Your Advice

Will my girlfriend dump me for my erection problems?

I’m going out with an amazing girl and everything about our relationship is great, until we have sex. It all starts well, but the moment I try and put a condom on I lose my erection. My girlfriend’s really understanding, but it’s becoming frustrating for both of us and I’m worried it will eventually ruin our relationship. Is there something wrong with me? What can I do?

Holly Bourne Holly

Our expert says:

It’s positive that you and this girl are practising safe sex, but condom-related erectile dysfunction is extremely common. And you can find yourself trapped in an anxious spiral: you worry you’ll lose your erection, so you get anxious, then you’re more likely to lose your erection…

Often with misbehaving erections, the best thing to do is take the pressure off yourself. We have some advice on this issue here, and you could potentially agree to take a break from sex to give yourself a break. Good communication is key here. If you’re able to talk to each other about what’s going on, that should help you both feel comfortable. You may also want to chat about other forms of contraception, and getting yourselves STI tested, so condoms aren’t so necessary.

What do you think? Do you find condoms a pain? Or do you take it personally when your boyfriend can’t maintain an erection? Share your advice below. Remember, everyone’s relationship is different. There’s no right or wrong.

Posted on 10-Sep-2015