In love but alone
I knew I was in love, but I couldn't tell anyone - I felt like my mental health condition made me unloved, that no one would want to be with me.
Starts out as a classic love story really...
I was young.
I met someone.
I fell in love.
I knew I wanted to spend everyday for the rest of my life with them.
Here comes the villain of my Disney love story...
I was suffering from a serious mental health condition.
I had the support around me, and was indeed on the long road to recovery, but still felt utterly isolated.
I never told anyone about this at the time, as I felt nobody would care - I thought my illness meant I couldn't be with someone, that everyone judged me for my condition, not for who I was as a person.
I didn't think this person would feel the same about me, and that they might be ashamed to be seen in public with the "crazy person" with a mental health condition.
So every day was like torture, seeing their face, knowing I could be so happy with them, but unable to tell them.
It's ironic really, the only thing stopping me from doing it, from being happy, was me!
Stigma around mental health is a horrific thing, and it needs to change! People who are struggling are not "crazy". In fact, they are braver than most, for recognising they need help, and fighting against illness, not succumbing to its ice grasp.
At the end of the day, I was never strong enough to tell them how I felt, and every day since I have regretted it. This is my first step in sharing my experiences, in the hope that others will learn from it, and be encouraged to follow their hearts, and live their dreams, no matter what cards life deals you!
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