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Post of The Month

Jellyelephant is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Hey Abi,

Please don't be sorry. Have you ever heard of the phrase "You can't pour from an empty cup"? I feel like this applies here. You need to look after yourself before you can start caring for other people. I know you know all about self care so I won't go on, but try and practise it a little, the way you encourage others to. It's great that you have other skills too, I know music is one of your passions in life and hopefully by studying it that can help you get to where you want to be. Take all the time you need, you don't have to support people in SC all of the time - chat is there to support you too when you are going through difficult times.

Take care of yourself

Jelly x"
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jealousy

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  • jealousy

    Hello i am new to this so don't really know how it works, i just need some advice on my jealousy i hat my girlfriend uploading photos on Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat because of the attention she gets, we have a baby on the way and it's destroying us! CAn someone a dress this problem ?

  • #2
    Hey sammy1997, and welcome to the community. Glad you found us. Just a heads up that I moved your thread from Start Here to Sex & Relationships where it should get seen more easily.

    Well done for coming here and opening up to us. Jealousy in particular can be really tough to talk about, so this is a really positive step for you to take. It might be helpful for us to know a bit more about what's going on - have you spoken to your girlfriend about how you feel? If so, how did that go down?

    Jealous can be a really nasty force in any relationship, and oftentimes it can be rooted in our own feelings, self-esteem and many other things. And there's a chance that the jealousy here could be a symptom of a wider relationship issue - how are things with you and your girlfriend, aside from this? Would you say you were both generally happy? Are you getting what you want from the relationship?

    It sounds like there might be a lot on the line for you here, particularly with a baby on the way, so well done again for talking to us. I realise there are a lot of questions in there, so I hope it's not too much! Hopefully we can help you explore this with a bit more context.
    Taking care of yourself takes care of more than just yourself.

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    • #3
      Hi sammy1997!

      Welcome to The Mix

      I completely agree with everything Mike has said. While jealousy is a natural emotion, it can be really horrible to control and cause many problems in our relationships. It must be particularly troubling with the pregnancy, so it's really admirable that you're opening up on this here, rather than bottling it all up!

      Hopefully, these feelings, and any other things it may have stemmed from (such as self-esteem), can be addressed fully with any further information.

      -peachysoo

      Comment


      • #4
        Heya sammy1997

        Jealousy is such a tough emotion, and we all experience it!

        I think the best thing to do would be to talk to her, and say that perhaps you feel she is seeking affirmation from other people slightly too much (if you think she is perhaps posting more than average recently). When I say seeking affirmation, I mean that she is seeking attention from others and their approval of her social life/looks/choices etc. You never know, this may actually be something to do with her feeling insecure, and wanting approval from others (in the form of 'likes' etc). Its always best to just tell her how you feel- the likelihood is that she will then open up to you about why she posts photos a lot, and she may not be at all aware that her frequent posts are making you feel a bit overlooked.

        good luck!

        Comment


        • #5
          Hi sammy1997,

          You need to communicate your concerns to her. Talk about her actions and how it makes you feel. That way, you work together towards a solution that you are both part of!x

          Much love <3

          Comment


          • #6
            Hi sammy1997

            Thank you for your post, jealousy is a really interesting topic to discuss however I understand how difficult it can sometimes be to confront it.

            I wonder if you could explain why you feel jealous of other people reacting to your girlfriend's pictures? After all no matter how they react you must remember it's you she has chosen to be with and start a family with so everyone reacting to her social media posts are, on the whole, on the periphery. Most people post on social media, myself included, and I can honestly say I pay very little attention to who reacts to it. Does your girlfriend often draw attention to how many people are reacting to her pictures/who is reacting to her pictures?

            Jealousy is a horrible emotion to deal with though and I think it's really helpful that you're seeking advise on it. Firstly, please don't let it ruin your relationship, I would highly recommend that you speak to your girlfriend and communicate how you're feeling but try to do it in a calm way, when you're both feeling open to discussion. It would also be helpful to diagnose why feelings of jealousy are manifesting - whether it's due to self esteem, lack of trust, past experiences - there are many different reasons as to why jealousy can form but once you've diagnosed why it's happening to you it becomes much easier to stop.

            Finally, I learnt this a while ago and it may not work for everyone but I have to say I've found it really helpful. Whenever you're annoyed about something take a breath and leave it for an hour or so, do something else - watch a show you like, bake, play a game, whatever you want - and then if you still feel as annoyed after that highlight it as an issue to your partner.

            Hope that helps and best of luck with it all.

            Lals

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