Valentine’s Day: a couple’s survival guide

It's not just singles who struggle with Valentine's Day. Even the most loved-up couple can experience V-Day trauma. The Mix is here to help.

girl with heart lollipop

Love is: still fancying them when they have a lollipop stuck to their face.

You’re in love. Brilliant. We bet you’re really happy. You have sex on tap, someone to call when you’re upset and a unique continuing connection with the heart and soul of somebody you utterly adore. Life’s pretty peachy. What could possibly ruin it?

Valentine’s Day. Otherwise known as Relationship-Ruiner Day. It’s not even a real holiday, but somehow the massive pressure to do something BEAUTIFUL to prove and confirm your love can wobble even the most stable of couples. But fret not. We’re here to help you navigate the rose-petal strewn minefield.

Don’t forget it.

Yes men, we are talking to you. No matter how many comments your girlfriend makes about how much she hates Valentine’s Day, how it’s all commercialised nonsense and how you shouldn’t get her anything – ignore her. She’s lying. If you forget she will get in a mood. Big time. And it will be one of those awful on-going moods where she doesn’t talk for days yet keeps insisting she’s “fine”. She’s not fine. You can’t mind read, and actually believed her when she said roses are a pointless waste of money. You’ve been warned.

Don’t compare it.

And girls, yes, this one is for you. It’s a certainty that, come February 15th, one of your lady friends is going to be gushing about the amazing present/meal/trip to Paris/unique sex move her amazing boyfriend gave her for her amazing Valentine’s Day. Suddenly any effort your partner made seems terrible. In fact, they’re terrible. Your relationship is terrible.

Calm down. This is just the holiday talking. Comparing your relationship with anyone else’s is futile. All that matters is – do you love each other? Yes? Do you make each other happy? Just enjoy the fact someone loves you. Every day of the year, not just for some frenzied holiday.

What to do.

Note: There is not much you can do that isn’t overpriced and naff. Romantic gestures are cheesy. Meals are overpriced. Everywhere is overcrowded. So some out-of-the-box thinking is required. Even staying in and cooking is a tad stereotypical – unless you put an original twist on it. Try making an indoor picnic instead, complete with picnic blanket, hamper and all your partner’s favourite food. Or get all dolled up and make your own posh afternoon tea with mini sandwiches and homemade scones. Comedy clubs and open mic nights are also good places for dodging expensive overcrowded restaurants.

Make it personal.

What does a teddy bear wearing an ‘I love you’ jumper really say about you and your relationship? Not much really. The same with chocolates, flowers and all the other popular Valentine’s presents. Getting your loved one something personal is much more likely to get an ‘aww’ rather than splashing the cash. So consider making something as a Valentine’s gift. If you’re the arty type, a painting or college of couple photos makes a great present. If you’re musical, write them a song or make them a mix CD. If you’re not so creatively-gifted, consider making a coupon book for your partner entitling them to different treats e.g. this coupon is redeemable for one full kitchen clean up, or twenty minutes oral sex. Although The Mix don’t recommend you attempting both of these at the same time.

P.S: There is a reason writing a love poem hasn’t been included in this section. That is because all love poems not penned by 16th century geniuses are cringe-tastic. So step away from the biro.

Or just embrace the cliche.

If you can’t beat them, join them. You can just embrace the holiday and go for mush mush and more mush. If you really can’t fight it any longer, grab your debit card and prepare to spend. Rose petals, saucy lingerie, expensive dinner for two, luxury chocolates, wearing red, stuffed toys, teary rom-coms, candlelight, cheesy cards and predictable marriage proposals – phew – thinking of things to do on Valentine’s Day is much easier if you just go along with it.

Next Steps

  • Chat about this subject on our Discussion Boards.
  • Need help but confused where to go locally? Download our StepFinder iPhone app to find local support services quickly.

By Holly Bourne

Updated on 29-Sep-2015