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Maisy is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Hey Shaunie,

​I care. I really relate to what you have been experiencing with the house falling apart, and things not getting fixed due to general shame of the state of the house and not knowing where to begin fixing things or who to contact (you don't want to come across rogue tradesmen). Not even having adequate heating and hot water. And clutter. Everywhere. It's horrible to live in such circumstances, I know. It's hard as well when you see everyone else living a 'normal' life and yet being unable to talk about your situation."
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Long distance relationships - how can you make them work?

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  • Long distance relationships - how can you make them work?



    Hey everyone,

    Having a successful long distance relationship is possible, but it can be difficult. How do you maintain a happy loving relationship despite long distances?

    Look forward to hearing your thoughts!

    - Aife


  • #2
    Great topic Aife

    I believe there are many key components that are vital in not just a long distance relationship but also in relationships in general.

    Communication: Is a definite must. Its basically the foundation that keeps your relationship on its feet. And most importantly so, how can any partner know or help you through a difficult time if you don't relay your concerns and be honest about what's troubling you? equal communication is very important and its okay to get a little busy or distracted but its vital you at least let them know and they won't take it to heart.

    Trust: Another vital part. It can be hard for some if you don't have trust, especially when they can't see you everyday. Some people might be worried that you may find someone better or someone who lives closer. But honestly I believe that no matter the format no matter how close or far, If you love one another then it is exactly the same as any relationship. Make sure you establish trust early in the relationship and reinforce it. If there's no trust then that can be a problem.

    Respect: Not a long distance relationship specific but still a must in any relationship.

    Planning: Let's be honest we all get a little busy especially with work and such. But its really easy to figure out what free time you have in a day and reserving that for them. Even if its just at dinner or unwinding before bed. You can eat dinner together or talk before you fall asleep. No matter how simple its important you talk. The same goes for time off. If you have a week or few where you're both free its important to plan out early so you can both visit each other.

    Keep the love going: Many argue "I love you" just simply isn't enough but its still a vital part. remember to let them know how much they mean to you. Do simple gestures. Send them some things or cards through the mail. Spontaneously do or send things that reminds them that in this busy ever changing world, you are still thinking of them.

    But most importantly.

    Enjoy it: Some do argue its difficult and sometimes it can be. But don't let opinions or anyone get in your way. Enjoy each others company, personality, quirks, humor.
    enjoy the relationship.

    Happy Galloping
    Last edited by Laine; 27-10-2017, 06:19 PM.
    "Weave me a rope that will pull me through these impossible times"
    ~ Tim Finn



    - LAINE

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    • #3
      Great topic idea,

      I think that the key thing with long distance relationships and making sure they work is communication, there are many other aspects that keep the relationship working which laine shared above which are also very important.

      Communication with your partner means that you are able to know if there is something which isn't working in the relationship but you are also able to find all the great things about the relationship which you are in. Communication can be varied through different methods for example maybe for everyday communication you may text each other but for conversation which you want to be longer may be over the phone or through a skype or facetime. Communicate and enjoy the relationship you are in, sometimes it might be difficult.

      Rayofhope
      You're much stronger than you think you are. Trust me. - superman.

      Comment


      • #4
        Long distance relationships can be tricky, there are many key things that encourage such relationship to work.

        I think we are very lucky with how advanced with technology we are. The use of technology enables great long distance communication! such as use of Skype, facebook, whatsapp etc. Communication is a key for any relationship in general. Being able to have good communication enables great discussions, getting to know each other, sharing whats going on and also being comfortable to raise any issues within the relationship. its also important not to be really excessive with communication, for example feeling you have to talk every minute of the day, In my opinion, I feel this can make the relationship feel strained for example if one is at work and the other is constantly messaging, it can come across as a bit clingy if that makes sense ( not sure ive got my wording right).

        Be creative with communication too!

        when in a long distance relationships, its a bit more challenging to go out and go on dates together, this is why i love how advanced we are with out technology! through the use of Skype for example and some planning, dates can be arranged, for example watching a film together, having dinner together, although not physically together, it can feel nice to spend such quality time together doing the same thing.

        Be honest with each other, be honest about what your fears are, jealousy etc, being open and honest can allow your partner to support you and help you through these feelings, they also may feel like this too.

        stay positive about the relationship, although long distance is challenging and really hard not being able to see your partner, by keeping positive it can keep the relationship going, it also makes those times you visit together much more romantic and fun. be thankful that someone loves you, and you love someone.


        meggles

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        • #5
          I would definitely say that a long distance relationship needs maintenance. This may initially sound like a negative thing, but what I really mean is it needs commitment and work from both sides.

