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Post of The Month (September)

Maisy is our Post of The Month winner voted by the community for the following post:

"Hey Shaunie,

​I care. I really relate to what you have been experiencing with the house falling apart, and things not getting fixed due to general shame of the state of the house and not knowing where to begin fixing things or who to contact (you don't want to come across rogue tradesmen). Not even having adequate heating and hot water. And clutter. Everywhere. It's horrible to live in such circumstances, I know. It's hard as well when you see everyone else living a 'normal' life and yet being unable to talk about your situation."
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Work- Awkard conversation with manager on Friday 10th!

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  • Work- Awkard conversation with manager on Friday 10th!

    so on Friday when I was at work (7;30am-11;30am) a manager came up to me when I was on the shop floor putting out stock when the shop wasn't open and asked for a private chat so she took me up to admin office and spoke to me. What the manager said was the fact that she was worried about me because when she saw me on the Thursday she said I wasn't myself and even when she asked me if I was ok and I said yes she was like I know you weren't okay. Also she said she was worried about my health because she said that I lost quite a bit of weight since she lost saw me and she was like is everything ok and I was like ok thanks just going through stuff family wise and she was like ok look after yourself .

    ​The thing is since she has noticed about my weight I don't know if work should be aware about the fact I'm anorexic, please give me any advice.

    ​Also on Friday when I went back to Brownies after being away for 4ish weeks the Brownie leader asked for a private chat and was like I'm worried because you have lost quite a bit of weight since I last saw you and she also asked me if I was ok and I was like yeah got family stuff that's all and she was like I know what you are going through is hard but try and be strong and look after yourself.

    ​In both of these situations I don't know if they should be aware about my illness
    Last edited by Laura12345; 13-03-2017, 11:25 PM.

  • #2
    Idk about work, someone else is way better at advising on that than me.

    As for brownies leader i'd say that it's not necessary, unless a situation occurs where you all gotta eat together, like a group dinner or multiple-day field trip. Or it gets so bad that physical health begins to interfere with brownies work. In either of those situations, do tell them, otherwise I wouldn't think they need to know.
    Why didn't you just shout i'm lonely and i'm looking for a place to go ~ Where everything's an embrace and everybody wants to know


    • #3
      Ok don't worry about not giving me advice on work hopefully someone else can
      ​As for the brownies bit there isn't likely to be a time when we have to eat together so it should be okay to keep it from them for a while. what do u mean by `if it gets bad that physical health begins to interfere with brownies work`
      I'm guessing you mean not to tell them and that you had a spelling mistake!!!


      • #4
        Originally posted by Laura12345 View Post
        what do u mean by `if it gets bad that physical health begins to interfere with brownies work`
        As in, if you get to the point where you faint during the day, or find yourself unable to do strenuous activties that you are asked to do without hurting yourself (e.g. anything that can be classed as extensive exercise) then it's time to tell them.
        Why didn't you just shout i'm lonely and i'm looking for a place to go ~ Where everything's an embrace and everybody wants to know


        • #5
          Hi thanks for the reply. ok thanks for clarifying that for me , I don't want work to know at the moment, I just don't want work to think I'm not able enough to do my job probably


          • #6
            Some employers discriminate against people on health grounds. I'm not aware of any law or rule that says that you have to tell anyone at either place. If you're still doing things well, you can keep it to yourself.

            If you're underweight, people are likely to notice that. If you're significantly underweight, you may need help in regard to that.

            Is this manager the same one who had a problem with you earlier this year?
            Last edited by Robert; 15-03-2017, 03:58 AM.


            • #7
              Hi Robert. thanks for the reply. I know the manager just wanted to check I was okay but it has now had the opposite effect and made me feel worse about going to work. That's good because I don't want either place to know about my illness. I am able to still do my job so it should be okay not to tell anyone for now. I am underweight but I'm getting help as they said I'm at the early stages of being anorexic but I'm getting that sorted before it gets worse. The manager is a different manager, not the one that has had a problem with me before.


              • #8
                Hi Laura,

                Great that you're using the boards to get support for this! It's definitely up to you to decide what is best for you. Although, perhaps consider the possible support your manager or brownies leader could give you in keeping yourself accountable and making sure you take lunch and have enough time to eat a proper meal. It's just a thought. As uncomfortable as the conversations may have been, it sounds like you have many people there to look out for you, which is really positive.

