We allow plenty of freedom in group chat and you can pretty much talk about anything at all that’s on your mind. It’s important to remember that group chat can't offer crisis support or professional medical advice, and we have a few limitations around particular issues that we’d ask you to keep in mind:
Sex – This is not the place to advertise for sex or dating. If you're looking for love or a hookup, there are plenty of other sites and apps for that.
You're welcome to talk about what a great night you had, but please don't use this forum to brag about your sexual experiences. Again, there are plenty of other places to do that.
This is not an appropriate place to make posts to get back at people you've been involved with. You can talk about them in general terms and vent if you need to, but please don't name them, say where they live, or reveal any identifiable information about them.
Links to porn, adult, or marketing sites will be deleted. You're welcome to recommend products or websites, but if the message doesn't seem genuine or the link doesn't look legit, we'll delete it.
Drugs – This isn't a place to find a dealer. It's okay to ask about how to source drugs safely, but you won't find any specific recommendations or adverts for dealers.
Mentioning dosages of drink and drugs in terms of recreational use is fine. However, if you've overdosed and are worried for your safety, we'd urge you to call 999 or get yourself to your closest A&E. If you want to retrospectively discuss an overdose and the moment has passed (e.g. 'last week I overdid it on...'), please avoid mentioning any specific quantities.
Self-harm – Please avoid any graphic detail or description of methods (such as where or how you've harmed yourself). Instead, we encourage you to focus on feelings (e.g. "I feel like harming myself because I feel..."). Please stick to 'self-harm' and know that we understand if you're harming, you're hurting.
Eating issues - Please avoid sharing details about your specific weight, calorie counts or any behaviours, as those specifics can lead to people making unhelpful comparisons. Examples of this are saying what or how much you've consumed, or what methods you use to restrict or purge. You're welcome to use broad terms like 'binge', 'restrict' and 'purge' - just not how you do that.
The one exception we'll make to this is talking about laxative use and misuse. This is a much more contextual issue, and we want to allow space for destigmatising difficulties around eating. If sharing that you take laxatives is key to people understanding what you're feeling, feel free to share it, but make sure you don't mention how many you take, how often, or exactly what effect laxatives have on you (e.g. the amount of weight you lose by taking them).
Suicidal feelings – You can share that you're generally struggling with suicidal thoughts, but the group can't support you if you're at breaking point. If you need crisis support, the moderator will suggest that you use more appropriate services such as Samaritans or Papyrus. Please also avoid sharing details that are likely to make others worry for your safety.
You will be automatically logged in as a guest on your first visit, but you can also create an account. If you have an account on the discussion boards, you might want to use the same name to help the community get to know you. Try and stick to the same username once you’ve picked one. It avoids confusion and helps you to settle in and build relationships with the group.
You're welcome to use a name that shows how you feel. If you choose a name like that, depending on what it is, a moderator may ask you to add a different name in brackets. This is just to make sure other members have something they're comfortable calling you by. In extreme cases, you may also be asked to change it completely (e.g. if it uses triggering language) but this is rare.
All group chats are moderated by a mixture of paid staff and volunteer mods.
Their role is to oversee the group and to make sure that everyone is sticking to the guidelines so the chat remains a safe and welcoming space. Moderators are trained in offering emotional support, listening, signposting (sharing links to resources online) and managing the group. They are not expert advisers and cannot provide 1-2-1 support. Mods are supported in the background by a Supervisor.
We ask that you avoid sharing any personal contact details in the chat room such as your email address, phone number or social media. It’s okay to share photos of yourself or your pets if you’re comfortable with that, but please don’t share photos of anybody else. Don’t forget that once you post something online, there's no way to stop somebody saving it.
Stepping into the role of a moderator when you're not one is generally not appreciated - it creates friction between community members and it makes the moderator's job more difficult. If you see something that needs mod input, it's okay to give supportive suggestions, but it usually doesn't go well when someone tries to diffuse an argument or enforce the guidelines when they're not a moderator.
