How to combat transphobia

What is transphobia?

Transphobia is a term used to describe prejudice against people who don’t identify with the gender they were assigned at birth, also known as transgender, or non-binary people. This can include nasty comments and actions, either online or in person, that harm trans people. Transphobia is a way of classifying this type of person and/or behaviour. Sadly, if you’re transgender, this might sound familiar. It may even be affecting your mental health or make it harder to come out.

We want you to know that you have the right to be accepted for who you are without being bullied or abused.

We are often taught to believe that the gender binary, aka being born either a man or a women, is the only way to understand gender, but this is not the case – there’s a whole spectrum of different gender identities and each is equally as valid.

Why are people transphobic?

People are often scared of what they don’t understand and in response, they turn to bullying or abusive behaviour. Sadly, this is often directed at members of the LGBTQ+ community – especially trans people.

Transphobia can develop in society due to misinformation (often spread via the media), certain interpretations of religion, or the desire to hold on to the concept of the male/female gender binary. The existence of trans and non-binary people makes it more difficult to keep believing that gender is a fixed thing, and this can be a scary or threatening concept for some.

For this reason, transphobia often goes hand in hand with misogyny, as both can be a reaction to anything that threatens traditional masculinity and its power. But we understand that knowing all this doesn’t make the comments or actions of those who are transphobic any less painful.

Whether you’re experiencing pointed comments from your family, or you’ve been stopped from going to the right loo, it can feel like transphobia is everywhere. Forms of transphobia include:

• Physical or sexual violence.
• Threats, mean comments and name calling.
• Misgendering you on purpose. This means, for example, intentionally using the male pronoun ‘he’ when speaking to a trans woman with the intent of upsetting that person.
• Ignoring you or excluding you. Whether it’s at school, in the workplace, or at home, if people are intentionally leaving you out because of your gender identity, it’s transphobia.

How to combat transphobia online

There will always be people who get a thrill from hurting others and these people feel most at home behind a laptop screen. The key is to see it as THEIR issue, but we recognise that that doesn’t take the pain away. If you’re experiencing transphobic abuse online, try the following:

• Create a positive, online environment by blocking negative people or accounts. Instead, try following empowering accounts. This should fill your feeds with uplifting content.
• Try not to react. When we read something offensive, our immediate reaction is to hurl abuse right back at that person. But it’s best not to engage – knowing they’ve upset or angered you is exactly what they want, so don’t give them that satisfaction.
• Report transphobic behaviour online. Crimes motivated by transphobia are hate crimes and you have a right to report them. For more advice, read Childline’s guide on how to report abuse on social media.

How to deal with transphobic family or friends

It can be really hurtful if the people closest to you don’t understand you. But remember, this is your life and it’s important to live it authentically. Don’t let the attitudes of a family member or a ‘friend’ stop you from being who you truly are. Easier said than done, we know – so here are a few tips to help you out:

• Put yourself first. If it no longer feels safe to be at home because of your family’s transphobic attitude, it’s important you seek the support you deserve. Organisations such as Galop and the Albert Kennedy Trust can provide advice in this situation. In extreme cases, where you feel at immediate risk, dial 999.
• Try educating them. For parents or friends with no knowledge of the trans community, it can feel quite overwhelming. Oftentimes, they’ve grown up believing that men and women play certain roles and can’t challenge these binaries. That doesn’t mean it’s hopeless though, as long as they’re willing to put in the work. Suggest books, documentaries and websites which you think might help them understand.
• Create your own support network by surrounding yourself with people who understand you. That could be people at school or work, teachers, or friends you’ve met online. These people will raise you up even if others don’t.
• Boost your self-esteem. Try doing things that make you feel good, such as running, dancing or whatever you enjoy. The better you feel about yourself, the more you’ll be able to focus on living your best life.

Support for dealing with transphobia

• If you’re under 19, organisations like Childline are a fantastic place to find expert support. Either call their helpline or use webchat to talk about your experience of transphobia or any other issue.
• Join a support group in your area. Trans Unite will show you where your nearest support group is. You’ll also get to meet some new people.

If you feel unsafe in a public space or someone has committed a hate crime against you, you can call the police on 101 (or 999 in an emergency)

How to be a trans ally

The simplest thing to do is look after people. Lots of trans people – particularly young people – are struggling with their mental health right now. Checking in with people at work or at school can help. You can also be an active bystander. This means safely intervening when you see transphobia – for instance, if you see someone being harassed on the street you can step in to ask if they need anything. If you want to do more you can get involved with local organisations. There are local charities and prides working with the trans community all across the country.

Why are pronouns so important?

Using the right pronouns is considerate for everyone, regardless of identity. Unfortunately it has become increasingly common for anti-trans groups to intentionally use the wrong pronouns for trans people (‘misgendering’) as a sign of disrespect. Checking someone’s pronouns if you’re unsure and correcting yourself if you get it wrong is a small gesture, but it can make a big difference.

How can you respond as a trans ally when someone is being transphobic?

The most important thing is to be safe. For instance, if you see someone being harassed on the street you can walk with them, ask them how they are, or see if there’s anyone they’d like to call – but don’t start a fight with the harasser or escalate the conflict. If you see someone being harassed on social media you can check in with them privately, but don’t get drawn into an argument – this can lead to the transphobia being circulated more widely. If you see transphobia at school or work you can report it, but check with the victim first.

What would a truly inclusive world look like to trans people?

Honestly, trans people just want to get on with their lives. We want to be treated equally in healthcare, support services, education, and work. Even though things can feel bleak right now, it’s not unachievable – and it starts by looking after each other.

If you are trans and need support

You deserve care and support. Get in touch with the team at Gendered Intelligence, who have a wealth of experience in supporting young trans people and their families. You can find details about their support services here.

Join a support group in your area. Trans Unite will show you where your nearest support group is. You’ll also get to meet some new people who have similar experiences to you.