Suicide

Suicidal thoughts can be terrifying and very isolating, with a feeling like there’s no way out. You might feel like you’re the only person who feels the way that you do, but suicidal thoughts are sadly very common. The important thing to realise is that you’re not alone and that immediate help is available.

I feel suicidal, what can I do?

If you feel like you might want to kill yourself, it’s important to seek help as soon as you can. There are free helplines that you can talk to about how to stop suicidal feelings or cope with them – and they’re open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week:

• Samaritans – phone 116 123
• Supportline – phone 01708 765200

Sometimes, simply talking to a friend or a family member about it can help the feeling to pass. But you may feel too overwhelmed, beyond help or even too angry at everyone around you to want to open up to them, which can lead to you feeling even worse.

If this is the case, then it is best to get in touch with one of the support lines above. They’ll be able to give you completely impartial advice, and anything you say to them will be completely confidential. 

Emergency help with suicidal thoughts

If your suicidal feelings are becoming too much and you think you might actually harm yourself, you should go to the A&E department of your local hospital. They’ll be able to keep you safe, and will help you to find the support that you’ll need once you’re discharged from  hospital. 

You needn’t worry that you’ll be judged – the hospital staff who tend to you have likely dealt with a similar situation before.

How to stop suicidal thoughts

Experiencing suicidal thoughts can be pretty distressing, especially if you want them to stop but you’re not sure how to. If you don’t think you’re at risk of harming yourself and simply want to find ways to control your thoughts there’s plenty of help available. You could look into different types of therapy such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).

Why do I feel suicidal?

Many people experiencing suicidal thoughts will feel like they know why they’re experiencing these thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, however, suicidal ideation can occur with no obvious cause.

This is one of the many reasons it’s so important to try and reach out to someone you trust when you feel this way. By talking things through, you might be able to identify what’s causing these thought patterns, and then take steps to address those factors. 

Sometimes, suicidal thoughts can be caused or made worse by drugs, even including stuff like antidepressants. SSRIs, for example, help millions of people dealing with depression, but can also be associated with certain side effects. Speak with your GP if you think this might apply to you.

Steps for overcoming suicidal feelings

There are some ways that you can safeguard yourself against your feelings to make sure that you don’t harm yourself impulsively in the heat of the moment. 

Whilst they aren’t quite as important as seeking help and trying to identify how to stop your suicidal thoughts altogether, they can reduce risk factors when things are getting on top of you:

• Try to stay safe by agreeing with yourself that you won’t act impulsively: Whether it’s 24 hours or a week, it will help you to not act rashly. Samaritans can help you create a ‘safety plan’ to navigate negative thoughts and thoughts of suicide. 
• Avoid drugs and alcohol: While they might feel like a good idea at the time, they can make you feel infinitely worse.
• Remove items from your home that you might use to hurt yourself: For example, pills, knives, razors etc.
• Tell someone how you feel: Whether it’s a trusted friend or a family member, they can keep an eye on you to check you’re not in danger.

Talking to your GP about suicide

You might feel like nobody will be able to help you, but that’s never the case. GPs have vast experience in helping people who feel exactly the way that you do right now – and they might even be able to tell you why you’re feeling this way.

For example, they’ll be able to tell you whether it’s likely that you’re suffering from  conditions such as anxiety and depression. Both of these are very common mental health issues that can be addressed with either: 

• Medication  – antidepressants can help suppress the chemicals in your body which are leading to your suicidal thoughts.
• Therapy – talking to a psychologist might help you pin down what exactly is making you feel that you want to kill yourself, and how to overcome it. 

As soon as you feel able, try to book an appointment with your GP. As with hospital staff, they won’t judge you – you can even take a friend or family member with you if you think you’ll feel more comfortable. 

Helping a friend with suicidal tendencies

Having a friend tell you that they’re thinking of killing themselves can be very scary. Or, you might just think that they’re being silly and won’t actually do it. It’s important not to laugh at them, tell them to stop being stupid or to get over it. 

Listen to them talk about how they’re feeling and stay calm – if you think they might actually harm themselves, then try to get professional help. Offering to go with them to the doctor can sometimes help enable them to get help from someone better equipped than you are. 

Don’t suffer alone, whether you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts or you’re trying to help someone you know. Here’s a reminder of some places you can find support:

• SANE offers support and information to people affected by mental illness. Call their helpline on 0300 304 7000, open 4:30pm – 10:30pm every day.
• Anyone can contact the Samaritans on their 24-hour helpline to talk things through. 116 123. They also provide support groups for people bereaved by suicide.
• PAPYRUS UK is a charity for the prevention of young suicide (under 35) in the UK. Call them on 0800 068 4141.

A young person who volunteers at The Mix wrote this open letter to themselves at different stages of their life, to help themselves and others cope with suicidal thoughts.

Dear anyone who might be struggling at the moment or who knows someone else who might be struggling,

This is a letter to my past self, who struggled with suicidal thoughts, my present self, who recognises my non-linear progress and my future self, who has learned lessons on staying safe. I hope this article might be useful for anyone struggling, to help you realise you are not alone; help is available. You can take care of yourself and your days can brighten. You might wish to adopt some of the safety lessons I have learned, though this will vary for every person.

Dear past self

Dear past self, little me. The little me with suicidal thoughts. You are not currently supposed to be able to understand or express your thoughts and experiences. Your childhood was never supposed to feel heavy, but time will allow you to process your thoughts and experiences and help you to build your circle of people. You will meet people who care. As you grow older, there will be people who accept you and you can trust them to sit beside you through it all and listen to you. Your childhood was supposed to feel free and be the time of your life, or at least that is what other people say.

You feel overwhelmed, think the world would be better off without you and question your existence, but time will lighten your load. You do not know it yet but your thoughts and experiences will make you develop strength and courage and teach you the power of kindness. You will carry your inner child with you when you are feeling ready. You will form a genuine smile and laughter and understand peace; the type of peace where you will feel calm and not quiet.

Dear present self

Am I lying and just another person who says things will get better, when it does not apply to me? Dear present me, I am proud of you for the progress you have made. It has not been a linear progression and there are days where the world feels broken, lacking purpose and like being back at square one once again. I know that just when you felt those suicidal thoughts had gone away, they reappeared every day once you were no longer goal-orientated. You bandaged it up, but those dark days are becoming fewer and the lighter days are appearing more often.

You can now identify and challenge the thoughts which otherwise disguise themselves in dark days. These dark days tend to surface on non-productive days, but you now know that being productive is not an every day requirement. It is safe to drop your guard, let people in and to enjoy things that make you laugh and smile and feel peaceful. Your circle of people are safe to trust; they know what you need and will not deliberately hurt you. Your circle of people will also help you to build new memories, which show you that life is worth it.

Dear future self

Dear future me, I hope you are well and continue to choose life every day, even on the tough days. Keep making past you, little you, proud and be the person you needed when you were struggling to stay alive. I do not know what you might experience or how dark the thoughts might get, especially with the world feeling like crumble. I suspect it will only get tougher to see things clearly. However, I do know you have the strength, courage and resources needed to rise above whatever may arise. So, rise higher when the flames of life get higher.