How I coped with anxiety after being assaulted

Harmony suffered anxiety and depression after being assaulted. She explains how she finally opened up to her family after ending up in hospital.

True Stories

girl in hoodie

Sometimes the people closest to you are the hardest to talk to.

Just before the start of university, I found myself in a situation where I was assaulted. After that, I couldn’t concentrate or socialise normally and my levels of anxiety were really high. Around the same time, my sister and best friend both moved away to different countries, so the two people I felt comfortable talking to were no longer present in my life and I began to feel very isolated.

There was no one I could talk to

The biggest barrier I faced was keeping my problem a secret for so long. I didn’t talk about how much the assault was affecting my daily life and kept trying to push my feelings away. I ended up getting too depressed to keep going. I felt overwhelmed and nobody realised things had gotten so bad until I ended up in hospital.

Following this period I started working on my communication skills and began to explain my feelings in greater depth. I think seeing how upset my family were when I ended up in hospital, spurred me on to discuss what had happened. Seeing myself sink that low made me want to change, I knew I used to be happy and I wanted to get that back. Opening up can still prove to be tricky sometimes, but I found writing things down or pre-planning what I needed to say quite beneficial. It helped to reach out and admit that I needed extra support.

I was able to talk to my mum about my feelings and I called my sister occasionally. As my family began to realise there was a problem they tried to help me by reminding me to look after myself, emotionally and physically. Even though I found it difficult to open up, this support gave me some breathing room.

Keeping busy and finding distractions

Going to work really helped me. I got a job through my university, and worked with other people my age who were also juggling student life and work. I didn’t feel comfortable discussing what had happened with my peers, but it helped to have friendly support. I felt as if I was part of a team and it gave me time away from my own thoughts. Dealing with my anxiety took a lot of willpower; I had to force myself out of the house, I got through that by trying to make my journey to work more pleasant, by listening to music and reading, this didn’t always work, but it helped to have something to focus on. I also found spending time with my pets quite therapeutic.

Looking back on it I feel my own lack of communication skills got in the way of finding support, I didn’t know how to explain to my doctor or my tutor what I was going through and I wasn’t sure what kind of reaction I would get if I did, so I decided to stay quiet. Also in retrospect, I feel as though not much consideration is given to students’ emotional state when they go to university. It can be a huge leap and change, filled with various stresses, that I don’t think are taken into account.

What would I say to others experiencing anxiety?

Try not to judge yourself for having the feelings in the first place, as that can just lead you into a downward spiral. It’s healthier to get the feelings out, even if they seem silly, the feelings are there for a reason! Having a healthy way of working through them might not make the problem go away, but it can give you some room to think a bit more clearly.

It helps to have a private way of getting your feelings out as well as talking to others. If you can talk to a professional, a trusted friend, or family member, then take the opportunity to explain things to them as best you can. The most important thing my situation taught me was to stop bottling things up.

Picture posed by model from Shutterstock.

Next Steps

  • Our Crisis Messenger provides free, 24/7 crisis support across the UK. If you’re aged 25 or under, you can text THEMIX to 85258
  • AnxietyUK run helplines, email support, live chats and therapy services for people with anxiety disorders. 08444 775 774
  • Rape Crisis offers support and advice to victims of rape and sexual assault, no matter how long ago the attack was. 0808 802 99 99
  • Chat about this subject on our Discussion Boards.

By Harmony

Updated on 29-Sep-2015