TLDR: Being a young dad
Yes. Becoming a parent can bring joy, fear, pressure and pride all at once. There’s no “right” way to feel - mixed emotions are completely normal.
Most people don’t feel fully ready. Parenting is something you learn as you go. You don’t need all the answers - you just need to show up and keep trying.
Take small breaks where you can, talk to someone you trust, and lower the pressure on yourself. You’re allowed to feel tired or frustrated - that doesn’t make you a bad dad.
Being a young father can feel isolating, especially if your friends aren’t in the same place. But you’re not the only one - support services and other young dads are out there.
No one is perfect. What matters most is care, consistency and love. Making mistakes is part of the journey - it’s how you learn and grow.
Being a young father
If you’re a young dad, or about to become one, then you might be feeling overwhelmed, anxious, full of joy or a mix of all three. Whatever you’re feeling is completely valid. And while there’s no manual on being a dad, whether at a younger or older stage, here is our handy guide on how to navigate the ups and downs of fatherhood…
New chapter, new emotions
Becoming a dad can bring up a mix of emotions: joy, fear, pride, anxiety… sometimes all at once.
It can be really difficult to observe and manage how you’re feeling when you’re looking after someone else. That’s why it’s important to check in with yourself and those emotions that come with it.
Luckily, there’s a few easy ways to do this…
Name what you’re feeling
It sounds simple, and that’s because it is! Simply saying ‘I feel anxious today’ or ‘I’m really exhausted’ can help take some of the pressure off from what you’re experiencing. Naming an emotion is the first step into taking your power back from it.
Talk to someone
It can be a friend, your partner, a family member or a service like us. A problem shared is a problem halved, right? By sharing how you’re feeling you can release that busy mind from all of those overwhelming thoughts. Becoming a young dad can be extremely challenging, so make sure to talk to those who can offer an empathetic and supportive space for you. If you’re struggling to find someone, check The Mix Community and connect with others who are on a similar journey.
Take time for yourself
They say parenting is a full-time job, but even full-time jobs have lunch breaks. Make sure to carve out some time for you. Whether it’s 10 minutes to catch a breath, grab a snack, or just sit. If you’re feeling calm and rested, you’re more likely to be able to face anything that comes your way.
There’s no such thing as the perfect parent
The parent who says that they’ve never made a mistake is probably the parent who has made the most mistakes.
There is no clear cut way to navigate parenthood. It’s a messy, tiring, emotional and beautiful journey. It’s absolutely OK to not feel confident when changing nappies, or to feel a bit hopeless when you’re woken up at 4am. What matters is showing up, trying your best, and caring…for your child, and for you.
So go easy on yourself. Be at peace with not knowing all of the answers right away. Remember that having a child is a journey and not a destination, and there’s always help out there.
Fatherhood is not a solo journey
Speaking of journeys - there are thousands of young dads out there right now on a similar one to you. You are not alone.
Being a young dad can feel lonely at times, especially if everyone around you isn’t in the same place. Remembering and recognising the vast amount of support out there for you is key. For example:
- The Mix offers 1-2-1 counselling for anyone under 25 who needs short-term help with their mental health and emotional wellbeing. Find out more here.
- Our community hub is full of ways to reach out to other young people sharing similar stories and guidance.
- Dad Matters work directly with young fathers in navigating the highs and lows and help foster healthy, meaningful relationships with their newborns.
- If you need urgent support with your mental health, you can access Shout’s crisis service by texting THEMIX to 85258 for free, at any time of day or night.
Tips for the tough days
Let’s be honest, there will be days where you’ll feel like screaming in an empty car park, or want to run away to a desert island. We have all those days, and having a child might amplify those experiences even more.
Here are a few ways to deal with the trickier times of fatherhood…
Mindfulness
Can you look at your child while letting your thoughts come and go? Observe the wrinkles on their feet. The gentle opening/closing of their eyes. The way their hands clutch onto your finger. Be present, observe, and feel any sensations that may arise.
Mindfulness is a great way to calm your mind and connect with your child on a deeper level - helping both of you stay grounded in the present moment.
Share the load
Be realistic about what you can and can’t manage. You can’t change a nappy, prepare food, and brush your teeth at the same time. Ask yourself ‘Who can help?’. The chances are that the people around you would be more than happy to lend a hand. Sharing responsibilities gives you back some time to make those tough days more manageable.
Celebrate the small wins
Even the toughest days have moments of joy and accomplishment. Whether it’s just getting up and showing up, seeing your child give their first smile or finding the best price for baby food - it’s all a win.
You’re doing better than you think
Read that again.
There’ll be days where you feel lost, stuck, confused and overcome by self-doubt. They’re the days where your biggest growth happens.
Having a child is a deeply personal journey where everyday can feel like a blessing and a lesson. You’re doing something incredibly hard and incredibly important, and the fact that you’re reading this means that you’re doing it with love and care too.
If you need a little extra support, The Mix offers 1-2-1 short-term counselling and a thriving community of young people offering advice and support to each other 24/7.
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