Dealing with mixed feelings and depression after an abortion

The decision to terminate a pregnancy is never easy, and you don’t necessarily know how you’re going to feel afterwards. So how do you deal with the prospect of negative emotions and depression after abortion?

Mixed feelings about abortion are normal

No one can predict how you’re going to feel after an abortion. While the majority of women report feeling relief after terminating a pregnancy, it’s also possible you might feel sad, guilty or confused. Having mixed feelings about abortion isn’t unusual – not because abortion is wrong, but because having an abortion can sometimes be a difficult decision to make.

However you’re feeling, the most important thing to remember is that you don’t have to go through this alone. Abortion is a common procedure in the UK, where one in three women will have an abortion by the time they’re 45. Millions of women have experienced the same emotions you’re feeling. If you’re down, there are places you can go for help.

Preparing for an abortion

How you feel about the abortion before you have it, the circumstances of your pregnancy and of your choice to have a termination have all been shown to affect the way you’ll feel after an abortion.

In other words, if you’re sure you’re making the right decision for you and feel supported and cared for, you’re likely to feel the same way afterwards.

If you feel guilty or confused about your decision, the chance of having mixed feelings after an abortion are increased, too. There is no evidence that abortion itself can cause depression, but if you’ve had depression before, you may be more vulnerable to experiencing depression after abortion.

If you’re trying to make a decision about whether to have an abortion, it can be useful to talk things through with someone you trust. You can also get free abortion care such as counselling and medical advice from organisations like BPAS or Brook. Speaking to a specially trained counsellor can be useful because they’re not directly involved in your situation.

Speaking to your friends, an adult you trust or to your partner can help you feel you have people looking after you, so this is really important.

After an abortion

For many women who’ve had an abortion, the key is to keep on talking to all those people who’ve helped you this far. Don’t be embarrassed that you’re turning to them again, or worry they’ll think you’ve made the wrong decision because you feel this way. They’ll want to help.

However, you may feel happier talking to someone outside the situation. If you want to talk in confidence to a post-abortion counsellor, you can get in touch with Brook. They can help at any stage, no matter how long ago you had the abortion.

Take time to deal with sadness and grief

If you’re feeling upset after an abortion, this is likely to be only temporary. But occasionally, such feelings can last longer, or perhaps get stronger if they were there beforehand anyway. If you think you’re starting to feel depressed, you may need to seek help from your doctor or from a counsellor to help you deal with these feelings.

Some women take longer than others to get over terminating a pregnancy, whether it’s two months, two years or much longer. No matter how you feel, you need to give yourself time and space to make sense of your emotions and deal with them in a way that’s right for you.

Our discussion boards are always open if you would like to reach out to our community for help or advice. If you need help but are confused about where to go locally you can get support on a whole range of issues on our website.

Thanks to Education for Choice for helping with this article.