Whether you’re looking for support or just somewhere to hang out and talk to others, group chat is a safe and welcoming place.
We are mainly made up of 13-25 year olds. If you’re under 13 or older than 25, the moderator might suggest you use a more appropriate support service like Childline (for under 19’s) or Side by Side (for adults).
There are four pillars of the group chat guidelines. These are the basic principles of our guidelines, written by our community:
If you’re here for the first time, make sure you check out the full guidelines below.
Be prepared to work as a group and try your best to support others. Keep in mind there may be times where the room is focused on supporting someone else, and you might need to wait to ask for support yourself.
If you need guaranteed support, The Mix’s 1-2-1 services might be a better option.
Joining multiple rooms can cause confusion for moderators and other community members if you're not seeing messages sent to you, so we encourage everyone to focus on one room at a time. To leave the room you're in, click the three dots in the top right corner of your screen and select 'close'.
If you talk to other members privately, it’s best to keep those conversations private. When you’re in a group session, try to keep your conversations inclusive of everyone.
If someone is breaking the chat guidelines, it’s important not to get involved. The moderators are there to take care of it, and getting involved (even with good intentions) can make their job more difficult.
All group chats are moderated by a mixture of paid staff and volunteers. Their role is to keep the chat safe and welcoming for everyone. Moderators aren't support experts and won’t always be able to chat, especially if the room is busy.
Suicidal thoughts
You can share that you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts in general terms. Keep in mind that if you have a plan to end your life or you feel unsafe right now, the group isn’t set up to support you. If you need crisis support, the moderator will suggest that you use specialist crisis services such as our Crisis Messenger, Samaritans or Papyrus. You may also be removed from the room.
Self-harm
When discussing self-harm, it’s best to stick to the general term ‘self-harm’. More specific language (e.g., where or how you’ve harmed yourself) can be triggering for other members. If you share that you’re self-harming, the group knows you’re hurting and can support you, without needing physical details.
Pictures that show healed self-harm injuries are okay to share, as long as the healed injuries aren't the focus of the picture. For example, sharing a photo of your outfit where scars are visible is fine.
Eating disorders
When discussing eating disorders, it’s best to stick to broad terms and avoid specifics. For example, it’s okay to say you overeat or restrict how much you eat or drink. Avoid referring to calories, how much or what you’ve consumed, specific sizes, weights or your BMI, as these can be triggering for other members.
It’s okay to talk about laxative misuse in relation to disordered eating. If sharing that you misuse laxatives is key to the group understanding your situation, feel free to share it. If you do, it’s best not to mention the details (e.g., how many you take, how often, or exactly what effect they have on you).
Substances
If you've overdosed and you’re worried for your safety, call 999 or visit your closest A&E. If you share that you’ve recently overdosed, The Mix may contact emergency services to make sure you’re okay. A moderator may also remove you from the room. You can read more about when we might contact emergency services in our confidentiality policy.
If you want to discuss drugs or medication, it’s best not to share dosages. This is to make sure people don’t self-medicate based on advice from the community and avoid potential triggers.
The general rule is 'what's said in group chat stays in group chat'. It’s very important to respect the group’s confidentiality and not take what other members share outside of the session.
If we believe your life is at immediate risk, we may inform emergency services to make sure you're safe. A moderator will tell you if we decide to do this, and we will only do it if we absolutely have to. If this happens, you may also be removed from the room. That’s partly because our moderators aren’t trained to support you in crisis, and also to keep other members of the community safe. You can read more about this in our confidentiality policy.
Anonymity
Everyone has the right to anonymity when using The Mix. If a group member has decided to be anonymous, respect their decision and don’t ask who they are.
If you’ve been here before but you choose to be anonymous, it’s best to stick to that and not ask people to guess who you are. Someone being mysterious about their identity can cause anxiety.
Being safe online
Whether or not you want to be completely anonymous, keep in mind group chat is an anonymous space that anyone can join. That means online safety is very important.
Make sure you don’t share personal or contact details (e.g., your full name, address, or social media profiles). It’s okay to share photos of yourself or your pets, but it’s important not to share photos of anyone else.
Keep in mind that once you post something online, there's no way to stop someone saving it.
We’ve all had different experiences and sometimes people disagree or things get heated, and that’s okay. If you feel upset by something, do your best to self-moderate (take a break or mute the person who upset you). If things become personal or aggressive, do your best to stay out of it so the moderators can deal with the situation.
It’s generally best not to make negative sweeping statements about groups of people. Community members come from all sorts of backgrounds, and generalising people in a negative way can be hurtful.
You can share your own experiences, but make sure you say they are your experiences. For example, it’s okay to say “my experiences with men have been horrible”. It’s not okay to say “men are horrible”.
