. Trust me. - superman.


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