Men need to be encouraged to embrace weakness.

Growing up myself, being a boy, and dealing with other boys and men as I grew up (and even today), I noticed they all attribute femininity as something weak, and anything weak is suddenly 'feminine'...

As I've grown up, the first time I ever told my mum I loved her, my brother's heads swung around as if I had just committed a crime, with looks as snarky as you can imagine them, and their words even worse, being: "Love is for girls!"
At that moment I felt ashamed of my purest emotions; the feelings that make a person content in their lives and inspire them to do great things.
My entire 6-year-old being was crushed by my 9 and 10 year old brothers, all because I had the strength to show a beautiful weakness, that they themselves didn't have the strength to show.
But then that begs the question: where did my brothers learn this behaviour?
Older generations have been fond of strong family values, and you'll never find a family man ashamed to admit he loves his wife and kids.
But they talk about love as if this makes them tough. (Yes and no!)
Even their weakest and most fragile emotions have to be embroidered with a toxic amount of masculinity, because a man daren't look or sound weak.
Believe me masculinity is fine, and I love people being themselves - if you're masculine, great! You do you!
...But the problem is when it seeps so deeply into a man's mind that it becomes all that he is.
If a MAN isn't MANLY, then what is he?
Terrified to think that they are not just a man - but a human being.
So terrified that they keep the act up their entire lives, and teach this toxic behaviour to their sons, daughters and any impressionable kids.
Men of all ages - but young adults and teens in particular - need to be shown that yes love is okay (as they likely already know), but being weak is okay, too!
Not the kind of 'sobbing on the ground because he's financially ruined' weak; but the emotionally in-touch, not afraid to say who he loves and why, and is okay talking to someone about their anxieties and existential worries that comes with growing up.
Make sure men know HOW to be weak, as well as that it's okay to be weak.
And in embracing their weakness, they will find strength to be themselves and not be intimidated by those still hiding behind a facade of testosterone, talking down to them through their own insecurities and projections.
A human being is allowed to be weak whenever they like, it doesn't just have to be when something bad happens.
Just...Make sure as much as you're in touch with your emotional side, that you let it enhance and enrich your life - not interfere with it. ;)

Published on 02-Mar-2017

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