What is chemsex?

What is a chem?

A chem is a drug, typically GBH, meth or M-Kat.

What is chemsex?

Chemsex means sexual activity whilst under the influence of ‘chems’. It’s also sometimes referred to as ‘meth-sex’, although the drugs that are used also include GHB (gamma-Hydroxybutyric acid), Crystal meth, (Methamphetamine) and M-Kat (Mephedrone). It began to become popular in 2015, when sexual health clinics in London started to report hearing about the new phenomenon.

What are the risks of chemsex?

Although some people may be able to use chemsex and experience minimal problems, there are a number of reported risks, such as sexual assault whilst under the influence of drugs, and the negative impact that drugs can sometimes have on your mental health and well-being.

There have also been several reports of people dying from the risks linked to their chemsex use. Sexual health services have reported an increase in rates of positive infections of HIV and sexually transmitted infections in gay men in connection with chemsex.

• Sometimes people may inject crystal meth and mephedrone or share equipment. With injecting there is an increased risk of infections and blood borne viruses like HIV, hepatitis C and hepatitis B.
• People who are using certain drugs such as crystal meth or chemsex can often engage in rougher sex, which can cause bleeding. Therefore, it’s important to use condoms and PrEP, a pill you can take to protect you from HIV.
• The use of chemsex can lead to unsafe, unprotected sex, which can put you at risk of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Consent and chemsex

Being under the influence of drugs can lead to various issues, including complications around consent. If you are with someone using chemsex and you are not sure if they want to agree, or you are not sure of what their answer is – then do not continue to have sex with them.

• If there are drugs and/or alcohol present, this may impact on people’s capacity to consent. Therefore, if someone is unconscious or asleep, or if they are incapacitated by drugs or alcohol, they cannot give consent.
• The law in the UK says you must have the capacity to be able to consent to have sex with someone else. This means that for you to give consent, you must be able to make an informed choice.
• Consent is not permanent and can be withdrawn at any time. It is important to remember that consent is not just about the law, but about everyone having positive sexual experiences and making active choices about sex.

Effects of chemsex on mental health & wellbeing

The use of chemsex can have a negative effect on your physical and mental health. It can also contribute to anxiety and depression, and in some cases it can lead to ‘drug-induced psychosis’.

• The impact of comedowns that can follow a chemsex session may mean that you experience fear and/or depression, which can affect how you feel about yourself in a negative way, impacting on your self care.
• You can become dependent both physically and physiologically on chemsex drugs. If you develop a dependency on Ghb and you stop taking it, you could experience unpleasant withdrawal symptoms and will need professional support to withdraw.
• If you are having sex with others in exchange for drugs or alcohol, it could have a negative impact on your self-worth. It may help to speak to a professional to discuss how you are feeling and what support you may need.
• Because your inhibitions are lowered when you use chemsex, you may have less boundaries about what you do sexually and then feel anxious or vulnerable about this afterwards.

How can I get support for chemsex?

Chemsex can have an impact on your everyday life. Some people find that it can have a negative effect on their friendships and work life. People who engage in chemsex can also find it hard to enjoy sex without chemsex drugs.

• If you feel that you need help or support, start by talking to someone like friends or family.
• If you feel that you may have been at risk, then talk to the police or a professional. They may be able to help you and guide you in the right direction.
• Speak to a counsellor or therapist.
• Contact your local drug support service or sexual health service. Here’s an example of a support group at the Terrance Higgins Trust.

Looking back over the past year, it’s hard to work out the exact point at which a bit of fun became an addiction. I’d always prided myself on being able to flirt with the murky world of hard drugs. As a teenager, and into my early twenties, I did what everyone else around me was doing – a few pills at the weekend, a bit of coke when I could afford it, and a couple of joints in the early morning to bring me back to earth. I was more fragile than I realised at the time, but a bad break-up pushed me a bit further than I really wanted to go. I became hell-bent on destruction, angry most of all with myself for trusting the guy I just split up with.

Just a bit of fun

The first time I was offered meth was at my mate’s house party. I’d heard of the ‘chemsex’ scene, but wasn’t sure whether it was just talk. This is basically when a group of guys get together, get high (normally on meth and coke) and have sex.

There were about nine of us in the room at this party. A pipe was passed around and people were smoking what I guessed was crystal meth. When I was offered a line of powder to snort, I just assumed it was coke.

I felt a horrible burning sensation in my nose, followed by a feeling of complete happiness. I couldn’t stop talking, and my heart was racing. I was restless and so horny. I stayed up till the next afternoon, taking Viagra to keep the sex going non-stop. Of course there wasn’t a single condom in sight.

Losing it

After that first time, I vowed never to touch it again – I couldn’t believe the risks I’d put myself through with all that unprotected sex. I slept for two days, but still couldn’t get back to reality. The next weekend I was out again, high on pills and unable to resist going back for another taste of meth. After this my cravings just got stronger and stronger, while paranoia started to set in. I couldn’t sleep, and as I lay in bed, coming down, I felt as though I was slipping into something I could never escape from.

A few months down the line, I lost my job. I don’t remember getting sacked or leaving; just one day it wasn’t there any more. I became obsessive. At home, I’d stay up all night cleaning, and my neighbours complained about me banging about and vacuuming at four in the morning.

I’d be high for days, having sex with so many guys I just lost count, and then days of insomnia and depression would set in, which I’d counteract with more meth. I’d go from extreme horniness and excitement, to utter disgust at the thought of sex, and disgust at the thought of my own body. I had constant nose bleeds and my skin was really itchy all the time.

The rest is hazy. Friends, my sister, even my ex, tried to help, but I shut them out, literally slamming the door on them if I bothered to answer it at all.

Waking up

One morning, I woke up bleeding with excruciating pain in my pelvic area. I’d become accustomed to some pain in the morning. But this time, it was really bad. I could hardly walk properly. My sister happened to come around that day, and seeing me in such pain, she drove me straight to a clinic, insisting I be checked out and tested for STIs. I knew I’d been putting this moment off for months, and I was filled with dread. I discovered that I had gonorrhoea, chlamydia and syphilis; miraculously I hadn’t contracted HIV.

This was the first time in more than six months, that I’d stepped back and took a look at my life. Looking at myself in a mirror for the first time in ages, a skinny, gaunt stranger stared back at me.

It was bad, but at least it wasn’t as bad as could be. I was lucky to be alive, lucky I wasn’t HIV positive, and lucky my sister was there when I needed her most.

Now…

Since then it hasn’t been easy. I’ve been through rehab; paid for by my long-suffering family. On good days, I feel sick when I think about my hellish experiences. On bad nights, I’ve called mates who still use crystal meth and found myself back to square one again. I still have fun and the occasional bit of crystal, but lapses back to meth just me bring misery.I’ve started going to the gym recently, and now my body’s beginning to feel like my own again. I’m still single, but these days I’m cool with that, and when I take a guy home, I make sure we’re safe.

The best advice I can offer to anyone battling with meth addiction is to listen to those who love you and accept their help. I’ve got that far, but I’ve still got a long way to go.

Interviewed by Ramona Andrews