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Chatwee Update

Update - There's been some technical difficulties launching Chatwee onto our website so we will not be moving to Chatwee on Thursday.

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Post of The Month (September)

Maisy is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Hey Shaunie,

​I care. I really relate to what you have been experiencing with the house falling apart, and things not getting fixed due to general shame of the state of the house and not knowing where to begin fixing things or who to contact (you don't want to come across rogue tradesmen). Not even having adequate heating and hot water. And clutter. Everywhere. It's horrible to live in such circumstances, I know. It's hard as well when you see everyone else living a 'normal' life and yet being unable to talk about your situation."
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Will he come back to me?

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  • Will he come back to me?

    I don't know what to do, im completely lost.
    I've been in this relationship for almost 2 yearsand my boyfriends dad recently died, since then he has become completely distant and doesn't talk to me the way we used to. A couple of weeks ago he asked to go on a break and when i asked why, he couldn't give an answer but continued to claim that he still loves me and wants to get back with me later on.
    We became a couple fairly younge so neither of us really had alot of experience with other ppl before getting together. I know he would have liked to have fullfilled that desire before, but now im scared he is gonna go off and experiment with other ppl and never come back to me.
    i was contacting him too frequently on our break so ive decided to leave him alone to give him the chance to miss me.
    i know he needs time to heal over his fathers death, but im scared he wont return to me because he may enjoy single life too much.
    should i just move on, when im not ready to give up on the love of my life?

  • #2
    Matt is right, give him his space and if he really loves you and wants to get back together he will come to you


    • #3
      It didn't work
      he wanted a break coz he met someone else and for three weeks he led me on.
      i had trouble getting past that he told me about his new girl in a text message, i needed closure so i text him to ask if we could talk for a bit to say our final words and he told me that he never loved me and that i was a joke and neede to get a life and stay out of his.
      i know there is no going back now, but that doesn't help my confindence moving on in a new relationship. How could he say something like that, if he never loved me then he wasted 21 months with me, i want him to be happy, and maybe friends one day but i never thought he would be like this. im so confused.


      • #4
        That's a very harsh thing to say.

        Really sorry to hear that mate, I know it's not what you want to hear, but we've all been there, and you do get through it. Theres always going to be one that gets hurt in a break up, and eventually it tends to be hostile from one side. Hope you're ok, you will be in time, promise!


        • #5
          Im so sorry!!!!!!

          That was a very cruel way to end things after such a long time together!!!



          • #6
            now it gets even more confusing. i spoke to his new girlfriend and she is currently breaking up with him because she finds their relationship is just a friendship and her heart belongs to someone else.
            she also thinks that he needs to be with me, so now i have a slight hope he may come back.
            his girlfriend is so nice, we have become friends and instead of feeling lonely and wanting to contact him i now talk to her, maybe i should move on from him and stay friends with her.
            i want him to hurt the way i am but i know he is very confused and that since his dad died he feels lost, thats why he went with someone straight after him and i were over.
            am i just being foolish?


            • #7
              if i give him space and not contact him will he remember all our good times and miss me and want to come back?
              he was very vauge with his reasons for breaking up
              i still have hope


              • #8
                i sent him a msg today just saying that ive been going out and having fun and he hasn't replied yet


                • #9
                  Originally posted by pelin
                  if i give him space and not contact him will he remember all our good times and miss me and want to come back?
                  he was very vauge with his reasons for breaking up
                  i still have hope
                  Hey Pelin,

                  Your ex will never forget the good times, but at the same time if he has decided that he wants to move on then no amount of reminscing is likely to change his mind. Sometimes people don't have clear reasons why they want to break up with someone, they have simply decided that it doesn't feel right for them anymore and this can be very hard to accept.

                  Obviously I don't know whether your man will decide to try to get back with you, but the most important thing is that you start to feel better about your situation by preparing for the possiblilty that he might not . Even if he doesn't want to get back with you it doesn't mean he is not hurting and he is bound to experience a period of grief and need as much space as possible.

                  I think many of us can sympathise with wanting to text someone constantly and crave contact with them of any kind, which unfortunately in the long run can be very damaging. At the same time you shouldn't beat yourself up about what has happened so far - you have every right to feel upset and confused.

                  Here are two articles that you might like to read First article and second one here

                  Take good care of yourself
                  Become a fan of on facebook

                  "I love standing on a crowded platform in a tube station and feeling like I'm insignificant in all of this. All these people and lives I have no idea about. Gives me a sense of better perspective."



                  • #10
                    Originally posted by pelin
                    he told me that he never loved me
                    I've had that one. It fucking sucks monkeys, I know.

                    If you want to chat, drop me a PM, and I'll be more than happy to talk with you x
                    ...there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in.

                    'Franki is a wise one. Even if she hides it well sometimes' ~ Scary Monster
                    'that's because you're perfect Franki' ~ Broken-Angel
                    'I salute you Franki' ~ **helen**
                    'I agree with everything that Franki has said' ~ Melian
                    'You're a genius' ~ piccolo
                    'Franki's right as usual' ~ James


                    • #11
                      i've become content with not needing him the way i did, ive learnt to let go a little during this time, and ive discovered how much i do respect and trust him, i know if we gave our relationship another try it wll be more fullfilling and therefore more sucessful. I have respected his decision and left him alone. I text him yesterday just a friendly one to leave the impression that im not upset at the way he treated me and that in the future im willing to be friends. I hope this will make him reconsider us again. I know he is really hurting at the moment because of his dads death, i want to give him space but i want him to know that above all i still care about him and want to help him during his lonely times. I hope im going about this the right way, i don't want to loose him, but i have accepted they i may have and that he will no longer be apart of my life.
                      im very confused still


                      • #12
                        ok a new twist.
                        i was on msn and he was on and he begun a conversation, just asking if he was a good kisser coz this new girl he is with thinks he is great, is there a new gril or is he trying to get a rise out of me? would u ask a girl u broke up with 1 week ago a question like that?
                        again he was being harsh when he didn't need to by pointing out that his mum liked me, but not anymore. he has changed alot and i don't think i want to be with him, he has become horrible.


                        • #13
                          well fuck him then (not litterally lol). If he wants to be an arse then just walk away and dont let him get to you. im quite good at hiding emotions and if anyone ever did that to me i'd just let them know i didnt give a shit about them and just carry on with my life as normal. sure it would hurt inside, of course it would but then he obviously still has some sort of feelings for you or he wouldnt waste his time being nasty. just let him get on with it and walk away mate!


                          • #14
                            im finally content on moving on. I figured that i tried everything i could to get my relationship back to normal at the time and nothing worked, so now i know i will never regret anything, i tried all i could, he is the one who will one day look back and start asking questions. Im moving on, and im planning to be single for a while, im not ready for a relationship, and i want to be happy on my own before going into anything. I finally feel in control of my life.


                            • #15
                              Owch. That guy sounds like a bit of an arsehole. But it does seem like you've come out of it with a new understanding...rather quickly too
                              A)- d-_-b

                              B)- how u make that inverted b?
                              B)- wait
                              B)- never mind

                              Avatar courtesy of Icey


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