Going sober

Why do people give up alcohol?

People choose to avoid alcohol for tonnes of reasons:

• They’ve been addicted or dependent on alcohol in the past
• They don’t like the feeling of being drunk or losing control
• They just don’t like the taste of alcohol
• They’ve had bad experiences with alcohol in the past
• They want to improve their health or mental health 

Nick, 22, used to drink heavily from the age of 17. Eventually, he became teetotal (living a sober lifestyle) meaning he gave up alcohol six months ago. “I found myself recovering for half a week after drinking, which was playing havoc with my life. Now I feel healthier and more awake during the day. My skin has cleared up and I can actually remember nights out,” he says.

Do people not drink for religious or spiritual reasons?

For sure. Most Hare Krishnas, Muslims, Scientologists, Sikhs, Seventh-day Adventists, Mormons, Brahmins and Baha’is are likely to be teetotal as part of their religious beliefs, but there are exceptions. Some Christians, including Methodists and Quakers, are also associated with teetotalism. But plenty of people who aren’t religious are teetotal too.

What are the benefits of not drinking? 

• No wicked hangovers
• You can save loads of money you would be spending on alcohol and invest it into bitcoin (for legal reasons, that’s a joke – please don’t take that as investment advice)
• Alcohol tends to be filling, so now you have more space for that extra doughnut
• Not drinking can help you get clear skin, whereas alcohol can give you spots
• You won’t lose control, so you’ll always know how to get home.

Will not drinking alcohol mark the end of my social life? 

Nah, don’t stress. It’s difficult because culturally, most of our adult socialising revolves around pubs, clubs and parties. But there are so many other things you can do to have fun without getting drunk. Try shot putting, it can give you a good adrenaline rush and get out some pent up frustration.

Ellie, 25, hasn’t had a drink for the past six months and says she has a much better time without it. She suffers from depression and found that alcohol made it much worse. “Everyone has been really supportive. I meet a few people who think it’s really sad that I can’t ‘go out and enjoy myself’, but they’re usually avoiding looking at their own drinking habits,” she explains.

“It totally baffles them that I’ve given up drinking completely. I don’t really miss drinking – I’m just happy to know I’ll never have another hangover, be sick in my hair, or wake up next to a stranger.”

When you go out you may order alcohol more out of habit than actually wanting it. Just be prepared for your friends to give you a hard time for ordering a soft drink instead; people don’t like to drink booze alone, it can also unnerve them that you’re choosing to remain sober. Stick to your guns and even try informing them of some of the benefits, if you want.

How to deal with peer pressure to drink 

If you’re not the designated driver for the night, friends may pile on the pressure for you to join in.

“When I go out everyone tries to persuade me to drink with them,” says Nick. “I get negative comments from friends because they think I can’t enjoy myself as much as I would if I was drinking. I avoid alcohol by distracting myself with other hobbies, or just socialising at home.”

But alcohol shouldn’t be an essential part of a night out. Remind your friends that you’re out to have fun, too, and if they’re still on your case, try some of these tactics:

• Tell them the truth – that you don’t want to drink 
• Skip out on rounds and avoid telling people that you’re not drinking alcohol
• You may decide not to socialise with people who are drinking, or in places where alcohol is available
• If your friends can’t respect your decision to stay sober, it’s time to gently cut them out and find a more accepting group of friends

Alternatives to booze 

There are plenty of places that serve good mocktails and where the entertainment is not about getting drunk. The trick is to think about what you want from a night out. Here are some suggestions:

• Art centres, late night cafe-bars and independent cinemas are good alternatives to pubs and clubs
• Top-golf is a fun pass-time, basically just a combination of golf and bowling – pretty sick if you ask us. It doesn’t have to be golf though, any leisurely sporting activity that let’s you and your friends duke it out will do
• Evening classes, societies and discord chats can offer ways to meet people and socialise where alcohol isn’t even part of the conversation
• Doing the pub quiz, having Sunday lunch or playing pool can switch the focus of trips to the pub away from getting hammered

I’m teetotal

Jonathan, 22, has been teetotal almost all his life. He tells us why he doesn’t drink alcohol and what impact it has on his social life.

Deciding to be teetotal

I’ve never been a regular drinker. I tried a few cans aged about 12, when all my friends and I first started hanging out and listening to music, but I’ve never been drunk. Even then I only ever had one drink, no more. By the time I was 15 I decided I ‘didn’t drink’, although I didn’t realise I would keep this up for so long!

I’d had a few health issues in my teens that made me think I probably shouldn’t get too wrecked! Then, as my friends got more and more into drinking (and increasingly, drugs), I simply realised it wasn’t something I enjoyed. I didn’t like the taste, or the culture of getting drunk, and as I began to see the state my mates got into, I became quite glad of that. I’m quite lucky that I’m naturally a very outgoing and confident person, so I’ve never needed alcohol as a social lubricant!

Reactions to being teetotal

I’ve encountered very few problems through being teetotal. Of course, the occasional person tries to convince me to have a drink, but I’m very strong in my convictions, so this has never really bothered me. As I’m quite an independent-minded person, I’ve always taken a perverse pleasure in ignoring other people’s attempts to get me to drink!

Generally, most people are quite respectful of, if not intrigued by my choice. Telling my friends and family that I don’t drink has never really been an issue – as I’ve never been a drinker it’s not something they’ve ever questioned, like my hair colour or my interest in music. It’s just an intrinsic part of me.

Leading a full life

I’m always busy and like to be involved in lots of things, so not drinking fits in perfectly with my lifestyle. I go out socially as much as anyone I know, I’m a huge fan of live music and am into drum and bass nights. For me, the beauty of being teetotal is that I can enjoy all these pursuits but still be active during the day, too.

As I’ve grown up, not drinking has formed part of my philosophical outlook. I live a positive, productive, interesting life, and I know alcohol doesn’t fit into that viewpoint. It’s not really something I’ve had to resist – there’s no pull for me to drink. I’ve never not gone to a social event because of alcohol; most of my social activities revolve around places where drinking happens, like clubs, music venues and bars. I’ll often meet one or two friends ‘for a drink’, and they’ll have a pint while I stick to orange juice.

My thoughts and beliefs on alcohol

I’m not at all anti-drinking – each to their own – it’s just not for me. I think part of my attitude to alcohol has been shaped by the fact that it was never a big taboo with my family. My parents drank with meals and occasionally allowed me to, as well, so I believe that laws allowing and encouraging this sort of behaviour are helpful.

For me, the ability to get up and do fun or interesting things after a late night out, when I might otherwise be stuck in bed, seems a good enough incentive to stay sober! I recognise that I’m probably quite a unique case, given that my reasons for being teetotal and the way I ‘decided’ are quite fluffy. There’s never really been much thought behind it, it’s just something that happened and I’ve ended up quite liking it.