Why does she bleed when I finger her?
A few weeks ago I fingered my girlfriend and got pretty deep inside her and she started to bleed. Now, every time we get intimate she still bleeds a little bit. We haven't had sex yet and she is still a virgin. She is very scared that there might be something wrong with her. Can you please tell me why she keeps bleeding?
Sometimes if a woman is fingered a bit roughly or if someone has long nails, this can cause a scratch in the vagina which could cause some bleeding. It is possible that if the scratch does not get a chance to heal properly, there may be bleeding the next time a woman gets fingered. It’s important to let your girlfriend know that if she is ever in any pain or discomfort when you are being intimate, she can tell you to stop.
Another possible cause of the bleeding could be linked to your girlfriend’s hymen. When a woman has sex for the first few times, her hymen will get stretched. The hymen is a ring of thin skin which covers some of the opening of the vagina. The hymen stretching may feel a little uncomfortable or hurt slightly. Some women may experience a small amount of bleeding, as the hymen may tear a little. This is perfectly normal and nothing to worry about.
It’s sometimes possible for the hymen to get stretched or even torn by other sexual activities, such as fingering. So it could be that the bleeding has been caused by a tear in your girlfriend’s hymen that has not had a chance to heal properly.
Bleeding during sex or other sexual activities can also be the sign of an infection. There are many different types of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and they can be spread in different ways, not just through penetrative sex. If you or your girlfriend have never had sex or any other form of sexual contact before this, it would be unlikely that she would have an STI. But if your girlfriend is worried that she may have an infection, she can get advice and testing at a genitourinary medicine (GUM) clinic. GUM services are located attached to or within local hospitals, and are usually separate, discreet departments. GUM consultations are free and confidential, which means that no one will be told about your visit, unless you want them to be.
It sounds as though it would be a good idea for your girlfriend to speak to a nurse or doctor(GP) about her concerns. This is the only way to find out what is causing the bleeding for sure. You could always go along to a service with your girlfriend for some support if you wanted. Your girlfriend can also get medical advice from a doctor at a Brook Centre, youth clinic or a family planning clinic. They are totally used to speaking to young people about body concerns or anything to do with sex.
All of these services can also provide free contraception just in case you and your girlfriend decide to take things any further. This way you can protect yourselves against unwanted pregnancy and STIs.
Answered byon 12-Jul-2012
Usualising intersex – I don’t need normalising
Anick shares his experience of coming out as intersex.
How to talk to your friends about sexual consent
Sexual consent is a part of a normal sex life but how ...
Confused about sexual consent? Help is at hand.
Domestic Abuse Myths
We spoke to Solace Women's Aid about spotting domestic ...
Is sexting illegal?
What is sexting and how safe is it? We spoke to Ellie ...