I hate my life

So you hate your life? Maybe you look online and everybody else’s life seems so much better. Or perhaps you’re fed up of working so hard and getting nowhere. Whatever the reason, you’re not the only one.

man in hoody leaning against a wall with head down

Sometimes you just want to hide away.

Life can be pretty crappy. You’re constantly told being young means having the time of your life, but instead you’re stressing about jobs, exams, being single, your relationship… It never feels fair; life never seems to let up.

“Life can be difficult sometimes,” says Helen Cleather from mental health charity SANE. “It’s normal to be impacted by it, but there are things we can do about it, too.”

If you’re stuck in a rut and it feels like things won’t ever get better, then it’s time to work out what’s wrong and take some control.

Why do you hate your life?

It sounds silly, but take the time to really think about this.

What is it that makes you so sad and angry? Can you pinpoint it? Give yourself some space to work it out: get away from the TV and switch off your phone so you can actually sit, think and work out what’s going wrong. Don’t be afraid to vent either; write your feelings down, talk to a friend or do something physical, like screaming into a pillow. It’s better out than in.

What can you change and what can’t you change?

While some aspects of your life are totally in your control, other bits, unfortunately, aren’t. But if you can change the bits that are making you feel shite, then why don’t you?

If you’re on the wrong career path, for example, consider changing your college course, or try to find a new job. You could try volunteering? Or if your love life’s non-existent you could sign up for online dating.

Of course, you don’t have to make huge changes, but even small things can make life more fun or purposeful. And if you can’t mend what’s bothering you, at least do other things that make you happy around it, like hanging out with friends.

Talk to people

We promise you won’t be the only one who hates their life sometimes; it’s just that no one talks about it. Have open conversations with people to get things of your chest and ask their advice.

“Be honest about how you’re feeling,” says Helen. “Your friends will be able to relate to a lot of it.”

If you’re feeling really awful, and you’re really not sure why, you should speak to your GP. They can help you get counselling or other treatment for what you’re going through.

Look after yourself

“Try to eat well and sleep well. Do the everyday things people forget about that are good for you,” says Helen.

It’s easy to ignore things like eating healthily or doing exercise… and instead get pissed all the time and eat crap. But you’ll feel even worse if you don’t take care of yourself. What you eat and drink can affect your mental health as well as your physical health.

Everyone else’s life is better

You wouldn’t ever take photos of yourself comatose on the sofa, watching TV, surrounded by empty crisp packets and then upload them online, would you? Well, neither would anyone else.

Everyone else’s life may seem amazing when you look at their profile or hear them drone on about it, but don’t take that at face value. People only share what they want others to know – you included.

In some ways your friends’ lives will be better than yours, but crucially, in other ways they’ll be worse. There’s no point comparing yourself to other people because you’ll always be different, and they’ll always be hiding the worst bits.

If you’re in a really low mood we suggest stepping away from the social news feeds. You’ll just end up unfavourably comparing again and it’ll only make you feel worse.

Life isn’t turning out how I planned

It’s great to have goals, and if you’ve worked your arse off but those goals still seem miles away we don’t blame you for getting disheartened.

Remember though, you don’t have to achieve them all right now.

Instead of getting frustrated, be proud of the things you have achieved. Think about the qualifications you’ve bagged, the friends you’ve made, the places you’ve been and things you’ve done. You’ve probably lived a lot more than you think.

Next Steps

  • C.A.L.M (campaign against living miserably) is a charity dedicated to preventing male suicide. They have lots of information on their website and run a helpline from five to midnight. 0800 58 58 58
  • Anyone can contact the Samaritans on their 24-hour helpline to talk things through. 116 123
  • If you're under 25 and would like free confidential telephone counselling from The Mix to help you figure things out complete this form and we'll call you to arrange your first session.
  • Chat about this subject on our Discussion Boards.
  • Need help but confused where to go locally? Download our StepFinder iPhone app to find local support services quickly.

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self-care

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Updated on 29-Sep-2015

Photo by tommaso79