          Long phone calls and skype calls are the really important. This can often be a lot better for extended and concise conversations than just text messaging, where you can't really quite gauge how the over person feels/what they are trying to communicate.

          Because you are not seeing each other as often as you would when its not long distance, little gestures can go a long way and show you're thinking about the other person. I hate to say this, but a lot of gestures can be carried out over social media. For example, when me and my boyfriend were apart from each other we would send snapchats to each other a lot, and tag eachother in stupid things on facebook. This can sometimes be really meaningful, like tagging someone in an event comment section saying something like 'You love this band, we should go together'. I think little gestures in your downtime can just show that even though you are procrastinating, the other person is on your mind.

          Comment


          • #6
            Hey everyone!


            ​There are definitely some ace replies here and I have to agree with you all!

            I think it's obvious that communication is key. Like Meggles mentioned, there is so much technology around nowadays that it is so easy to connect with someone across the world. Whether you text or write to each other, call and speak through voice or video message to actually see one another, it keeps you connected in every way. This is whats going to keep the spark going. Make it fun, learn about each other, share stories, pictures and videos. This is how you are both going to learn about each other and build on the relationship. It's also going to help the other person know what's going on in your life, how your are feeling and what you want. You don't have to overwhelm each other as this can be damaging too, so I've found that a once a day chat in the evenings is nice.

            ​This bring me on to keeping it exciting!​ Evening chats and little dates are a great way to keep things alive, exciting and romantic. Again, you'll learn about each other here and explore the relationship. These are great to have once a week where you can set a time, set a date and really make it special. Like a virtual date!

            ​Then, if money allows, there's making the effort to meet.​ I know that this can't always be the case, but so long as you work towards meeting at some point in the year, it shows that you want to see one another and gives you something to look forward to. This can be from once a month to meeting for Christmas. When my partner and I were apart in the early stages of our relationship, sometimes we'd surprise one another with an early train journey or plan to meet spontaneously that week. I think it really kept our relationship alive and showed us both that we really wanted to see each other.

            ​This helped with our trust.​ It can be so hard to trust somebody that is miles away. You aren't sure what they are doing, where they are etc. But so long as you are doing the other 3 things above, trust will come with them, just like in any other relationship, even in person. We don't always trust straight away but so long as we reassure one another, have good communication and are honest then you know that the other person wants to make the relationship work and want to be with you.

            If you're both committed to making the relationship work, and want to be together, just enjoy it all. If you've found someone and they're worth it, stick with it even when times are hard or lonely. Because at some point in the future, you'll end up being in the same place together and the distance won't last forever. Besides, sometimes being long distance can give us the opportunity to travel and explore the world. It's a big place and there's no better way than to explore it with someone you love.


            -PositiveAura


            Comment


            • #7
              Meggles I completely agree with what you've said about technology. There are actually a whole bunch of websites and apps made for LDRs that me and my partner use, like Rabbit, where you can browse the web (and watch things!) with anyone who connects to your 'room'. It has video and voice and chat, so you can communicate any way you want while you're watching things. Another thing I find helpful is playing games together. It makes the relationship wayyyy more fun! Being far apart, it's hard to send each other presents for birthdays and Christmas. You can also get over this problem by buying each other gifts in-game, and then there's no shipping fee!

              With the trust thing, it's definitely important. Personally, from day 1 we said to each other that there was to be no lying, and it's definitely helped. Making time for each other is also important. I try to spend as much time as I can with my partner, which ends up being only a few hours after school each day, because of how many revision sessions I'm going to now with mocks coming up. That reminds me, I better go do some revision!

              Comment


              • #8
                A close friend of my family has beeen in a long distance relationship for some time, but the couple use Skype to natter regularly on, they phone each other and keep emailing, and so far this has been going well for them both. They meet whenever they can and are supportive. It may be possible for the guy to work remotely from home as his girlfriend is doing a PhD at university, so next year might finally get to live together. They are completely trusting of one-another and patient which frankly, in a long distance relationship is a virtue. Both hunker down into their work and get t meet during public holidays. I have every hope they will get together come spring next year, but their regular use of Skype has been positively their relationship saver.
                The greatest female power is empathy to create relationships on a personal level. It's better for a woman to come across as more nurturing, more warm, and that is going to lend more success to her than for a man doing the same thing.

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