What does self-love mean?

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Charlotte is a feminist, clown and poet who loves to discover the beauty and significance in the so-called insignificant moments of day-to-day living. We asked her, what is self love? Charlotte explained what self love means to her

Self love for me is…

Discovering that space inside myself where I am ultimately love itself. This love does not need or want, it just is. This love gives way to the expressions of joy, peace, benevolence and acceptance. This is the space where I feel at home and whole. No judgement takes place in this space of myself or others. I am worthy just because I am, not because of anything that I feel I have to do.

Self-love means making time for the things I love

Making time for activities or stillness where I can connect with who I am, for example yoga, meditation, putting on my favourite music and dancing.

Self-love is acceptance

Accepting where I am in my life situation, knowing that I have the power to change and grow. I do not have all the answers but I don’t need to know all the answers, everything will unfold when it should. I am held by the universe, I have faith. The power is in me.

Self-love is learning

Knowing that on my darkest days my light can never be extinguished, and those moments are an opportunity to learn something, though this is hard to see in the midst of the darkness. I take responsibility for my growth and try my best to master the lessons that life presents to me. The magic inside me can never be taken away or destroyed but it can be ignored or undiscovered.

(An illustration by my sister)

Self-love is all about the journey

Not comparing myself to others. Compassion for my shadow parts, the parts that I would rather not show to others or acknowledge within myself. Living my truth of who I am. When falling back into ‘ego’, I use this as an opportunity to grow again, each time coming back again, into loving awareness.

It’s the journey. Being at ease on my own. Enjoying my own time just as much as when I am with others. Standing in the love that I am, vulnerably strong. I have grown and learnt so much through challenges in my life, my greatest strength is my ability to love.

Self love meaning

The Mix thanks Charlotte for her amazing description of self love. The meaning of self love can be so many different things, but connecting them all is an acceptance of your own innermost thoughts and feelings and a need to be kinder to yourself. In today’s fast paced world, it’s easy to forget this, but a lack of self love can leave us worn out and impact healthy relationships with our friends and family. So, how can you practice self love and get better at it? Read our guide to self love here to get some tips.

Charlotte’s poem

Charlotte wrote a poem about self love, which she has kindly agreed to share with us.

“I wrote the poem below last year and in some parts it reflects my own journey in discovering that love inside myself.”

I Always Felt A Little Bit Small

I always felt a little bit small

Like I didn’t matter that much at all

Being no more than two inches tall

This was understandable

I went to school

I went to work

I done all that was asked of me

I even went to church

I worried a lot, a lot, a lot

About this, about that

And all that was bad and all that was good

And all the bad that might turn good

And all the good that might turn bad

All this worrying, I turned rather sad

I went a bit blue

I went a bit down

I went a bit frown

In my nightgown, upside down, inside out

“I’m lost, I’m lost!” I began to shout

I screamed so loud no sound came out

I was fit to burst my insides out

I wanted to take flight

To be gone, to go, gone with the wind, outta this show

This wasn’t the way it was meant to go



It was now or never

But never, never showed

So it had to be the now

That was the way to go

I got a bit quiet, I got a bit still

I let my thoughts wash over me

And roll down the hill

This was new

I’d never felt this way before

There was space inside my brain

Where there wasn’t before

I lost who I thought I was which revealed who


A mouse yes on the outside

Whiskers, fur and tail

But on the inside there is no thing, no thing at all

But a light that fills me from nose to tail

And it goes with me everywhere without fail

For I was it or it was me

Whatever this ‘it’ is

It was meant to be

I still go to work

I still do the chores

But I do them with grace and I walk with ease

I look up to the sky and the birds in the trees

Clouds come and go, some greyer than others

Sometimes rain still falls

But this wasn’t a problem like it was before

Because I wasn’t the sad clouds

And I wasn’t the happy sun

I was the nothing of which everything begun,

And this is the magic that can never be undone.

You can watch a video of the poem here.

Share your tips for self love discussion boards and check out the rest of our articles on looking after yourself.

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By Ally Thomas

Updated on 10-Mar-2023

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