High-functioning depression

This article was written by Rebecca, 21.

High-functioning depression often goes unnoticed. Although it isn’t an official diagnosis, many people whose don’t fit the accepted stereotype of depression, and who appear to function normally, find it to be a useful term.

Symptoms of high-functioning depression

Many of the symptoms overlap with other forms of depression, including:

• Low self-esteem: a growing problem in society, and one that is far too common. In particular, people suffering from depression often criticise their appearance, compare their achievements to the people around them, lack trust in themselves and struggle to see any value in their life. This negative self-image interferes with everyday life, even in minute ways.
• Loneliness: even in a room full of people. You might feel as if expressing your true thoughts would only pull you further apart. Perhaps you message your friends every morning, every chance you have, but it’s not enough to make a difference.
• Struggling to enjoy your hobbies: even ones that used to mean everything to you. Whether it fades piece by piece, forcing you from anger to emptiness, or disappears as quickly as the sun in winter, depression can make you a stranger to yourself. For some people, it feels like they never knew themselves to begin with. Faint enjoyment might reappear, though it fades soon after.
• Tiredness: that persists for weeks or months, no matter how much you sleep. You might move slower, or find that everyday tasks take you much longer to complete than before.
• Trouble relaxing: perhaps a tightness grows in your chest, where your anxiety causes physical discomfort. Other people are pulled towards a pile of washing, the dusty painting above the fireplace, for a solution – to quieten their worries about walking in the middle of the path, or working another shift with half of their coworkers absent. While these may provide a temporary distraction, worries like these can’t be overcome by time alone.

Coping strategies

Sometimes, facing the thought of tomorrow is the hardest part of living. If your grades plummet, if even a horde of friends fails to make you smile enough to make your worries quieten, you’ll be okay.

No matter how impossible it seems, life won’t always be this way. That inescapable tiredness will start to fade, and the future won’t seem so daunting.

Start with smaller, manageable goals.

To begin with:

• Take it one day at a time. Sometimes, it will feel as if darkness is all that you will know. Other days, you might leave the lecture hall with a new friend, like the girl who always hunched over her laptop, examining her notes with the care of carrying a glass bird, or the boy who sketches stars in his A4 notebook, and study together in a café the next afternoon. New opportunities can emerge from the most unexpected places: whenever your negative thoughts say otherwise, try distancing yourself from them by distracting yourself.
• Practice forgiving yourself for your mistakes. If you bump into someone on the way home, rather than thinking I can’t do anything right, allow everyday mistakes to be just that, something as common as fireflies: even people who seem perfect on the surface stumble over their words or forget their car keys.
• Avoid comparing your problems to others. Even if they feel worse than your own, that doesn’t invalidate your own struggles. If someone else gets extra time in exams, extensions on deadlines or counselling, while you manage without any academic support, try to be kind to yourself. Navigating adolescence, university and adulthood is challenging even without a mental health problem. Receiving less support does not make your problems fake.

Experiment until you discover the coping strategies that work best for you. Even if they only last for a short term, figuring out what helps you get by, whether it’s listening to music, choosing your outfit and making your lunch the day before, or dividing your chores into manageable steps, will always be beneficial to your mental health.

Signs of high-functioning depression in friends and loved ones

No matter how much we might want to believe otherwise, our family and friends are often struggling right before our eyes.

If you’re concerned for someone else, try paying attention to the smaller details: forced smiles, slower movements. Even if someone maintains their personal hygiene, a lowered appetite might cause them to skip meals, or the opposite could make them eat to the point of physical sickness.

Keep in mind that good intentions do not guarantee good results. Your loved ones might become defensive if confronted, no matter how gentle your tone is. When discussing a mental health problem with your family or friends, try to talk in a private space, one with little distractions present.

A calm environment helps to prevent further agitation, including in discussions of your own mental health. Otherwise, suppressed emotions could lead to shouting or fighting, causing further distress for both sides.

High-functioning depression can be harder to recognise than other forms of depression; its quieter symptoms, such as a negative self-image or social isolation, can appear as typical traits of youth or adulthood.

Knowing what signs to look for means that you or your loved ones can receive much needed support.

Getting better

Sometimes, we find ourselves turning to medication as a solution, one as simple as taking a sip of water, swallowing and trying to forget the taste left on our tongues. However, while antidepressants can be helpful, you should keep the benefits and risks in mind before taking them. Some light research might prove useful, but not essential: if you choose to book an appointment with your GP, they should explain the process to you and give you plenty of time to ask questions.

Fighting your negative thoughts might feel like setting foot in a snowstorm, so take it one step at a time. Learning to accept and manage your problems takes as much caution as conquering a labyrinth; take all the time you need to succeed.