TLDR: Never been in a relationship
No. There’s no deadline for love. It might feel like everyone else is coupling up, but relationships aren’t a race — and being single doesn’t mean you’re behind.
Comparison can make it seem that way. Seeing friends date can knock your confidence, but remember: no one’s life is a rom-com. A relationship doesn’t equal happiness, success, or maturity.
Absolutely not. Your relationship status doesn’t determine your worth. You’re not more valuable because someone chooses you - you’re already valuable.
Shift the lens. Instead of asking “Am I good enough for someone?”, ask “What do I want in a partner?” Practice those qualities in your friendships and daily life. Build hobbies, connections, and goals that make you feel alive.
There’s no universal timeline. Love comes in many forms - friends, family, passions, pets - and romantic love isn’t the only kind that counts. You’re not late. You’re just living your own story.
This article was written by Leah, 21.
Not experiencing teenage love can leave you feeling behind, but this doesn't have to be your perspective. We'll walk you through how to navigate life if you've never had a romantic relationship...
Comparison is the thief of joy
My biggest insecurities about never having been in a serious relationship came from watching my friends experience it. This brought on feelings of being behind other people my age and had me questioning if I was the problem.
It seemed everyone around me managed it so easily, whilst I sat and watched, which got me connecting my self-worth to my relationship status. It's hard seeing others experiencing something you want, but relationships are complex; no one is living in a rom-com, so don't feel inferior to those who have found their special someone.
It's easy to fixate on a certain part of someone's life when you feel it's something you're lacking, but a relationship doesn't signify perfection and unlimited happiness. With all that said, it's important to remember you should never be made to feel excluded because you are single or have less relationship experience. A romantic partner is an addition to your life; there are many other interesting things about you outside of your relationship status.
Change your perspective on love
I think we often judge ourselves on how lovable we are to other people - 'Am I attractive/funny/smart enough for someone to want to commit to me?'
However, we hardly focus on the love we give out or even what we need from a romantic partner. I think dating apps may contribute to this (not saying they don't work), but most of the time is spent choosing the most flattering photos of yourself and coming up with the wittiest prompts.
Personally, I've spent more time thinking about how I can sell the best version of myself to someone to make them feel I deserve their time and effort. Rather than pondering how to make yourself more digestible and desirable to someone else, try thinking about the qualities you desire in a person.
You can then practice these qualities, for example, if you want someone to show you kindness, thoughtfulness, and honesty, think about whether you are acting on these traits yourself. When I feel lonely, I think of the love I already have in my life, whether it's friends, family, pets, or hobbies. Then I think of the qualities I want to see in the person I'll love and make sure I'm displaying them.
This can be little things like sending someone a gift when I know they've been struggling lately, planning a nice day trip with a friend or family member, or just listening to someone who needs support. This isn't necessarily to get something back. It just acts as a reminder that you already have so much love within yourself, and that you don't need a romantic partner to practice loving or to prove you're lovable.
Your relationship status should not determine your self worth
I don't really believe that just because you are single, you should feel pressure to grow and become the "best version of yourself".
As humans, we don't need to be constantly trying to be better, as a big part of loving yourself is accepting your flaws. That being said, investing in yourself isn't a bad idea, but it's important to do this in a way that's not overly self-critical.
You can simply try to get to know yourself better. Put time into your hobbies/ start new ones, push yourself out of your comfort zone from time to time, spend time with the people you love, and do what makes your heart happy. Nothing drastic, just doing things you enjoy and setting yourself goals.
Remember, this isn't to attract a romantic partner, it's just putting some time aside for yourself. Reflect on the things your life is rich with, whether it's a couple of people who have always been there for you, your childhood pet, a hobby/activity that you enjoy, a goal you're working towards, etc.
There is love already in your life and love still to find; it comes in all different forms, not just romantically. It is not possible for you to be behind because there is no timeframe; life will always be spontaneous, and that's what makes it so scary and exciting.
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