What does the term ‘weaponising’ mean?
Weaponising is a term used within social interactions when something you say has been used against you to intimidate, silence and have control over you.
In many cases, you can be in a casual or friendly setting and someone can remember something you have said and bring it up, months or even years later.
How many types of weaponising forms are there?
There are different types of weaponising forms in relationships and friendships.
Weaponised Vulnerabilities - This is when you disclose insecurities, traumas, and secrets in confidence to someone you trust. Then later on, they use what you have told them to constantly make you feel bad, or have control over you.
Weaponised Incompetence - Is when you ask someone to do basic chores or tasks and they perform poorly, so in the end you have to complete the task. This is when someone can do the task, but they purposefully perform poorly so in the end they do not have to do it.
Weaponised Guilt - This is similar to vulnerabilities, where you are constantly made to feel guilty for saying or doing something, where your mistakes are constantly being bought up so that you feel guilty or you are always apologising.
Weaponised Intimacy - This is seen in romantic relationships where affection may be withheld from you, unless you do something you were asked to.
Weaponised Finances - This is common in romantic and parental relationships where your finances are in control of someone else, and they get to determine how you spend your money and how little control you have over your own money, leading you to lose financial autonomy.
How to recognise the signs of weaponising in relationships or friendships?
Commons signs of weaponising in relationships and friendships is how you feel towards what was said to you.
Feelings can be feeling ashamed you opened up to them, having difficulty trusting them, and feeling insecure.
Aside from feelings, it can also be how free you feel around them, or if you feel you have to refrain from hanging out or speaking to them.
What can you do, if you ever find yourself in a situation like this?
If you ever feel you are in a position where someone close to you is weaponising anything you have said to make you feel bad or have control over you, you should first distance yourself from them. This allows you to set a boundary of who you choose to engage with and limits you from feeling negative emotions.
You should also speak to a trusted adult or friend, on how you feel so they can provide support and guidance.
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