                How are you feeling today?
                - Mica


                • #9
                  Hi Mica. I don't really want to tell a manager or the Brownie leader about it at the moment. Yeh the conversations have made me feel unconfortable and I know they are trying to help me but its hard to speak about . I don't want to tell them because there isn't likely to be a time when I need to eat with them. I need to speak to a manager at work today anyway linked to another situation at work (see bad weekend at work post) so if I feel comfortable I might bring it up then but if not I will keep it to myself and only tell someone when I think its necessary.

                  ​Not feeling good about myself right now too be honest as another comment was made at work yesterday that made me feel self conscious. At the moment I don't feel I want to work


                  • #10
                    Hi. An update on everything. On Friday at Brownies I spoke to the Brownie leader about being underweight but she misheard and thought I was moving away because of my cousin and for me to keep her updated, since Friday ive sent her an email to explain what I actually said so I will see what she replies to it. I'm nervous about going back to work on Wednesday because I'm still feeling really self conscious and right now got a lot on my mind and don't feel I can deal with work.


                    • #11
                      Hey laura,

                      Thanks for the update. That was really brave of your to open up to your brownie leader, so pat yourself on the back for that! Hopefully being honest with her will make you feel more at ease around her.
                      I'm sorry to hear work is still making you self-conscious. While easier said than done, you might try to remind yourself that people tend to be very caught up in their own worlds, especially at work when they're busy, so it's more than likely that they aren't noticing your body because they are so wrapped up in their own thoughts. Because we live in our own heads, it's easy to feel like the whole world is watching when in fact everyone is equally distracted.

                      Thanks again for getting back to us. Wishing you the best at work. If you'd like, let us know how the brownie leader responds to your email.

                      - Mica


                      • #12
                        Hey Mica. thanks for the reply. Yeh I felt it was about time to open up to the Brownie leader because of the fact I'm starting to get really self conscious again because of my weight. Yeh it will make me feel better now that I have been open with her so ill wait and see what happens when she replies to the email and I will let you know what the response is. Yeh I'm still really self conscious at work because of my weight but also the fact that one of the managers has spoken to me about my weight. I'm nervous about going back to work on Wednesday,


                        • #13
                          Hey Laura,

                          Just wanted to wish you the best at work today! Hope you're able to feel a little less self conscious.

                          - Mica


                          • #14
                            thanks Mica for the reply. I'm not feeling good about myself right now and the news from my scan hasn't helped matters. I'm feeling really emotional still and don't know if I`ll have the confidence to hand the note in to my manager today about what I'm going through.


                            • #15
                              Hi All x An update on work things. I did manage to hand in the note to one of the managers on Wednesday last week about my cousins illness and the fact that I thought it would be easier to be off tills for a while and have my own section to focus on as a distraction and she said she was glad that I brought it to her attention because she knows I haven't been myself at work recently and now she knows why she said she wants to be able to help as much as possible, she said she would pass it on to the manager for downstairs and see if its possible for that to happen. On Saturday however I had a meeting with the downstairs manager (in earlier posts this is the same manager that I reported!!!) and she said I was making excuses for wanting to be off tills as she said I've always been a happy strong confident person at work that she thought I was making it up about my cousins illness. When she said this the comment hurt so much and too be honest I didn't want her to know in the first place about my cousin but the manager I gave the letter to said I should tell her because she is the manager for downstairs. When she spoke to me on Saturday what she was trying to get out of me about my cousin was making it harder and harder for me to speak to her and also made it harder to control my emotions. Ever since she made the comment on Saturday it has really hurt me and hasn't made work easy. Yesterday as soon as I got to work my supervisors could see I wasn't myself and they said they would keep me oft tills as much as possible because they both know that's the worse place for me to be when I'm not feeling good. I got annoyed with certain members of staff yesterday and I feel bad for doing it as they had done nothing wrong, I did apologise to them however and they said it was ok as they knew it wasn't my fault that I got at them because they could tell I wasn't in a good mood. One of the members of staff really opened up to me yesterday and too be honest I feel really bad for him for some of the things he said to me. I still lack so much self confidence too be honest and also because of my scan results on the 22/3 I still don't feel good about things. I have opened up to a few members of staff at work about the result of the scan and they are keeping it to themselves and are being as supportive as they possibly can!

                              ​An update on letting the Brownie leader know, she still hasn't replied to my email that I sent her on the 17/3 and she is normally pretty good at replying to my emails so I don't know if its because she hasn't seen it yet or if its because she has seen it and forgotten to reply. Either way I don't know what she thinks about the situation which is making me anxious about going to Brownies on Friday. I didn't go the Friday just gone because I was at a music concert.

                              ​Would appreciate as many replies as possible, thanks everyone for all your support so far x


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